How do you cope with these painful moments? About to break NC

[lolitahaze]

We all know songs trigger memories. Today I suffered from this. thought I was doing ok today until my coworker showed me what he thought was a random and harmless video from youtube. Very well, the video was like a bullet to my heart, a bagpipe musician playing certain soundtrack in the streets of the city where we first lived togheter. Let's say it was "our song" in a way, while we were living abroad togheter. Listening to it brought me a lot of memories, good memories, and I got sad in just one second. It suddenly hit me, the beauty of our relationship is gone forever, how could he just ruin what we had!? Will he feel the same if he listened to the song now? Would he even think of me? Well, back to my story, I could not hold my tears back and my coworker saw my crying like out of the blue...i felt so embarrassed...i feel so vulnerable, like a little girl crying while im working in front of a complete stranger because of a silly song. I want to go back to those days so bad :.( This sucks. I want to be a strong woman. It has been 2 months since he dumped me and 3 weeks since i last talked to him. And right now i want him so bad it hurts...how do you cope with these moments? I would like to say to him i remembered our days in that foreign city, see if he feels the same. But i know is not a good idea. When will i start to feel like myself again? When will these things stop affecting me?

[Haydn]

No do not contact him and do not get sad over bagpipe music, just imagine someone trying to play an octopus!

 

You will cope. 2 months is not long, things are very fresh and triggers can be everywhere. He left you, do not let him know how you feel. Its not his to know anymore.

 

In moments of weakness post here.

 

 

We all know songs trigger memories. Today I suffered from this. thought I was doing ok today until my coworker showed me what he thought was a random and harmless video from youtube. Very well, the video was like a bullet to my heart, a bagpipe musician playing certain soundtrack in the streets of the city where we first lived togheter. Let's say it was "our song" in a way, while we were living abroad togheter. Listening to it brought me a lot of memories, good memories, and I got sad in just one second. It suddenly hit me, the beauty of our relationship is gone forever, how could he just ruin what we had!? Will he feel the same if he listened to the song now? Would he even think of me? Well, back to my story, I could not hold my tears back and my coworker saw my crying like out of the blue...i felt so embarrassed...i feel so vulnerable, like a little girl crying while im working in front of a complete stranger because of a silly song. I want to go back to those days so bad :.( This sucks. I want to be a strong woman. It has been 2 months since he dumped me and 3 weeks since i last talked to him. And right now i want him so bad it hurts...how do you cope with these moments? I would like to say to him i remembered our days in that foreign city, see if he feels the same. But i know is not a good idea. When will i start to feel like myself again? When will these things stop affecting me?

[TaraMaiden]

When you decide it's time to shed the grief.

 

And it really will be a choice, an on-going process.

 

How long?

I dunno, that's up to you.

 

We have no right to presume someone else's presence will either validate our lives or create a perfect haven.

 

Other people are other people, and what you see as something in the past as perfect, idyllic, wonderful, soul-enhancing.... he might see as soul-destroying, debilitating, stifling and hindering.

 

You see, he broke up with you, because it wasn't working for him.

And the love of one, cannot support the two.....

[mantlefan]

Yeah, there are still many triggers for me.

 

 

Even worse, after the BU I sent her CD's with songs on them and notes, trying to get her back.

 

 

I am going to give myself a sarcastic pat on the back for that one, making more triggers for myself.

[lolitahaze]

No do not contact him and do not get sad over bagpipe music, just imagine someone trying to play an octopus!

 

You will cope. 2 months is not long, things are very fresh and triggers can be everywhere. He left you, do not let him know how you feel. Its not his to know anymore.

 

In moments of weakness post here.

 

imagining someone playing the octopus is gonna work! Thank you, yes I guess I just need more time...

[lolitahaze]

Yeah, there are still many triggers for me.

 

 

Even worse, after the BU I sent her CD's with songs on them and notes, trying to get her back.

 

 

I am going to give myself a sarcastic pat on the back for that one, making more triggers for myself.

 

 

I know exactly what you were thinking when you sent her that stuff, I have had that feeling too, the need to make them feel the same as we do, to share our suffering...out of desperation, just hoping they realize they love and miss us back...hope is a bitch. Don't feel bad for that...

[mantlefan]

I know exactly what you were thinking when you sent her that stuff, I have had that feeling too, the need to make them feel the same as we do, to share our suffering...out of desperation, just hoping they realize they love and miss us back...hope is a bitch. Don't feel bad for that...

 

Well, I think my main goal was to get her to miss me, to know how much I love her, and how good we could be if we tried again. I am now slowly strangling out the last of the hope.

[ponchsox]

You just have to let the emotions pass and avoid NC at all costs. I broke contact last week after 2 months. I felt much better the next day and ever since and maybe it's a positive sign that I am moving on. I have finally accepted the relationship is over and was for the best. Instead of letting my emotions get in the way, I look at it as simply last year we dated, this year we aren't.