amtz Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Hello LS once again I vent to you all!! I have been straight NC with EX for the past 1 month and some weeks! Our 1 year relationship ended do to constant arguments, mutual miss-trust and a heavy BPD by her side! The last month of the relationship was so emotional and psychological taxing for me to say the least... She eventually called it off when I told hey that my work schedule was going to be more demanding do to the holiday season... She when nuts telling me all sorts of non sense basically making me look as the bad guy! It was time to pick up my balls and get the hell as far as possible I could!!! Part of november and MOST of december was so damn emotional do to Christmas and NY I missed her like hell, cried, asked questions to the roof and God, I was a mess to say the least and still feel that I'm in the process of healing... Days are getting better though... I'm digging myself out of hell one day at a time! Last night I went out with some friends nothing crazy just some social drinks and what not... I called a night around 1 AM and called my best girlfriend where she was at. It turned out she was calling it at a night herself and some other mutual friends we have... They were going to stop by and a late night dinner to calm the buzz, I agreed to catch with them and BOOOOMMMM!!! I saw the EX... My blood pressure sky rocketed, it took me like 2 minutes to calm myself and step out of the vehicle.. She was ordering to go or apparently was till my best friend told me "what ever you do, don't look back!" I knew what she was talking about... My EX stepped out of her car and decided to eat inside the restaurant!!! I decided to cancel my order and simply step out of the place period! I grasped some AIR and walked straight out of the joint with my chin up just looking straight to the main entrance where she happened to be sitting purposely since she had the option to sit any where else it wasn't even packed or anything like that!!! I managed to pull myself out that situation and dropped to tears once inside my vehicle!! After pulling myself back together I drove home and turned off the phone and went straight to sleep period!! The light is eventually coming and I do feel more calm than what It used to be... Today was overall an excellent day!! Although last night was a true NUT CHECK!! Did I do the right thing?? I mean as far as stepping out of the place and not even greeting her?? Why the hell did she had to change her mind and eat inside!
broken11 Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 who cares what she think... she obviously wanted to be there as that you are there at the same time. you should have stayed and injured ur night like she was someone you never knew. if she wanted to say hello she would of said hi and all you had to do is show her she has no effect on you anymore and that you have moved on. next time u see her smile and walk away. this will brake her apart. but who cares,, she's an ex for a reason right?
Fufu Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 You are still experiencing the strong after effect of the break up, thus the way you reacted. If you have maintain NC, continue to do so. Everyone heals at a different pace, don't beat yourself hard for the way you react. However, take this reaction as a learning experience on being in check with your emotional well being. Continue to tell yourself she's a past she doesn't represent you at all. You are you that matter most.
Author amtz Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 The reason I decided to step out was do to the fact that I have nothing to proof to that women! Yeah I had the option to stay in place and act as if I was the happiest person on earth, but then again I could of made a fool of myself by over acting! Goshhh the anxiety rush was too much! It upset my stomach so bad!! Now on her side it doesn't make sense if she dumped why on earth would she make herself willingly present as to make sure I saw her? Yeah who cares why did she do it and I know everyone is different.. I know that if I didn't care for my ex it wouldn't matter to me if she saw me or not yet alone made myself visible to her purposely!! Hope I can get more opinions! God bless will pray for you!
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