cane123 Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Hey everyone, This isn't my first time posting here, however I've made a new account because all that I posted in the past is behind me now- I am no longer having trouble getting over my ex, feeling sad, sorry for myself, etc. Long story short, I spent years focusing on one girl who manipulated me and controlled my feelings for way too long. A little about me- I'm young, in college, and over the past year have finally decided to move forward from my aforementioned ex and started to really try to improve myself in any way possible. This has lead to me being a much happier person, which is a huge turnaround from being depressed for months at a time in the past. I'm posting here because I want to get some stuff off my chest, and I would like some insight. I've realized that I do not need a girl to be happy, and that a girlfriend is like the "icing on the cake" in life, however I've only had one girlfriend so far in life, and really only had strong feelings for this one girl. Regardless, I think about finding an awesome girl to hang out with and share my life with all the time. I know I'm still very young and that I have much time to find my wife. Still, I see my friends coming in and out of relationships with girls, having flings with them, dating them, and it doesn't seem to ever fall into place like that for me like it does for them. I have always been told that I'm a popular and attractive person. I work out and have improved my "build" greatly over the past three years. I've always felt slightly awkward/anxious around new girls, so a few months ago I read a book or two on how to honestly attract and communicate to the opposite sex. This has helped me open up a little bit, but still I'm stuck in a rut with finding a girl who is similar to me, attracted to me, and attractive to me. Sometimes there are girls who are interested in me, but I guess my standards are just too high and there are always things that really don't match up with what I want. I guess I'm just looking for that girl who really "clicks" in my mind after spending some time with her. Someone who makes me feel motivated to reach out to them and make myself vulnerable to them. I've found myself not feeling motivated to go for random/one-time hookups anymore, for they've started to seem meaningless to me. I've been starting to think about my lack of relationships with girls a lot recently, because while I'm still young, I'm not really a kid anymore. I want to have experiences with different women before I get married so that I know exactly what I want. So, any advice/insights would be much appreciated. This post might come off as a little scatterbrained, but it feels good to open up to someone about this. Thanks in advance
Sand Man Dan Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Jesus, if I didn't know any better, I'd say I wrote this myself. I too see my pretty basic, normal friends getting girlfriends, flings, naked snap chats from other girls etc. I find I have no interactions of this nature with women, I'd really love to see some advice on this one!
sagetalk Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I'd really love to see some advice on this one! Flirt with them and don't give a hoot about what they think or your future with them. Be careful though, sometimes you might get what you are asking for.
Author cane123 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 Jesus, if I didn't know any better, I'd say I wrote this myself. I too see my pretty basic, normal friends getting girlfriends, flings, naked snap chats from other girls etc. I find I have no interactions of this nature with women, I'd really love to see some advice on this one! Exactly. Love my friends, but honestly a couple of them are completely undeserving of the attention/love they get from their significant other because of the way they treat them. I often find myself thinking of what I "deserve" and what he "doesn't deserve" regarding the girl that they're with, but I've found that life doesn't exactly work this way.
Shashasha Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Hmm... I would say these sort of things do take time, you obviously have better standards than everyone which is why it is taking you a longer time. I guess it can be frustrating having friends all around you having flings and such, but think about how long such things actually last and whether you would be up for something like that. These things come when you least expect it - so be patient, I am sure it will be worth it
Author cane123 Posted January 13, 2014 Author Posted January 13, 2014 Hmm... I would say these sort of things do take time, you obviously have better standards than everyone which is why it is taking you a longer time. I guess it can be frustrating having friends all around you having flings and such, but think about how long such things actually last and whether you would be up for something like that. These things come when you least expect it - so be patient, I am sure it will be worth it It really is frustrating, but I guess flings are flings because neither person is truly interested in the other. At almost my midpoint through college I'm just frustrated that I haven't had any relationships yet when I was so excited to come to college to meet new girls and have relationships.
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