What do I do from here

[MNLP]

Backstory:

GF and I dated for 2 1/2 months. It was the most serious and perfect relationship I have ever been in. We spent so much time together and things were going great. Out of no where she said that she felt that she could not see things going to the next level with us. I was crushed. She ended things and it was a pretty messy break-up I was bad at NC at first but got better.

 

Before she left for a trip to Europe I talked to her and said how I just wanted her to be happy (which is true) and thanked her for dating me. She was moved at what I said and we both agreed that we would try to be friends.

 

This past Saturday we decided to meet up for coffee: test the friendship waters and so I could return some of here thing she left at my apartment (she was basically living there). It was fantastic. It was like nothing ever changed we were laughing and getting along amazing like always. We talked about our lives for an hour and then talked about the break-up how much it hurt both of us and what was going to happen next. I asked if she thought we would ever date again and she said that she could see it happening in the future. She said that she was the reason the relationship ended, the timing was bad and she was not really ready for something serious. I left the coffee happy with where things were going.

 

That night I went on a date. A way to get over her I told myself. The date was great, the girl is someone before my ex who I would have been super into and wanted to pursue something with. The whole time I could only think about how she was not my ex and all the things that she was lacking compared to me ex.

 

I decided that my ex is worth waiting for. I decided I would wait as long as I needed to win her back.

 

Sunday night my ex texted me. Explaining again how it was her fault the relationship ended and that she wanted to be friends, but leave the door open for anything to happen. So I asked what we would do now?

She invited me to a basketball game the following Saturday. These were free tickets and she has many many friends she could take.

 

I want to get her back and am willing to wait a long time for it to happen. I honestly believe that she might be my soul mate. My question now is what do I do?

 

-If you read all this thanks.

[Lennon]

Backstory:

GF and I dated for 2 1/2 months. It was the most serious and perfect relationship I have ever been in. We spent so much time together and things were going great. Out of no where she said that she felt that she could not see things going to the next level with us. I was crushed. She ended things and it was a pretty messy break-up I was bad at NC at first but got better.

 

Before she left for a trip to Europe I talked to her and said how I just wanted her to be happy (which is true) and thanked her for dating me. She was moved at what I said and we both agreed that we would try to be friends.

 

This past Saturday we decided to meet up for coffee: test the friendship waters and so I could return some of here thing she left at my apartment (she was basically living there). It was fantastic. It was like nothing ever changed we were laughing and getting along amazing like always. We talked about our lives for an hour and then talked about the break-up how much it hurt both of us and what was going to happen next. I asked if she thought we would ever date again and she said that she could see it happening in the future. She said that she was the reason the relationship ended, the timing was bad and she was not really ready for something serious. I left the coffee happy with where things were going.

 

That night I went on a date. A way to get over her I told myself. The date was great, the girl is someone before my ex who I would have been super into and wanted to pursue something with. The whole time I could only think about how she was not my ex and all the things that she was lacking compared to me ex.

 

I decided that my ex is worth waiting for. I decided I would wait as long as I needed to win her back.

 

Sunday night my ex texted me. Explaining again how it was her fault the relationship ended and that she wanted to be friends, but leave the door open for anything to happen. So I asked what we would do now?

She invited me to a basketball game the following Saturday. These were free tickets and she has many many friends she could take.

 

I want to get her back and am willing to wait a long time for it to happen. I honestly believe that she might be my soul mate. My question now is what do I do?

 

-If you read all this thanks.

 

its not fair to you man,

you deserve a girl who's ready for a relationship with you now not later.

when she starts dating other guys even just casually its gonna crush you.

Go N/C man, just drop off the face of the earth cos right now your in the palm of her hand, she can take or leave it whenever she wants. You got to show her you can't be treated like that.

[flightplan]

Your emotionally investing in her... she is not. You're setting yourself up for failure. Don't do it, it's not an even playing field. Your going to get hurt bad if you continue down this path. My advice is throttle it back, protect your heart. Keep dating the other girl and just be friends. Let if flow, but don't save yourself for what you think may be your "soulmate" because everything she is saying says otherwise.

[MNLP]

Ex and I talked on the phone for an hour on Tuesday night talking and explaining what we both want.b

 

She wants to be friends. But the whole time she kept telling me how sad she was that she could not force herself to love me.

 

I told her I would not want anyone to have to force themselves to love me.

 

She said that she wants to try a friendship, but thinks that feelings could surface again.

 

We both agreed (and she brought it up) that we have to be super honest with one another about how we are feeling and what we want.

 

I told her that I want her to be happy and that my life is better when she is in it even if we are not dating.

 

I can hear how much she misses us in her voice.

 

We are going to go to a basketball game this Saturday and maybe out to dinner after.

 

I have started talking to some other girls and don't feel so emotionally attached to my ex anymore. I found out she hooked up with someone on Saturday night, the same night I hooked up with someone too.

 

My plan is just to see how this friendship thing works.

 

I would be lying if I said I did not miss her and want her back. So I am going to see what happens in the Friendzone. (I cannot believe I am 23 and just used the expression Friendzone)

 

-Here is to Happy Endings.

[iworthmore]

OK. you do that, be her friend but dont forget to buy a huge box of heartache pills.

 

it doesnt matter how you see things. what matter is how she see them. u think she's ur soul mate while she doesn't think the same. if she loves you and willing to be with you she wont end things. regardless the reason. obviously she doesn't want to be with you.

 

she want's you as her friend?? lots of reason for that. it can be out of pity, it can be a way to keep u a backup man. it can be out of many reason's but she still not really want to be with you.

 

ur entering the gate of mixed signals, that gonna make u so confused and will make you suffer, and being her friend? u only gonna see other guys hit on her and flirt with her while ur mouth shut.

 

man listen to other ppl here and go NC. why?

 

ur self respect, u dont need her in ur life, u were happy b4 she appeared and u will be again.

being available show's weakness, show's that your life is empty without her, dont be so available, dont show her that she can affect you all the time.

 

dont go to that game, cuz u have ur own life and its not only abt her.

they say u dont appreciate what u have till it's gone, maybe she will appreciate you but first u must be gone.

 

never be her friend, will show u as needy, be independent, a man that can control his feeling and face emotions strongly. if she ever come back that's great if not u gained ur self respect and moved on.

 

NC for a while, LC on time in the right way. and be ready to the face that she might never come back.

i wish someone told me that b4 i faced my break up. so here i am telling u . ( never was friend with my ex but still needed this advice b4)

[MNLP]

OK. you do that, be her friend but dont forget to buy a huge box of heartache pills.

 

it doesnt matter how you see things. what matter is how she see them. u think she's ur soul mate while she doesn't think the same. if she loves you and willing to be with you she wont end things. regardless the reason. obviously she doesn't want to be with you.

 

she want's you as her friend?? lots of reason for that. it can be out of pity, it can be a way to keep u a backup man. it can be out of many reason's but she still not really want to be with you.

 

ur entering the gate of mixed signals, that gonna make u so confused and will make you suffer, and being her friend? u only gonna see other guys hit on her and flirt with her while ur mouth shut.

 

man listen to other ppl here and go NC. why?

 

ur self respect, u dont need her in ur life, u were happy b4 she appeared and u will be again.

being available show's weakness, show's that your life is empty without her, dont be so available, dont show her that she can affect you all the time.

 

dont go to that game, cuz u have ur own life and its not only abt her.

they say u dont appreciate what u have till it's gone, maybe she will appreciate you but first u must be gone.

 

never be her friend, will show u as needy, be independent, a man that can control his feeling and face emotions strongly. if she ever come back that's great if not u gained ur self respect and moved on.

 

NC for a while, LC on time in the right way. and be ready to the face that she might never come back.

i wish someone told me that b4 i faced my break up. so here i am telling u . ( never was friend with my ex but still needed this advice b4)

 

Never be her friend? Why? How does that make me needy? I am friends with almost all of my exes and I don't think any of them would describe me as needy.

I think you are reading into my situation all wrong. I totally understand that she might not come back, but why not try?

 

A little positive thinking goes a long way.

And if it does not work out I will have learned something and know that I put myself out there.

[Simon Phoenix]

Ex and I talked on the phone for an hour on Tuesday night talking and explaining what we both want.b

 

She wants to be friends. But the whole time she kept telling me how sad she was that she could not force herself to love me.

 

I told her I would not want anyone to have to force themselves to love me.

 

She said that she wants to try a friendship, but thinks that feelings could surface again.

 

We both agreed (and she brought it up) that we have to be super honest with one another about how we are feeling and what we want.

 

I told her that I want her to be happy and that my life is better when she is in it even if we are not dating.

 

I can hear how much she misses us in her voice.

 

We are going to go to a basketball game this Saturday and maybe out to dinner after.

 

I have started talking to some other girls and don't feel so emotionally attached to my ex anymore. I found out she hooked up with someone on Saturday night, the same night I hooked up with someone too.

 

My plan is just to see how this friendship thing works.

 

I would be lying if I said I did not miss her and want her back. So I am going to see what happens in the Friendzone. (I cannot believe I am 23 and just used the expression Friendzone)

 

-Here is to Happy Endings.

 

You are trying to swim across a river filled with piranhas instead of using a boat. All I can say is best of luck, you're going to need it.

[iworthmore]

Never be her friend? Why? How does that make me needy? I am friends with almost all of my exes and I don't think any of them would describe me as needy.

I think you are reading into my situation all wrong. I totally understand that she might not come back, but why not try?

 

A little positive thinking goes a long way.

And if it does not work out I will have learned something and know that I put myself out there.

 

 

well, everyone see's things with different perspective. if u r emotionally capable to be her friend then go ahead.

 

this is how i see things, its not a negative thinking, its great thing to be friends with ur ex as long as u r completely over her. there is no reason why not to be she's not ur enemy and she's free with her life to make decisions.

 

the main point here is to move on in a healthy way that wont make it take longer.

 

best wishes.

[d0cholliday]

well, everyone see's things with different perspective. if u r emotionally capable to be her friend then go ahead.

 

this is how i see things, its not a negative thinking, its great thing to be friends with ur ex as long as u r completely over her. there is no reason why not to be she's not ur enemy and she's free with her life to make decisions.

 

the main point here is to move on in a healthy way that wont make it take longer.

 

best wishes.

 

I want to ask you for opinion. If you are clear in your head, and you can be friends with your ex, since connection between is so strong, and it's kinda hard to let that go, what do you think is it a good idea to flirt with your ex during this friendship, maybe a little bit evil, but hey, we are men, they are women

 

To the OP, you were together for 2 and half months? That's not serious, no way, you miss her cause she rejected you. Don't fall in the friendzone. I would take a little more time for myself, maybe a month, try NC, but if you can't do LC instead, be rude and polite, cocky, tease her, but always be short, and always end the conversation first. If you will try being friends, but want her back It's like you are a spy, doing tricks, I think that's ok, but be well prepared to get hurt. Don't be available to her all the time, go out, start dating. And when you are with her, be the guy she was attracted to.

[iworthmore]

I want to ask you for opinion. If you are clear in your head, and you can be friends with your ex, since connection between is so strong, and it's kinda hard to let that go, what do you think is it a good idea to flirt with your ex during this friendship, maybe a little bit evil, but hey, we are men, they are women

 

hey we are men they are women, that's why we **** thing's up. lol

 

bro, if you are clear in your head why to flirt with her? it's an attempt to win her back.

 

folks, im not being negative, i dont compare every ex with my ex and i dont generalize. some ex's r worth fighting for. but it depends on the reasons the BU happened.

 

in my case, i never cheated, never abused, never been jealous, treated her very well, but suddenly she wanted to end things. she chose not to take me as part of her life, what should i do? beg her? try to be her friend? its like she closed the door for me and im trying to enter thru the window. guys, its pathetic if we do so, believe me.

 

if u cheated on her, or abused her, or did whatever caused her pain then u shoud do whatever it takes to win her back. but if she decide to break things off with no reason, then its not about u, its about her. maybe GIGS or maybe there r someone else or only confused.

 

the main point here is to save our self respect, and avoid any pain. why to invest emotions on someone who gave up on us so easy, we r not important to them why to make them our lives.

 

in ur case its ok to do such evil things lol, but dont make it ur main strategy, try to attract her back, and maybe make her jealous lil bit.

be confident and happy, dont be so much available, flirting is silly act any man can do it, it never attract women it's only improve their moods around u.

[d0cholliday]

hey we are men they are women, that's why we **** thing's up. lol

 

bro, if you are clear in your head why to flirt with her? it's an attempt to win her back.

 

folks, im not being negative, i dont compare every ex with my ex and i dont generalize. some ex's r worth fighting for. but it depends on the reasons the BU happened.

 

in my case, i never cheated, never abused, never been jealous, treated her very well, but suddenly she wanted to end things. she chose not to take me as part of her life, what should i do? beg her? try to be her friend? its like she closed the door for me and im trying to enter thru the window. guys, its pathetic if we do so, believe me.

 

if u cheated on her, or abused her, or did whatever caused her pain then u shoud do whatever it takes to win her back. but if she decide to break things off with no reason, then its not about u, its about her. maybe GIGS or maybe there r someone else or only confused.

 

I mean flirting just to let her see what she is missing, and you never know, maybe you could be happy with her, it's like keeping her in reserve, plus you get a free excersise in flirting. And yes, be happy, and enjoy life. I could never be friend to my ex, and that's what she wants, well she didn't deserve to get what she wants from me, she get's what she gets, don't like...move on. I'm kinda in anger phase now, so maybe I'm not really the right person to give advice. One thing is for sure, you do what you think is right to do, and what I learned expect the worse hope for the best, and use every moment the best you can.

[MNLP]

Saw her on Saturday.

I met at her place and she drove to the basketball game. We talked like normal caught up on each others lives. Somehow got on the topic of dates we had gone on since the break up. I had been on more than her, but we both said we had gone on nothing but bad dates. We got to the game and talked to each other more than actually watching the game. We talked about how our 2014's were not off to the best start and gave each other advice on how to fix it. We even talked briefly about one night stands we had since the break up and how we don't like them and they felt empty. The game was fun and we joked around some too.

 

We left the game early because we were both really hungry and wanted to get something to eat. On the way out we played in the snow a bit throwing snowballs sliding down some ice and laughing a lot. At dinner we talked about things that we talked about when we were dating, like nothing had ever changed. She dropped me back at her car we hugged and said goodbye.

 

Takeaway: I saw better than ever why she ended things. She was not at all ready for as serious of a relationship as we were in. I could have been the most perfect man in the world and she still would have ended things. She has a lot of her own stuff she needs to work through/on.

 

The whole situation is just so strange. It really felt like nothing had changed when we were together and I have never been in a breakup where things have felt that way.

 

My plan now is to let her make the next move. I'm going NC and just wanna see how this plays out. I am moving on from trying to get back with her and now just seeing what happens. That same night I went out and met a super nice girl and we have been texting since.

 

I could be friends with my ex, but I do not want to force anything. I'm gonna see where she wants to take things.

 

There is the update!

 

-Here is to Happy Endings!

[hippetyhop]

Smart move.

 

Be friends with her when you are ready to be friends. If a relationship wasn't in the cards for now, it is the same if being "just friends" isn't in the cards for you. If you understand her stance, she should understand yours.