Frivolous Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Hey everyone i just joined, happy new year to you all! So, its a new year and that time when life reflections happen etc. My background info is: I'm 27 and have had one serious relationship in my life that lasted nearly 3 years. I was the one who ended it as at the time i didn't feel happy with my own life more than anything and being with her was making it worse. I was single for nearly 2 years and then got into my current relationship. Basically i have been going out with this girl for a few months now after getting with her very quickly. I decided that it had been quite a long time since my last relationship and that i should just ask her out. I did the stupid thing that most guys do and let my penis control my decisions :/ I haven't fell in love with this girl and right now don't feel that its going to last long term. To make matters worse she is a lovely Christian girl who WAS a virgin! :/ I made her aware that i am not very certain about our future over xmas ad left it at that. She sent me a text saying we need to talk so we chatted this morning and basically i am left with an ultimatum, change, or we break up. So i have to get back to her with a decision. Now i just feel like an A hole and especially because i knew from the start that that she was the committed type of person. I just don't feel strong enough to carry on and give her the commitment she deserves. I know i have to man up and tel her how it is and not lead her on. The thing is that i am confused about what i want from life and worry that i am going to reject every girl that i meet, especially as age seems to be making me pickier and i obviously don't want to be a sad lonely old man. Before a ramble on for all eternity, i would appreciate some words of wisdom Thank you!
Lady2163 Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Part of me wants to say, give this girl a chance. Finding quality in a partner the older you get, gets tougher. In four or five years your dating pool will start to consist of divorced, single mothers. What is it about her that makes you NOT want to have a relationship? The other part of me says this can't be forced.
Author Frivolous Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 Thanks for your reply Your first point is my worry, I'm not getting any younger and I know that I want someone who has never been married and doesn't have kids. I met her tonight with the intentions of breaking it off but after talking we're still in the same position :/ she has definitely made me second guess myself as I'm worried that I'm looking for something that doesn't exist. Love is a funny thing after all. So my idea now is to propose a month of dating where I'll make a real effort to see if anything changes. My whole logic says it won't but in the spirit of love (and getting older) ill give it a shot. That is if she agrees anyway. I'd be interested to know people's thoughts on chasing love at 27. Should I seriously be trying to make the effort or is it okay to be single? I know kids are a big factor but be good to know what the current thoughts are as life changes so quickly
almond Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 You're not in love with her. Life is too short to waste in relationships like this. It would be unfair on her to lead her on also. Let her go, and free yourself to find someone that you're truly compatible with. It exists. If you settle, you will both be miserable. It really is the best thing for both of you.
Author Frivolous Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 You're not in love with her. Life is too short to waste in relationships like this. It would be unfair on her to lead her on also. Let her go, and free yourself to find someone that you're truly compatible with. It exists. If you settle, you will both be miserable. It really is the best thing for both of you. Agreed! 3 days into giving it another go has just confirmed my original feelings. It will be heart breaking to reject such a nice, pure and untainted example of a women but it goes to show that love isn't about perfection. Time to jump back on the lonely single band wagon :/
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