Back2WhatUKnow Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 My questions comes from my own experience. I've been in an A with MM for 5yrs there are kids involved with him and her. However 3yrs ago. His W found me on a social site. We got to talking. I found out things that MM would never tell me. She told me a list of problems in their M. I never questioned it. It was weird how I got to know her but in a sense. I found out what was going on between them. He caught us talking and put an end to it. Sometimes I wonder what could she tell me now. Since him and I aren't progressing. No I'm not being like devil's advocate but some reason she opened up to me. It was so weird... However between the time we haven't talked. He's opened up to her about his feelings for me. Even though they still live separate. They seem to stay for their kids. I'am just curious if this has happened to anyone else???
LadyLee Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 wow as a FOW this is unbelievable. One, that she would open up to you. How can you believe anything that she says? Man, how can you believe everything that he says? I get circumstances, but five years is a long time. He sounds like a cake eater. It's a wonder that he didn't want the two of you talking. At the same time, after DDay he stayed with her and still has you? I really don't know what to say, I'm interested to see what the resident people with more experience have to say... L 3
Author Back2WhatUKnow Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 wow as a FOW this is unbelievable. One, that she would open up to you. How can you believe anything that she says? Man, how can you believe everything that he says? I get circumstances, but five years is a long time. He sounds like a cake eater. It's a wonder that he didn't want the two of you talking. At the same time, after DDay he stayed with her and still has you? I really don't know what to say, I'm interested to see what the resident people with more experience have to say... L Trust me i wasn't fully believing but she opened up personal issues that I wouldn't willingly tell. Even when they were going thru counseling. Her story of their problems seemed to line up with his. Well it was my mistake DDay hasn't happened. I misunderstood what DDay was I thought it meant NC. Now I know sorry about that. We have had numerous NC not an actual DDay. Yet he is living seperately and they are still M. This contact with her did happen years ago when they were figuring out what to do. However now it's all stagnate as in him moving on. I am just curious as well if this happened to others??? I applaud you for being a FOW. I need the F before the OW..thanks!
wanting more Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 How did she find you on a social network and start talking to you. Did she know you were having an A with her husband? 2
whichwayisup Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 My questions comes from my own experience. I've been in an A with MM for 5yrs there are kids involved with him and her. However 3yrs ago. His W found me on a social site. We got to talking. I found out things that MM would never tell me. She told me a list of problems in their M. I never questioned it. It was weird how I got to know her but in a sense. I found out what was going on between them. He caught us talking and put an end to it. Sometimes I wonder what could she tell me now. Since him and I aren't progressing. No I'm not being like devil's advocate but some reason she opened up to me. It was so weird... However between the time we haven't talked. He's opened up to her about his feelings for me. Even though they still live separate. They seem to stay for their kids. I'am just curious if this has happened to anyone else??? Did she know that you were having an affair with her husband during the whole time you were 'friends' with her? Seems it was an unhealthy fake friendship with her, one where you gained information about her, him and their marriage, under a false pretense. Okay re-read your latest post, I see they are still together though.. Whatever their reasons are NOT to divorce aren't your business. If your A is over and you're in NC, really do your best to let go and move on. If he wanted to divorce, he'd file. If she wanted to divorce, she'd file. What they are doing is working for them and obviously they're not done with one another. 1
maysapphires Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 I've spoken to BS many times. In person, on the phone, sometimes she would text me. The conversations would range from her screaming and calling me names to her crying wishing we could be friends in another life. BS is very up and down.
ladydesigner Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 I'm a BS who has spoken to the MOW on a few different occasions. One was on Dday and the others were during false r and once after NC. The conversation after their NC I did let OW know about some of the issues we have had, hoping it may make sense in the future as to what kind of man my WH was/is. I understand she may not want to believe it, but I was honest with her. 1
goodyblue Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 No, I never did speak to her. She tried to confront me once, and I ran for the hills. Not out of fear, but because quite honestly, he'd been gone for over a year when the confrontation took place and I felt I had nothing to say that would help her get over it, or move on... do what she needed. I think it's a personal decision and people will do different things, react differently, but for me, it wasn't necessary and I wouldn't have ever talked to her.
cocorico Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I had no reason to speak with her. My Ris with him, not with her. I would have had nothing to say to her during the A. 2
nais Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 i have not spoken and nor do i plan on doing so. its not something i want to listen to at present, it may be a lot of negative towards me or him or both. Perhaps it would be an appeal, not sure what would be said but not a fan of speaking about it.
daretotrustlove Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 WoW, this is not the "Norm" as far as I know. I'm the XOW. He ended it. I always thought that if there was a dday. She would want to know the truth or at the least tell me off, or put it in my face that he was staying. It seems none of that has happened. We are NC for 2 months. I actually did want to talk to her. I wanted her to know that he lied about our R, that if she wanted the other side, I would tell her what she wanted to know. Nothing....So be it. I don't know, it may not be the end yet. It might be to early to tell.
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