chalanting Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 We have a 6 year old daughter together. She's had some adjustment issues in school (likely because of the break up), so whenever one of us drops her off at school, the dropping parent txts the other one to say how it went, e.g. "Drop off went well", "She had to wait in the gym, she was crying :(", etc. The old pattern was that the non-dropping-off parent would say "thanks" and then maybe ask about the other person's day or whatever - it's kind of the morning ritual. She txt's me this morning, "Drop off went well, hope u have a good day". I saw it before I was fully awake and was wondering if I should reply, I ended up sending "Thanks. have a good day". 1) Is it still business-like to tell someone to have a good day? 2) I know her, she will follow my lead / do what I ask. She cares a lot about my feelings and if I ask her not to txt me at ALL - she won't. I also know that the response I sent will (very likely) not get a response - she's still trying to respect the contact limits I put in place. I'm not going to beat myself up over my half-awake response - but I would like to know if it's too much. I am very involved with my daughter (she lives with each of us half the week) and I want to know how she's doing (and looking for signs of how the split is effecting her). In the future, "thanks" and nothing more is probably better for my version of "NC"
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 As you have recognized, full NC is not advisable due to your child & shared parenting responsibilities. Don't get hung up on the wording. For your daughter's sake you want your EX to have a good day. If the EX is not stressed out, the EX can pay proper attention to the child. Similarly you want the EX to be safe because you don't want your child to deal with the trauma of a parent in ill health. Yes, thanks is better but it's not like you texted I love you or I want you back.
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