MafiaGal4984 Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 OK GUYS AND GALS...I NEED SOME TIPS AND ADVICE...THIS IS A NEW ONE...I'M A 20 YR OLD FEMALE, ALMOST 21...AND I HAVE COMPLETELY FALLEN FOR AN 18 YR OLD...SON OF A FAMILY FRIEND...WHO FORTUNATELY ACTS MY AGE (LAUGH) WE SPENT THE 10 DAYS TOGETHER IN FLORIDA RECENTLY AND WERE INSEPERABLE...BEACHED TOGETHER, TALKED TOGETHER, FLIRTED INCESSANTLY, WALKED TOGETHER ONE NIGHT AND WE TALKED ABOUT 'US' I TOLD HIM THAT I LIKED HIM AND THAT IT WAS HARD FOR ME, WITH THE AGE DIFFERENCE. AND HE RESPONDED WITH "ONE DAY AGE WONT MATTER...WHEN YOU ARE 25 AND I AM 23 ITS NOT GOING TO MATTER...ONCE WE ARE OUT OF HS AND COLLEGE DIVISIONS - NO ONE CARES" WHICH IS WELL TRUE. WE HELD HANDS THAT NIGHT, AND HAD A FEW HOUR + PHONE CONVOS AND DO NOT GO A DAY WITHOUT TALKING IN ANY WAY...EVEN IF IT IS A SHORT CONVERSATION A FEW DAYS AGO HE CAME UP TO VISIT MY BROTHRE AND I AND WAS HIS SAME SELF..HE IS ALWAYS SAYING THE FOLLOWING THO "YOU LOVE ME, YOU LIKE ME, CMON ADMIT IT" BUT I ALWAYS RESPOND WITH SOME SARCASTIC "OH YA, CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU" LINE AND A LAUGH...I DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS ONE. AS IMMATURE AS IT MAY SOUND - DO I SAY, YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU...OR JUST SHOW HIM I LIKE HIM? YESTERDAY I WENT AND WATCHED HIS CLUB TEAM PLAY SOCCER..AND WE WENT TO BREAKFAST WHERE I MET TWO OF HIS BEST GAL PALS...AND HE WAS INCREDIBLE THERE - TOUCHING ME ALL THE TIME, FLIRTING INCESSANTLY, SHARING STORIES AND EVEN ALLOWING "JOINT STORY TELLING" TO OCCUR. THEN HE GAVE ME A CD HE MADE FOR ME AND IS STILL WEARING THE BRACELET I MADE HIM. LAST NITE HE SENT ME A TEXT MESSAGE AND WE ENDED UP TALKING ONLINE FOR AN HOUR...BUT HERE IS THE THING - LATELY WHEN HE IS ALONE, OR AROUND FAMILY AND I AM ON THE PHONE HE IS WIERD...NOT THE SAME GUY AROUND ME OR ME AND HIS FRIENDS...HE IS LESS FLIRTY...MORE HURRIED SOUNDING...IS THIS MAYBE NERVES? HE WANTS ME TO GO TO THIS CONCERT HIS FRIENDS ARE HAVING IN A FEW WEEKS, WHICH WAS EVIDENT BY THE "YOU SHOULD GO, I'LL BE THERE' COMMENT HE MADE...FOLLOWED BY A LAUGH. I LIKE THIS GUY. HE MAKES ME LAUGH, WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON, OUR FAMILIES SEE THE CONNECTION, AND WE BOTH HAVE TOLD ONE ANOTHER WHAT WE LIKE IN THE OTHER PERSON. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS SITUATION? YOU THINK HE IS JUST FEELING IT OUT? I DONT WANT TO RUSH ANYTHING - ESP SINCE ONE OR BOTH OF US COULD GET HURT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG...ALSO WHATS THE BEST WAY TO SHOW THIS GUY I LIKE HIM- I AM CURRENTLY TRYING TO THROUGH MY ACTIONS - IE. .BEING THERE FOR HIS SPORT EVENTS, BUT I ALSO DONT WANT TO BE THE DOORMAT - HE HAS TO SHOW CONTINUAL INTEREST... PLEASE SUPPLY SOME TIPS!! INPUT ON WHAT YOU THINK IS IN HIS HEAD, OR IF I AM GOOD TO GO THANKS PEOPLE!
iceisles Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 I think he is feeling you out. Just take things slow. Hang out with him and you will start to get an idea of where things might be going. Just don't call or e-mail him too much initially - even guys get scared off by that. In the future, don't type in all caps. It's hard to read and gives people headaches.
whitebudda Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 theres only 3 years difference between yall that aint much...its like you are tring to make it hard on yourselves all you got to do is tell him in the worst case he'll say no, if that happens then move on. simple
Author MafiaGal4984 Posted January 10, 2005 Author Posted January 10, 2005 Thanks Iceisles, I'll keep your comment in mind and your "caps" comment
zilverenvlinder Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 Two years is nothing. When I was 18 I dated a 15 year old. You've been ingrained with sexist viewpoints. If you were a 20 year old guy and your girlfriend was 18, this wouldn't even be an issue. But since you're a female, you're having concerns. This is what society has done to people. If you like him then GO for him. Love Adria
iceisles Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 Age in relationships should not matter as long as both are happy and one person isn't knowingly or willingly taking advantage of the other.
Author MafiaGal4984 Posted January 10, 2005 Author Posted January 10, 2005 Originally posted by whitebudda theres only 3 years difference between yall that aint much...its like you are tring to make it hard on yourselves all you got to do is tell him in the worst case he'll say no, if that happens then move on. simple Hey there WHITEBUDDA Yea, we talked about all of that actually - lol. he was not concerned about the age, and he knows I do not really care either...its just a shocker for me...most of my boyfriends in the past have been older or the same age as me. We both admitted that we like one another - its just lately - around me, our families, and friends he's outgoing fun etc...but get him alone - and i can see the indecisiveness in him - he seems rushed, or nervous...any tips?
Author MafiaGal4984 Posted January 10, 2005 Author Posted January 10, 2005 Originally posted by zilverenvlinder If you were a 20 year old guy and your girlfriend was 18, this wouldn't even be an issue. But since you're a female, you're having concerns. Adria, Thanks for seeing my issue - that is exactly it! I think when we first talked i kinda hinted that i was not used to the idea of dating a younger guy..hence why he said once he is in college it wont matter anymore, or when we are both OUT of college it wont be an issue either - its the divisions, you know, high school, college, not incollege, etc...that seem to annoy people - you are right tho - i'm going to go for it... He wants me to show up at his games and go see this concert coming up...but the past 2 days i noticed i have done the calling...should i back off a lil and make him call this next time?
chica Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 Yeah - back off a little, and let him call. I agree that he is feeling you out; be open with him and keep enjoying his company, but keep in mind that it's early days yet. I had a relationship with the same age differences when I was 21 (he was 18). We didn't find the age gap to be a major problem and I liked being with a "younger man" - it kinda became a joke for us. We were together for about 2 years and I would never look back on that and regret it. You'll know about it if and when you think the age IS an issue. embrace those nice flirty, fresh-love feelings and have fun
Author MafiaGal4984 Posted January 11, 2005 Author Posted January 11, 2005 To all who have responded so far- thanks for all your comments Chica, thanks to you too - its nice hearing from someone who was in a relationship like the one i might one day be in...i really like him - he's so much fun to be around and always makes me laugh Hope to continue hearing from you all, and others! Maf
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