Dennis1988 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Hey guys! I'm having some thought about facebook I removed my ex 6 months ago When we broke up.. I'm doing good now and living a great life being single. Traveling, Meeting new people, Doing things never did before. I also Accepted that things are over and it's not meant to be.. Today just realize I should have not removed her. I should have just hide her feeds.. She is a nice person and we had a great 2 year relationship. but sometimes they are just being honest to themselves if things doesn't work out that's why they don't wanna go on anymore. Also I don't know why but I kinda want a way for her to see I'm having a great life.. At this point don't really care if she will have a new picture with someone but it will be awkward if I re-add her again.. What's your thought guys?
Mondmellonw Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 I wouldn't do it. If the only reason why you would do it it's because you want to show her how really happy you feel now... Don't, it's a waste of time, you're happy and you know it. That is what matters the most! 1
barky2 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 I commend your progress so far, keep it up. As far as your question goes.. You may think you're ready. I'd say give it a few more months before you even think about it. Something so little can set up back, I promise you that. Give it a little more time, say 60days. Readdress it then. Barky 6
Mondmellonw Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 I commend your progress so far, keep it up. As far as your question goes.. You may think you're ready. I'd say give it a few more months before you even think about it. Something so little can set up back, I promise you that. Give it a little more time, say 60days. Readdress it then. Barky Barky, do you think that if you are prepared, you can do this? (add the ex). I've seen people who can handle with this and actually, become friends with the ex. I guess it depends on the circumstances. I would never, ever add my ex back, or accept a request from him. (Not even after 12 years).
Author Dennis1988 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 Thanks barky! but isn't it awkward if you re-add someone like that after you removed her? or probably she would get her ego boost up. I commend your progress so far, keep it up. As far as your question goes.. You may think you're ready. I'd say give it a few more months before you even think about it. Something so little can set up back, I promise you that. Give it a little more time, say 60days. Readdress it then. Barky
barky2 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Honestly I think it takes a long time (years) for you to truly truly deep down be over it if someone ment anything to you. That being said, if you have to "prepare" your self I think you're not ready anyway. If you were over it, you wouldn't have to prepare now would you Idk if you'd look stupid re adding, I just don't think it's necessary anytime soon after a breakup. After awhile it wouldn't matter. IMHO, I wouldnt just randomly friend request someone. I'm friends with exs from years ago, and I didn't just up and add them. We reconnected then came the add. But even after 10+years it was still awakard. Barky 4
strive Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 I agree with everyone. You still value her opinion enough to think whether or not it's awkward to add her. And you want to elicit a reaction from her which is why you want to show her how great your life is. It's still her her her. It should be you you you. 1
almond Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Just leave it be. You say you've got a great life and are over your ex...so let it stay that way. No need to add her to have just to open an avenue for her to see what a great life you're having. And no point adding her if you just want to hide her feeds anyway. You're posts suggest that you're not as over it all as you think... 1
sw2020 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 I wouldn't bother. If she has any interest in you, she will know what you're up to anyway. Facebook is just a show that people put on.
joanna-c Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Also I don't know why but I kinda want a way for her to see I'm having a great life.. That's a very important statement. You have to be honest with yourself. You aren't completely over her and that's okay as long you acknowledge that and work the problem. Whenever you find yourself thinking of her or how you want her to see you are having a great life without her, gently distract yourself with something else. And don't add her back or look for a way to communicate. You will be just going in circles.
David87 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 What if she declines your friend request or blocks you? Are u prepared for that?
d0nnivain Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 There was a time before FB, email, cell phones etc. Things were simpler. When a relationship was over it was over & you actually had to work to find or stay in contact with an EX. The fact that you can keep somebody connected to you through FB doesn't mean it's a good idea. Maybe she doesn't want to see you having a good life. If you're 40, I don't have an issue with you having your high school BF/GF as a FB friend but a recent EX (under 10 years apart) needs to be off your radar. 1
CelticGibson Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 I think you need to address exactly why you feel the need to do this. The very reason you are on here asking for advice shows that this girl still has an effect on you. You may THINK that it's over and done but if it were, you would not bother thinking too hard about adding or not. You would just do it without thinking. Why does it matter what she thinks about you and your life. Being friends with an ex may not end up being what you think it will be. She may not bother at all. Anyway, if she wants to be friends, you would be hearing from her already. Best just carry on with your life. What you had with her is done. 2
Author Dennis1988 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 I don't think she will do that. She's the one who keep on pushing for us to be friends before. But I told her not now maybe in the future. On the other hand you guys are probably right. Maybe it's not the right time now as I still care for it being awkward.. Or probably I will just wait her to add me again which I think it's impossible since i'm the one who removed her. What if she declines your friend request or blocks you? Are u prepared for that?
David87 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 I don't think she will do that. She's the one who keep on pushing for us to be friends before. But I told her not now maybe in the future. On the other hand you guys are probably right. Maybe it's not the right time now as I still care for it being awkward.. Or probably I will just wait her to add me again which I think it's impossible since i'm the one who removed her. Give it another month and then see if you still want to an her or not. 1
Author Dennis1988 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 Do you guys removed your ex in facebook too? Give it another month and then see if you still want to an her or not.
barky2 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Blocked the minute we broke up. Ignorance is bliss. Barky 1
fluffball825 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 If you are just even considering re-adding her, it means that you aren't truly over her. You're happy with your new life and I too would want to shove that it an ex's face, but all this will show her is that if she wanted to she could wrap you around her finger. Instead of it looking like you've moved on in your life it will look desperate and interested. If she meant something to you before she will always have a place in your heart but it didn't work out for a reason. If you re-add her you need to admit to yourself the real reasons you want to do it. You want her to see your happy life, possibly be a little jealous she's not in it and hope she may try to get you back. You don't care if she's in a new relationship or not because even if she is you hope and have told yourself that what you both had was so great that she would leave and dump whoever she has now to be with you. You have some great memories from the relationship, don't ruin those memories. Why do so many people think that if the relationship was great you should stay friends after. Friendships don't work after an intense relationship, anyone who says they do is kidding themselves believing humanity can put desire to one side when a desire backed by love always over flows. 3
ayudorama Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Do you guys removed your ex in facebook too? Removed, blocked, the whole shebang. It was messing with my sanity way too much.
David87 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Do you guys removed your ex in facebook too? Yes I'm no longer friends with my las ex on FB, but i am with all of my old exes form years ago.
Author Dennis1988 Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 Same thing with me.. I am friends with most of my exes in facebook. I think the person that means a lot the most to us should be removed. Yes I'm no longer friends with my las ex on FB, but i am with all of my old exes form years ago.
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