devastated777 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 This coming Saturday will be the third month. I did break a four week stretch of NC one week ago today. Anyway, after going on a hike with a super guy yesterday, I felt really low today. Missed him all day and I think it's because I dreamt of him last night. That he texted me saying how he missed me and could not wait to see me. Go figure. Anyway, this guy is great, has everything going for him, handsome, smart and has the best personality. I just feel like he is too good for me which tells me, I'm just not ready yet. I have expressed to him how I am enjoying (at least supposed to be) finding myself right now. Been with someone, always pleasing them, since I was 15. When will this get better and do I need professional help? I just cannot for the life of me understand how someone who absolutely adored me and said we were soulmates and how miserable we would be without each other could just abruptly end it and turn so vile and mean. When I ask how he is, etc and tell him I forgive him, I got nothing. I missed that one by a long shot. Now I wonder how I will ever be able to trust anyone. UGH I am so f#$%#ed.
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Been with someone, always pleasing them, since I was 15. Hmmmm... Red Flag!!!! Sounds like you've built up a nice case of co-dependence and low self-esteem. When will this get better and do I need professional help? Takes time. Be patient. And, yes, sounds like you could definitely benefit from some counseling for the reasons stated above
Author devastated777 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 Wow. Thanks for that. I am going to read about co-dependency.
Author devastated777 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 I just googled it and unfortunately, that is me. I also had my Mother, who was ill for years and took care of her. I will get some Kindle books about this before I go to counseling. Thanks Mountainbiker.
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Wow. Thanks for that. I am going to read about co-dependency. Nothing to be ashamed of. Many, many people suffer from this including myself. These are things we are never really taught growing up and if you don't figure it out for yourself somewhere along the way, you get blasted by it. I know, cause I'm living it now myself. A popular book about this is called 'Codependent No More' by Melody Beattie. I have it, but haven't read it yet. It's next 2
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