KelC411 Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Hi all! I haven't been on in a while, but I didn't want to abandon the LS community. I remember that in the first couple days after my BU, I craved posts from people later on in their grieving because I needed reassurance that it got better. So, I am paying it forward by posting about how I am feeling now that 2 months have passed. Good news: it does get better! I no longer cry or wince at every reminder of my ex. I can say his name and talk about our RS without that feeling like someone punched me in my gut. I talk about other things with people! I think about other things when I wake up in the morning. I can complete a task without having to stop to collect myself. I can laugh and smile and lay in positions other than the fetal position! I can think about him, me, andour RS more clearly and rationally. I have been on dates! Things that are still hard: I still get sad often. It is a different kind of sadness and much more manageable but it still hurts. I moved into my own place after staying with my dad for a month and it gets lonely and sad, especially at night. I have started to realize the mistakes that I made in the relationship and that I need to deal with those which is a good thing, but it is hard to admit that you have issues. I have started going on dates (nothing serious) and it is awkward. Sometimes I get sad when I, for example, leave a movie with a guy and remember how I usd to hold my ex's hand on the way out and dissect the movie. I wonder if I am ready to date at all, but still try to give guys a chance, if only to get out of the house. So, its not totally better. I still miss him sometimes. But, for those of you who are still in the very intense grieving, I wanted to tell you that there is hope. I started feeling stronger about a month in and have improved since. You will make it and you won't always feel the way you do now! Stay NC, take care of yourself, and know you are not alone. <3 3
conmorse Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 I just the 2 month mark just a couple of days ago and I'll be honesty, I do feel a lot better than the initial break up but I still do get sad a lot. Like you said, it's a manageable sadness but it still sucks. I've been in no contact with my ex pretty much since day one, but shes still on my mind quite a bit. Lately I've been kind of stuck reminiscing about the past and getting upset that it's all over. It's only been 2 months so hopefully the next few will be a lot better. 1
flightplan Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Ditto guys. Almost three months here, but it's definitely easier. Sure, I get sad, but at the same time, I have no desire to reach out to her. In fact, the idea of getting back with her is not something I desire to do anymore. I think I've turned a major corner this past couple of weeks. I'm getting my self esteem and confidence back and I can go through the day without constantly thinking about her. Still a lot of work to do, but I think I've bottomed out and now I'm on the upswing. For all those just starting this journey... it WILL get better! Thanks to the OP for posting. 4
ponchsox Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 I'm over three months and it definitely gets easier. Even though the circumstances are the same, my feelings about the breakup are different. A couple of months ago it felt like the world was coming to end. Now I look at it as I did everything I could and it didn't work out so it's time to move on. 1
devastated777 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 My 3 month mark will be this Saturday. I have had a bad day. I went on a hike with a handsome, great guy yesterday that I have been out with once and we had a great time. He asked me out again but I made up some lame excuse to get out of it. We had a great time yesterday but I almost feel like he is too good for me. I have serious self esteem issues now. Who knows, maybe I'm just slower than you.
Author KelC411 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 I just the 2 month mark just a couple of days ago and I'll be honesty, I do feel a lot better than the initial break up but I still do get sad a lot. Like you said, it's a manageable sadness but it still sucks. I've been in no contact with my ex pretty much since day one, but shes still on my mind quite a bit. Lately I've been kind of stuck reminiscing about the past and getting upset that it's all over. It's only been 2 months so hopefully the next few will be a lot better. That is my hope too! That eventually the sadness will just become indifference or maybe even one day being able to feel happy for him.
Author KelC411 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 Ditto guys. Almost three months here, but it's definitely easier. Sure, I get sad, but at the same time, I have no desire to reach out to her. In fact, the idea of getting back with her is not something I desire to do anymore. I think I've turned a major corner this past couple of weeks. I'm getting my self esteem and confidence back and I can go through the day without constantly thinking about her. Still a lot of work to do, but I think I've bottomed out and now I'm on the upswing. For all those just starting this journey... it WILL get better! Thanks to the OP for posting. So glad you are feeling better too!
Author KelC411 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 I'm over three months and it definitely gets easier. Even though the circumstances are the same, my feelings about the breakup are different. A couple of months ago it felt like the world was coming to end. Now I look at it as I did everything I could and it didn't work out so it's time to move on. Exactly! It still isn't perfect but it no longer feels like things will never get better.
Author KelC411 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 My 3 month mark will be this Saturday. I have had a bad day. I went on a hike with a handsome, great guy yesterday that I have been out with once and we had a great time. He asked me out again but I made up some lame excuse to get out of it. We had a great time yesterday but I almost feel like he is too good for me. I have serious self esteem issues now. Who knows, maybe I'm just slower than you. I think everyone goes at their own pace. And I have also heard that 3 months is a down point for a lot of people for whatever reason (maybe the finality of things? I don't know). Also, even though I am better, I still can't date at all. I tried and it was the same thing. I made up reasons to not go out again. I think we probably just aren't ready for that yet. I hope you start feeling better and that one day we both love ourselves enough to love someone else again!
EuTuBrute Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I'm 10 months post BU...It does get better folks I miss her, but the pain is gone. Keep your heads up people.
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