Too much work...

[BikerAccnt]

Did you ever meet anyone that you are intereseted in dating, but it just seem like too much work to so. I mean, they appear interested but just don't make it easy.

 

I've just recently had this experience on OLD and can't decide if I want to pursue this or not.

 

We met on OLD, in early November, messaged and talked on the phone for about 2 weeks, then met for the infamous coffee date. It went well, and even ended with a kiss and an agreement for a second date. This is where things went weird. Later than evening I noticed that she had deactivated her profile. We spoke mid-week and she confirmed the date for Saturday night, explaining also that she de-activated because of too many creeps on that particular site.

 

Anyway, she called Saturday afternoon and asked if we could "postpone" the date because her sister was back in the hospital (she had mentioned a very sick sister on our date). I said sure, no problem, I'd call her later in the week to schedule. Well, I called, straight to voice mail. Waited 2 days, called again, voice mail full. Sent one quick text saying I hope all was ok with her and her sister (my assumption initially was something had happened to her sister) and then just forgot about it. Never heard back from her. I don't want to be "that guy" that doesn't get the message so I just dropped it.

 

So, just after new years, on a different OLD site (yeah, I use 2, I'm a loser I know) I get a message ""Hi Terry, how are you?" I look and notice it's her. Thing is, my name isn't Terry. So I wrote back saying I was fine, and jokingly mentioned that hopefully Terry was too. She said that between her sick sister, the holiday's, and her daughter having a baby (news to me) time had gotten away from her, that's why she didn't contact me. She also told me she thought "I" wasn't that interested in her.

 

To say I was um...confused..would be understating it. Lets see, we had one date, I asked her out again, she cancelled, I called twice and texted. What else was she expecting?

 

I'm thinking this is to much work for this early in the dating scheme of things. I've not messaged her back after that exchange. Part of me would like to go out with her again but, between her not responding to my previous attempts, living 50 minutes awy, writing me (instead of calling) AND calling me the wrong name....perhaps I should just move on? I mean, I realize, especially at my age, that peoples lives are complicated but, comon, returning my text or call and not disappering for 2 mos. wouldn't have been that hard would it?

[d0nnivain]

I suspect at different points in my life I may have been the woman who was just too much trouble / work to date. It happens. Don't worry about it. If it's not coming together easily in the beginning, it probably wasn't meant to be. Stop wasting more energy on it.

[deathandtaxes]

The infamous fade. Exasperating! I wouldn't give this lady a second thought. I am laughing at her calling you the wrong name on a different dating site. Just move along.

 

 

But is anybody ever truly so busy that they can't go out on a date? So somebody's ENTIRE day and night is full of things to do?

[newmoon]

yes, I actually just heard this line last week. that I was 'too much effort to date.' it can mean different things to different men/women, but this guy doesn't have the same income as me, the same ambition, same fitness level (he's overweight), etc. and the way he sees it, he'd have to have his life and body in better order to date me and give me what I need. so, he was giving me a backhanded compliment, but still a rejection, lol. I've found that although they say they will make an effort, most people (men and women) just don't. we are who we are, and you either find someone compatible or not.

[mammasita]

I wouldn't waste any more time on her.....especially if she didn't even remember your name. Sheesh!!