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Where r the good men and y do they like trash


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Posted

I am officially convinced that men r attracted to no-good women. I am always seeing men go after a woman that has no class, has a big booty (the ONLY thing that she has going on for herself), she's mean, shows her goods to the whole world (I'm sure we've all seen these women on social networking sites [ESPECIALLY INSTAGRAM] that post pictures of themselves half naked or even fully naked, etc. I have seen guys that I personally know go for women that are just not worthy. They tell me that there r good guys out there that want a good, loyal woman yet I'm always telling my guy friends/fam "you just proved my point" when I see them chasing after a girl that cheated on them, a girl that treats them like crap, women that r ghetto, etc. I'm not trying to be conceited when I say that I am a VERY good woman that is NOTHING like these females out here: I am a very loyal person especially in a relationship, I'm in school to get my Bachelors degree, employed, own car, own apartment, I'm very nice sweet and honest, I'm classy, I'm very domestic, I'm funny, ambitious, smart, I know I am physically attractive and I've been told by an abundant number of people that I am basically attractive, I am tall, have a very nice petite shape, long legs, people mistake me for a model alllllll the time, carmel complected, I have long thick hair, I have a nice smile, have all my teeth, etc. etc. I mean, u get the picture right? lol I'M NOT TRYING TO BE A NARCISSIST I'm just trying to paint a basic picture of the type of woman I am inside and out only because for some reason I can't get a good man. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Seems like I really have to alter the type of person I am and become a b**** (excuse my French) because it seems like THAT IS WHAT DUDES LIKE.

Where r the good guys at though? If you're married to a good man or in a long-term relationship with a good man, where did u guys meet? I seriously would like to know where I can find a good man or come in contact with a good man that appreciates a good woman. I am getting to the point where I'm considering E-harmony or something similar. Sad but true.

I'm sorry for the rant but I still would like some answers/stimulate discussion about this.

Btw, I'm 28.

Thanks for reading :)

Posted

A sincerely kind and lovely person won't say such derogatory things about others.

 

Perhaps some guys pick up that vibe from you.

  • Like 4
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Posted

What did I say that was so derogatory???????

  • Author
Posted
A sincerely kind and lovely person won't say such derogatory things about others.

 

Perhaps some guys pick up that vibe from you.

 

I have no clue as to what you're claiming as "derogatory" but regardless, I'm speaking facts about "other people."

Posted

It could be that where you are, the demographics makes a difference. Is there a diverse population, dating pool where you are?

 

Unfortunately, many men, an depending upon the demographics of these men, they may be less interested in having a LTR. Men often prefer the easier woman. A woman they can enjoy, have fun with and have a sexual relationship w/o the expectation that there be more. You may be intimidating to these men and they sense, in their minds, too high maintenance. Are the men you are pursuing or have pursued also AS ambitious or put together (I mean in terms of responsibility, not physically)? If not, that answers much of your questions.

 

Perhaps you need to look elsewhere. Why torture yourself doing it the traditional way if you're not finding anything. Online dating is another option and opportunity. I have (did) had very good success with it. My gf now (serious relationship) is from OLD.

 

Good luck.

Posted
What did I say that was so derogatory???????

 

Certainly not flattering, but derogatory, not sure. You'll find other posts by other women who feel the same.

 

I don't know you, so there's I have no clue what kind of person you really are. But, based on your post, I will say that your standards are not being met by the men around you b/c these men do feel they are able to or deem them too high.

Posted

Hello

 

Perhaps because you are a beautiful woman with model appearance men are intimidated by you. You sound as if you have both the looks and the brains, which may intimidate them and make them feel like you are out of their league, also I imagine they probably already think you have a bf. I mean it is probably a strange assumption to make but I would if I see a female with model-looks.

 

Also men go for the 'slutty' girls because they are outgoing and easy to get. My ex went for one. She posted a bikini pic of herself online. Her posing in her bikini! Not like she was taking photos of the scenery, to get 'likes' from guys. I'm thinking, he thinks this is confidence (he said he was sick of women with low self-esteem and depressed women etc.) but really it's the opposite of confidence to have to feel you need to post tons of pictures of yourself in selfies and practically naked to have others say you're beautiful. I also think she is a narcissist tags her photos with 'cute' 'pretty' etc.

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Posted
I have no clue as to what you're claiming as "derogatory" but regardless, I'm speaking facts about "other people."

 

I agree. I didn't see derogatory. I see frustrated with dating.

 

Describe the type of men you are trying to date here. What part of the country? What socioeconomic level? What culture or subculture?

 

These things really matter because in some situations an educated classy woman is literally going to be a turnoff for certain groups of men.

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Posted
I am officially convinced that men r attracted to no-good women. I am always seeing men go after a woman that has no class

 

I constantly see women do this as well. I think people are just terrible at dating and choosing mates in general. You just keep looking until you find extraordinary instead of ordinary.

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Posted

You answered your own question within the first two sentences. Nice booties.

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Posted

Sorry OP but I see a few derogatory remarks in there. I have quoted them below.

 

It's a bit like when you go out for dinner with a man and notice how he behaves with others around him. If he is rude and sharp with the waiter it puts me off.

 

It' human behaviour to judge people but they do say if you cannot say something nice say nothing at all.

 

 

trash

 

no-good women

 

a woman that has no class

 

has a big booty (the ONLY thing that she has going on for herself)

 

she's mean

 

women that are just not worthy.

 

women that r ghetto

 

 

What I am saying is that if you 'air' these kind of comments people may be put off by them- as in men/anyone may pick upon them and not see such a pleasant person shining through.

Posted

The answer is simple, those women aggressively go after men while you sit back and wait for a man to go after you. It's not that they all prefer women like that but those are the only women that show interest in them (and of course they are going to try for the best).

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Posted

I think you have been flogged enough so I will answer your Q.

 

 

Good men are not generally on free dating sights. Social media (& media in general) is visual. Therefore the sexy pictures work there.

 

 

Good men are not there. I met a few on e-harmony. Although I didn't meet the love of my life there, every man I interacted with had a good job, was intelligent, had varied interests & seemed like a genuinely nice guy. When I selected e-harmony to try OLD I did so expressly because it was the most expensive site out there & filling out that questionnaire was a p.i.t.a. I assume, correctly, I think that anybody willing to go through all of that was serious. I didn't encounter a single man who only wanted a fling.

 

 

You also have to mix up where / how you try to meet men. I met my husband at a business networking event. We were both there trying to drum up new business but we changed our lives instead. Try joining a group that does something you care about. Tell friends & family that you are open to being introduced to new people.

 

 

Stop comparing yourself to these other women. Let them to whatever they are going to do. Some men will always chase that but clearly he's not the guy for you.

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Posted

So, I lose track of these things. What man is going to come in here and say "you're probably friendzoning the good men."

 

Is it my turn or does somebody else have it covered?

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Posted

Is it my turn or does somebody else have it covered?

 

I've got this one.

 

OP, you're probably friendzoning the good men and chasing after the bad ones.

  • Like 3
Posted
I've got this one.

 

OP, you're probably friendzoning the good men and chasing after the bad ones.

 

Funny as hell, but I can't tell if we are satirizing our more grey posters or if we are giving her advice we all know is true, pops up in every thread like this, but hasn't been said yet. Perhaps both?

 

Either way, funny as hell.

  • Like 1
Posted

Just wanted to add, I know this thread says that a lot of good men are going for bad women out there, but really there is also a lot of good women going out with bad men out there -most people have experienced it here, as we are sharing our experiences and confusion with dating.

 

But it may just be that we're just all setting our sights out too high. I find that most of the good men and good women aren't the whole package, they aren't the one's that you would go for normally physically but I wouldn't say that they are physically unattractive, and I'm not trying to generalise here there are of course a lot of people that do not fit into this category.

 

I have also found that the really attractive men end up as A*holes and they act as if they are above you , they are the ones that go for the really attractive girls who tend to be (and not all) really up themselves also and act the same way.

 

Really maybe we should give people more chances and see how it plays out.

  • Like 1
Posted

That's how I love my women.

 

Nice and trashy.

 

 

Turns me on like nothing else. Unf!

Posted
That's how I love my women.

 

Nice and trashy.

 

 

Turns me on like nothing else. Unf!

 

You go to UNF? There is some real trash there. Most of it comes from families with money too!

Posted

So you're on social networking sites like IG, judging women, calling them trash and ghetto because of what they choose to wear or not wear in their photos and get all the attention from the type of men that you want?

  • Like 1
Posted
So you're on social networking sites like IG, judging women, calling them trash and ghetto because of what they choose to wear or not wear in their photos and get all the attention from the type of men that you want?

 

I know it's funny how successful so called Trash does in the dating world isn't it? I bet more people would like to be said Trash.:laugh:

  • Like 3
Posted
I know it's funny how successful so called Trash does in the dating world isn't it? I bet more people would like to be said Trash.:laugh:

 

I'd love to be trash in this day and age.

 

But I can't, it's against my nature

Posted
I know it's funny how successful so called Trash does in the dating world isn't it? I bet more people would like to be said Trash.:laugh:

 

lol..oh yes.

 

I say let's just call it for what it is: They're getting the attention you want, OP.

 

You know how you girls get. ;):cool:

Posted

Did someone dump you or what? :)

Why so much frustration? :)

Count the blessings in your life... and feel instantly better...

 

Now...

 

If you are a good woman.. then great! Why are you even thinking about the "trashy" women? Do you want the kind of attention they get? Do you think a decent guy would ever fall in LOVE with such a gal? The guys who are going after them are NOT the type of guy you are looking for. So it's for your own benefit only not to get involved with such guys.

 

Live your amazing life... keep on meeting guys - IRL, OLD (paid, free) - keep all options open and think positive.

 

Just remember the one who is made for you, will come to you... sooner or later... :) But only when you face some hurdles on the way to him... you will truly appreciate him when you meet him :) Each and every bad guy is one step nearer to your man :)

 

Believe there are good guys out there... struggling to find a girl like you...

Be patient meanwhile...

 

Good Luck.

  • Like 2
Posted
Just wanted to add, I know this thread says that a lot of good men are going for bad women out there, but really there is also a lot of good women going out with bad men out there -most people have experienced it here, as we are sharing our experiences and confusion with dating.

 

But it may just be that we're just all setting our sights out too high. I find that most of the good men and good women aren't the whole package, they aren't the one's that you would go for normally physically but I wouldn't say that they are physically unattractive, and I'm not trying to generalise here there are of course a lot of people that do not fit into this category.

 

I have also found that the really attractive men end up as A*holes and they act as if they are above you , they are the ones that go for the really attractive girls who tend to be (and not all) really up themselves also and act the same way.

 

Really maybe we should give people more chances and see how it plays out.

 

All true and valid points.

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