love_pink Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I hate to admit that yes I begged and pleaded when my bf decided to dump me via text (he's my first and I'm inexperienced so I had no idea what I was really doing). And now I always find myself looking back and feeling embarrassed because of my actions. I know this is slowing down the process of my healing but wow I really can't help but feel like an absolute idiot. But yes I've learned from my mistake and going NC really made me realize what I've done will totally embarrass me for the rest of my life. Never happening again that's for sure.... Will my ex remember my (idiotic) actions towards him forever..? Or will he eventually forgive and forget how I acted? It really bothers me to think that he's probably laughing and joking away with his friends about how stupid I acted. I hope he forgets it and reaches out to me eventually lol
Mondmellonw Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I guess he only took it as an ego boost (a really temporary one). He might laugh about it, but that would show he is just a douche, so... Why would you care? I regret some actions post break up as well.... I felt like I made myself a prank. My ex was cruel and told a lot of mutual friends some lies about me. Anyways, do you really want him back?
malxme Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Ive done the begging, I've done the pleading. I've turned up at their houses and cried my eyes out while trying to convince them to give me another chance. Yes its embarrassing, but its normal. Maybe not for everyone, but for people who feel things in a stronger way than others (myself for example). And try to remember, we're all inexperienced. When you start a new relationship, you don't know the person really. So its all totally new. And there will be times when you do stupid things, or act in a way that you are ashamed of later. It just happens. He'll forget how you acted. Think about something that somebody else did to you that made you angry. You got over it, right? It might piss you off for a few days, but you forget about it pretty quick. I doubt he's laughing about it with his friends, but IF he is, count yourself lucky because that would mean he is a bit of a dickhead you've had a lucky escape! HOORAY! 1
ponchsox Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Don't worry about it. You cared about him and you were vulnerable. One day you will look back on this and chuckle. Breakups make us do funny things. 2
Author love_pink Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 I've been reading around that when a dumpee begs after being dumped, the dumper only finalizes their decision to end it with them forever. I really hate myself for begging and and I'm so angry for making a fool out of myself!!! Maybe if I had kept my mouth shut, things would've worked out.. Ugh I just regret it so much I can't get over it. I'm so ashamed I feel like sending him (the dumper) a message and saying how dumb and embarrassed I am. I'm not actually going to but it's seriously eating me alive!!!!!
Tryingtobegrateful Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I understand how painful it is, the begging part...and you wonder if it is all he will remember you now... As a LDR, We only spent four week with each other as a couple (with breaks distance apart between of course, then one more week post-break up... When I look back, it is always that painful one week how I begged and how cold he was that stuck me...instead of how beautiful those four weeks we were...I wonder if it is the same to him too... 1
polynomial Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Don't worry about it too much. Not everyone can keep their upmost dignity when facing a break up. I know I've humiliated myself a thousand times to my ex.. Do not contact him for whatever reason. By keeping NC you're actually regaining some of your dignity. Show them you can survive without them. Good luck
Fufu Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 What done is done, don't be too hard on yourself. So many of us went through the begging and pleading stage after the break up. And trust me, even if you did not beg or plead, that doesn't mean that he will change his decision.
Trapito Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Hey, you didn't do so bad. You send a couple of texts and had a polite conversation, I have seen way worse. This is nothing, don't sweat it. You didn't yell, scream or stood with a guitar in his back yard singing weepy seranades. You did good kiddo. I have a friend who still sends her ex texts, mails and letters. The break up was in june. Her tone changes from needy and begging, to complete psycho angry (rinse, repeat). This is not the first ex she has done this to. I think she has send over a thousand messages, so you are in the clear. I hope you feel a little bit better by now. 1
Trapito Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Actually, you didn't do so bad. Don't sweat it.
Haydn Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Hey friend. Done this as well! Yes it makes it worse but go NC and you will start to feel better and realise what you did was pretty normal round here! You are not alone. He dumped you so it rally does not matter now. You`ll be ok. But any weak moments then post here! I've been reading around that when a dumpee begs after being dumped, the dumper only finalizes their decision to end it with them forever. I really hate myself for begging and and I'm so angry for making a fool out of myself!!! Maybe if I had kept my mouth shut, things would've worked out.. Ugh I just regret it so much I can't get over it. I'm so ashamed I feel like sending him (the dumper) a message and saying how dumb and embarrassed I am. I'm not actually going to but it's seriously eating me alive!!!!! 1
wildsunandmoon Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Hey, I can truly relate to the sense of regret you are feeling right now. The regret is so deep, it's consuming your thoughts and making analyze every single action you've made in your relationship. The thing is, I wouldn't break your NC to apologize for your behavior because whether you want to accept it or not, how you behaved was a genuine reflection of what you felt was right. You should never have to apologize for acting a certain way. Especially to him. If anything, forgive yourself and learn from your actions so that it isn't repeated the next time you experience a break up (hopefully, you wont!) 2
rosedl Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Don't be so hard on yourself. Almost everyone I know has done something similar in the same situation. I haven't begged in years, but I remember I have done it. Please don't leave, blocking the person from leaving the room. My last boyfriend, I made the mistake of contacting and telling him some bad news I got and expected him to care. Totally crazy. He didn't want to be with me anymore, and he was self involved IN the relationship, I can't imagine why I thought that this would change outside of it. Just made me feel more alone. No contact is hard, but it is a helpful rule.
ilovemefirst Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 No. I had a similar situation. I did everything to try to keep my ex from leaving me. I begged for second and third chances. Next day i felt so bad for how i behaved. I wrote him a short email saying i was sorry for the way i acted and that i wished him the best. He responded back and wished me well too. A few days later i was feeling good that i at least had some closure. He came back texting me to see if i was doing ok. I never responded. He tried again and i continued to ignore. I realized that he had treated me terribly and it was my ego that was hurt more than anything! Think abot that:). Also men smell desperation even if your not showing it. They also smell when we are moving on. Try emailing him to say your sorry and wish him well and move on:). Watch how things change so quickly!
RDawg Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Yes we've all done it.. Shortly after she dumped me I went for the grand gesture: I bought around $200 worth of roses and lined the path leading up to our front door, filled loads of vases with them inside.. had a fire going, cooked her her favourite meal.. read her a two page letter promising to change and even went so far as getting down on the ground and wrapping my arms around her leg begging her not to go.. it was pathetic but quite hilarious in retrospect. She took some of the roses away with her to show her folks! Of course she was flattered. It really doesn't matter.
BOREDouttaMymind Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 hop in that magical time machine with me for 20 seconds. beep beep boop... oh look, we're in the year 2030.. warm summer day... birds are chirping, youre slurping on a... slurpee or something. its a great day..16 years in the future, wow!!! no flying cars??? ... I turn to you and ask you, "hey, do you still care about that guy from long ago?" and you reply with , "hu.. what guy??" we hop in our time machine and POOF! we're back in the present time! ...see my point? what seems meaningful and important in the present... most times is trivial and unimportant in the future. youll see. trust me. 3
Haydn Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Bored the keys to this machine, still under the plant pot near the front door? I`ll have it back before 5. hop in that magical time machine with me for 20 seconds. beep beep boop... oh look, we're in the year 2030.. warm summer day... birds are chirping, youre slurping on a... slurpee or something. its a great day..16 years in the future, wow!!! no flying cars??? ... I turn to you and ask you, "hey, do you still care about that guy from long ago?" and you reply with , "hu.. what guy??" we hop in our time machine and POOF! we're back in the present time! ...see my point? what seems meaningful and important in the present... most times is trivial and unimportant in the future. youll see. trust me.
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