dub45022 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Hey first time poster, looks like alot of good advice is given here. I met this girl with a girl at my buddies girlfriends house. Friended her on facebook the next day...she messaged me, got her number and texted a little bit. I didn't show alot of interest as there's alot of baggage. We hung out with some friends one weekend, she stayed over, and we hung out all day the next day. We didn't hang out again till a party at my house on New Years, about a week later. Though we talked on the phone and texted quite a bit, pretty much everyday and alot. The following week she had me come over for dinner, I met her kids, and she gave me a hug and kiss goodbye, without me prompting, seems good. Here's where it get's a little off, the next day she doesn't text me...ok, Friday same thing, and when I texted her I get short answers. So I stop texting her. Saturday around 4 she blows my phone up with texts...I give short answers and she texts more. So I tell her i'm having people over for the games tonight if you're looking for something to do. Said she was busy...the girls were going out. Ok was my response, a few hours later they say they are stopping by later in the night, and did. She has now texted me the past couple days pretty much all day. So I called her tonight after work, talked for a while, tried to make plans for Wednesday but shes working, and then we started talking about her birthday this weekend and what her plan is. So I told her, i'm going to take her to dinner for her birthday...she said maybe...I said don't be stubborn...she agreed but we didn't set a day. I guess i'm asking what's her game...is she not interested...playing hard to get...or thinks i'm trying to maker her commit. Should I just let her know I enjoy what we're doing, not trying to rush anything, and just going with the flow, or how should I handle it. Thanks in advance.
CptSaveAho Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 did you sleep with her?.... answer no theres the problem
Author dub45022 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 (edited) Nope...not the issue. Edited January 14, 2014 by dub45022 1
nescafe1982 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Honestly, that wall-of-text was hard to read... so I may not have this right. But did you ask her on an honest-to-goodness date? Like instead of just "hanging out" (which gets tiresome if a real date doesn't come along after a while), did you ask her out to dinner, a movie, a real date? If yes, and she declined, it's not "hard to get." She's not interested. If no, you won't really know what the deal is until you ask her out. She may very well be waiting for you to ask. The birthday dinner doesn't count in my opinion. I spend birthdays with all my close friends, not going out to dinner with a new guy I just met. Her "maybe" doesn't necessarily mean she's stringing you along, in that one case.
CptSaveAho Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 yawn typical nice guys will never figure it out... shes not interested in you... should have slept with her... doesnt matter what you say/text or whatever advice the women of this forum will give you, they just project anyways
nescafe1982 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 I'm certain that projecting is the one thing CptSaveAho never does. Ever.
Author dub45022 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 Honestly, that wall-of-text was hard to read... so I may not have this right. But did you ask her on an honest-to-goodness date? Like instead of just "hanging out" (which gets tiresome if a real date doesn't come along after a while), did you ask her out to dinner, a movie, a real date? If yes, and she declined, it's not "hard to get." She's not interested. If no, you won't really know what the deal is until you ask her out. She may very well be waiting for you to ask. The birthday dinner doesn't count in my opinion. I spend birthdays with all my close friends, not going out to dinner with a new guy I just met. Her "maybe" doesn't necessarily mean she's stringing you along, in that one case. Yes the wall of text is rough. But basically the conversation was, i'm taking you to dinner for your birthday...oh yea...yea don't be stubborn...ok maybe, i am stubborn...ok we'll go next week after your birthday...i don't like people paying for me...I wouldn't offer if i didn't want to...ok sounds good. Suppose I should've included this, she says shes not looking for a relationship... I'm not necessarily either but enjoy hanging out with her. Also she seems to have alot of...lets say issues. Should I tell her i'm cool with what's going on and whatever happens happens so she know where i'm at, or just let it be?
nescafe1982 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Those texts sound flirty to me! Wait a couple days and call her up (don't text) with a follow up plan. "So what about that birthday dinner we talked about? How do you feel about Thursday night? Do you like Italian?" etc etc. She didn't say no to you. She sounds like she's waiting for you to tell her the plan. Give her one. As for the "issues," and not wanting something serious... where do you stand on these? If you want something serious, don't think you'll change her mind. And the other issues... are they things you can live with? Have fun!
Author dub45022 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 (edited) Those texts sound flirty to me! Wait a couple days and call her up (don't text) with a follow up plan. "So what about that birthday dinner we talked about? How do you feel about Thursday night? Do you like Italian?" etc etc. She didn't say no to you. She sounds like she's waiting for you to tell her the plan. Give her one. As for the "issues," and not wanting something serious... where do you stand on these? If you want something serious, don't think you'll change her mind. And the other issues... are they things you can live with? Have fun! The scheduling thing is tough because she has 2 kids. As for something serious...i'm cool with where we are at, maybe hang out a little more. The other issues are the past. Edited January 14, 2014 by dub45022
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