Sasukie Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Hi guys, I've posted about my break up before and I'm in the process of moving on. I haven't reached the point of indifference yet, I'm working on it. Anyways my question was with regards to what my ex gf said to me: Synopsis: We broke up because the differences of our lifestyle. I am career driven and would rather excel in the things I do whether that is sports, career, or academics. She on the other hand enjoys just partying and spending time with friends although she's failing university. We broke up, a week later I wanted to reconcile. She asked for two weeks to think whether she saw me as a bf or a best friend. After two weeks, we meet up and she acts cold saying that she doesn't love me anymore (seen this case many times with other topics). I smelt smoke on her jacket, something she didn't do while we were dating. This friend of hers is a bad influence and he tells her to smoke cigars/weed and drink for everything. I was disappointed but knew it was over. I held onto hope since I NC'ed. Then came xmas and finally we texted but to organize when I should grab my stuff from her place. This was a month or two after the 2 week break period. I was an idiot and started to regain feelings and wanted to reconcile again and maybe even get back together although I was advised by friends and family she is trashy. (She was extremely nice while we were together). Anyways I go there to pick up my stuff and she tells me that she's fully moved on. I know she means it because she talked to me like I was just a "friend". She disrespected me by being extremely blunt. She had booze on the floor and reverted to the rebelious girl she was before we dated, swearing every sentence and answering that bad "best friend"'s skype call right in front of me, even though she knew I hated him. (We had many fights about him, and he even said I was a guy with many red flags although I had none. I asked her to name some during our first initial argument in the first few months of our relationship and she couldn't say a thing.) She asked me to be her "big brother" although we've done everything from taking each other's viriginity to showering together and sleeping in the same bed for months on end. She said that she does not plan to revisit this chapter or our relationship and she is able to make decisions like this and keep with it. She said she closed the book and put it on the shelf. (She has always not been decisive so this shocked me. Have to say she was tough at that point) She also told me right after breaking up, a classmate I knew about and I spoke to him (he said he had a gf...=____=) started hanging out with my ex a lot after our breakup and during xmas he gave her a gift and he also likes her. I asked her if she was going to date soon and she said yes though she's trying to sort some feelings out. After grabbing my stuff my heart basically died - gave up on trying to reignite the fire. A couple days later my bestfriend who introduced me to her asked me who this guy was, and I found out she took him to her room and the lights were off with only candles. We did that. I feel astonished because the bed we slept on was built by me and her. Her study table was built by me, her chair was also built by me. But she can just easily detach from everything and just bring another guy (the one friend she made in university) into the room where we spent a fantastic year together. My friend was disgusted with how fast she moved on too. I know I'm basically ranting, I guess my question is how steadfast would a statement like "I'm not revisiting the relationship ever" be? Is it for certain and not changeable? Thanks for reading...
Author Sasukie Posted January 13, 2014 Author Posted January 13, 2014 I just wanted to note that my bestfriend is her roommate, renting a floor of a house together.
flitzanu Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Hi guys, My friend was disgusted with how fast she moved on too. I know I'm basically ranting, I guess my question is how steadfast would a statement like "I'm not revisiting the relationship ever" be? Is it for certain and not changeable? Thanks for reading... when someone tells you that they don't want to be with you, and are not going to be with you, it pretty much means "they don't want to be with you". there's no secret hidden meaning to decipher. pay attention to what she's telling you.
Author Sasukie Posted January 13, 2014 Author Posted January 13, 2014 haha ice cold I guess my question was whether there would be any "dumpers" regret in this case. I've read/heard of scenarios where people can rationalize that being with someone else is better (GIGS - sorry if I mis-used the term), and then come back after realizing it wasn't really. when someone tells you that they don't want to be with you, and are not going to be with you, it pretty much means "they don't want to be with you". there's no secret hidden meaning to decipher. pay attention to what she's telling you.
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