kalyanna Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Hi everyone. New to this board. I met this guy thru OLD and we have been talking for 5 weeks. We've gone out twice and had a few cancellations due to weather issues. We text everyday. I have noticed lately that he hasn't been as affectionate in his messages and on Saturday I only heard from him in the morning. Don't know if this is normal after 5 weeks maybe. Anyway even though we have been out twice we had hugged but never kissed. We do sext a lot though and we are very attracted to each other. He was suppose to come and see me yesterday and he tore a ligament and had to go to emerg and was there for 5 hours. He still came and saw me at my house after even though he was in pain and we fooled around quite a bit. We did not have sex. I sent him a message after that he did not respond to and I send him one this morning that he has not responded to. He is on Whatsapp so I can see when he has been on his phone. So my question is - he hasn't been as affectionate in his texts, doesn't always respond to ones I send even though I can see he has been online and even though yesterday was our first time being intimate I have not heard from him - am I being too sensitive. Am i expecting too much? But he made the effort to come and see me and we had a good time when we were together.
Mimsicles Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 I've just been through more or less the exact same thing. He jumped off a plane having arrived back in the country and came straight to see me because he missed me apparently. As soon as we got intimate I never heard from him again. I think some men can be very manipulative in the way they behave just to get what they want. If I were you I definitely wouldn't text him again, give him space and if he wants to contact you then he will in time. It seems to me that as soon as I back off and act uninterested they suddenly become interested! I normally change their number in my phone to 'do not text' just to stop my textual urges!
mammasita Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Im confused....you hugged but never kissed and yesterday was your first time being intimate? What is your definition of being intimate? ....and How old are you?
Author kalyanna Posted January 13, 2014 Author Posted January 13, 2014 Yes, we hugged on both our previous dates but did not kiss. Yesterday, we kissed and fooled around but didn't have oral or sex. In our 30's.
Author kalyanna Posted January 13, 2014 Author Posted January 13, 2014 I've just been through more or less the exact same thing. He jumped off a plane having arrived back in the country and came straight to see me because he missed me apparently. As soon as we got intimate I never heard from him again. I think some men can be very manipulative in the way they behave just to get what they want. If I were you I definitely wouldn't text him again, give him space and if he wants to contact you then he will in time. It seems to me that as soon as I back off and act uninterested they suddenly become interested! I normally change their number in my phone to 'do not text' just to stop my textual urges! I hope that 's not the case because it's not a good feeling. Now when we were together he talked about what we were going to do next time. I also initiated things last night.
mammasita Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Yes, we hugged on both our previous dates but did not kiss. Yesterday, we kissed and fooled around but didn't have oral or sex. In our 30's. Well you didn't have sex, so I don't think its a case of "he got what he wanted and bailed"......so I think you might just be over-reacting a bit. Just relax, keep your mind occupied with other things. Call a girlfriend or family, go out and do something, happy hour, movies, park, shop......SOMETHING!.... and let him contact you.
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 You have been together for 5 weeks but yesterday he had a major injury which landed him in the ER & will most likely required surgery but you think that he's lost interest because he hasn't come on to you lately. Have you considered the fact that he's in PAIN? He can't put pressure on his knee . . . so missionary is out for the immediate future. Give the guy a break. Send him a get well card.
Author kalyanna Posted January 13, 2014 Author Posted January 13, 2014 You have been together for 5 weeks but yesterday he had a major injury which landed him in the ER & will most likely required surgery but you think that he's lost interest because he hasn't come on to you lately. Have you considered the fact that he's in PAIN? He can't put pressure on his knee . . . so missionary is out for the immediate future. Give the guy a break. Send him a get well card. I don't think you read the post correctly. He didn't have surgery - tore a ligament in his knee. I thought that it was really sweet that he came over after. We did fool around - no sex or oral - and he was active - unfortunately, I did hurt his knee a few times. But I texted him right after and no response - thought maybe he just went to bed because of pain. Texted him this morning to see how his knee is doing and he has been online a few times since I texted him and no response. At before that he has really slowed down with the texts and affection. Should I be concerned or am I over reacting or should I just ask him if something is up. I actually offered to go sit with him while he was waiting at the hospital.
Zahara Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 OP, step back on your texting. Allow him to initiate and go from there. I'm not into the whole chase concept but some guys take it for granted when they know you are readily available, especially when they know you are interested. It's one thing to be all up and about with each other when you are face to face but that doesn't mean that once you're out of sight, you should be out of mind. I don't believe you are being sensitive. It isn't difficult to return a text and if you do see him online, then even more so, there is no excuse to not respond. If he can hobble to you apartment to make out, there is no reason why he can't use his fingers to text. Let him come to you. And when he doesn't respond to you, don't go re-texting to get his attention. 3
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 I said may eventually need surgery . . . not that he already had it. I do think that you need to back off a bit. You have reach out a few times now, with no response from him. Give him a chance to come to you. If he doesn't you have your answer.
winny Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 I cannot put a finger on why he is being less affectionate or texting less... But if I know something for sure is at this point u need to back off and wait for him to get back. Same as many others have mentioned above. Yes this will cause you anxiety and stress but still u have to stick to it.
Author kalyanna Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 Update: so he was still being quite unresponsive and I mentioned it to him and still no change so I sent him a message this morning letting him know that I wasn't interested in pursuing this anymore and then blocked him so I don't get tempted to reach out to him again. I do miss him though :-(
MidwestUSA Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Update: so he was still being quite unresponsive and I mentioned it to him and still no change so I sent him a message this morning letting him know that I wasn't interested in pursuing this anymore and then blocked him so I don't get tempted to reach out to him again. I do miss him though :-( Sorry it worked out this way. Depending on the severity of the tear, he could be in for a long recovery. I had both knees operated on within six weeks of each other, and was in no mood to be social. I guess you were a victim of bad timing.
Author kalyanna Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 You've only been seeing each other for a little over a month, hugged but never kissed, sext a lot but no action in real life. Yeah, there's totally nothing wrong with that at all. Here's a clue, princess. He lost interest and he's now chasing after another princess that will give him some action. It hurts but that's the truth. Chalk it up to experience and move on. Actually he's very inexperienced and I was ready to move forward and he was the one that wanted to take things slow.
Author kalyanna Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 Actually he's very inexperienced and I was ready to move forward and he was the one that wanted to take things slow. Also, when he came over to my house I initiated a kiss and we ended up in my bed where we fooled around but didn't have intercourse or oral because he had just come out of the hospital with a pulled ligament.
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