URGH...now why is he calling and talking...and crying!

[emotionsmessmeup]

ok...5 yr relationship..20th day or so..

I am the dumpee..

now when i stopped chasing him..he calls and says i miss u...blah blah blah

and when i dont react..he cries..

He left me to date others....coz i was his first love...and he was confused..

I know he is probably talking to these other women..

He goes like..I am here..I know I will come running back to u.

U haev to understand..how will i know u are the best till i dont look around...

this n that right..

all that made em so weak and finally i started partying..etc. etc. made out with a new guy on new years..

and i stopped chasing and expecting him...

and now he calls...

i just dont know wht the hell to do..

he aint asking me back or anything..god knows wht he wants..

I mean I will always have this soft side for him..

and who knows in months to come i might wanan get bck with him..if i realize he is a stronger man..

but i am trying to get out of it..and i cant if he tells me he is missing me..

wht do i do..

[iceisles]

Tell him you want to know what he's thinking. Also tell him that you don't want to talk to him unless he has something of substance to say. It sounds like he is a little emotionally unstable right now and is running to you for support. People like this turn into doormats. If you don't lay it out there for him, you will continue to feel this way.

[LucreziaBorgia]

He fully expects you to be his 'back up plan' in case he can't find anyone else. He also expects that you will wait for him on the sidelines alone like a 'good girl'. He keeps contacting you because he wants to make sure that you are still there for him on the off chance he needs you again.

 

What to do? Check out this guide to No Contact: very wise advice. Hopefully you'll see some helpful suggestions in that thread to help you out in this situation.

[mixwell]

Being the guy in your situation I can say what he is doing. I have broken up with my ex because I thought that I wanted to be single and live the freelife. Well once I found out it wasn't what I thought it was and how much I loved my ex I came back. (same thing yer guy is doing) He does want to see if there is anything out there but he doesn't want to lose you. Seriously I know how much it sucks to dump my chick and then find out how much I really did want to be with her and know that I could have lost her. Sometimes it took me breaking up with her to realize what I had lost. So being a guy I can say that this is why he is acting like this. He is scared of losing you and regrets breaking up with you. Ask him whats going on though and work it out (if you want to). I have gone through this exact problem like 3-4 times so I know what its all about. See as soon as he found out he didn't have you anymore he is panicing. And the fact that you are acting like you don't care gets to him too. If you want to be with him let him know. talk to him about it but be firm and let him know that if this happens again then thats it.

 

Hope this helps.

 

take care

[emotionsmessmeup]

well...when i practice no contact thsi is wht happens...he cries..

and he is like..i am here for u...

this is hopefully just a phase n all..

I mean...I cant be an ass..can i...

i try to avoid him as much as i can..

GOD....yea he is emotionally unstable right now i am sure..

but at the same time..i also know that u can be emotionally unstable for a day..not 3 continous days..

if i give him a smile...he goes like...i can feel its going to be a good day..

I am like jeezzzzzzzz.

and tells his brother...i am the kinda girl a guy should marry..

i dont know wht the hell to do!

then i sent him an email saying u know wht...we dont have a future together we shudnt talk..

and i thought no maybe i should call n talk...

I dont know his intentions...perhaps I am just a backup....

but how do i know and i do i get out of telling him..look i dont want to be a backup...

now i realized wht I really want..

I want a strong man...a man who may go and get attched...but he knows where to draw the line...

and if he shouldnt contact the person..he wudnt..

I need an emotionally strong man...!