margot13 Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I recieved an apology from my ex last night. It was a nice apology in which he stated that I did not deserve his bad behaviour during the break up and that he was very sorry for that. There was no attempt to continue contact, just an apology. Is it strange that I am impressed? I don't need to question the message with him any further. But I did appreciate it. Or am I a sucker????? 1
hurts2death Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 stay nc. you are from the lucky ones. many of us wish for an apology in the pain we live. stay nc.
Author margot13 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 stay nc. you are from the lucky ones. many of us wish for an apology in the pain we live. stay nc. I will stay NC, but strangely I appreciated it and thought it was good to see he had self reflection after all. Even though we can never work. Sometimes it's nice to see signs of the person you once knew if only to justify to yourself that you weren't crazy for falling in love with them. 1
Sugarkane Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 It's rare to ever get an apology because it's too easy to be a coward. Do you have mutual friends? This seems to make a difference.
Author margot13 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 It's rare to ever get an apology because it's too easy to be a coward. Do you have mutual friends? This seems to make a difference. No we don't really, actually I am an Australian living in Amsterdam. So there isn't much of my past to connect to his. He has his friends, and I have mine.
Sugarkane Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I envy you, I've never gotten a sincere one fro an Ahole ex before. 1
herself Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Hate to say often an apology is their way of relieving guilt and making them feel they are still the good guy. Since he asks no questions, he said what he needed to say, you dont have to help him feel better, he SHOULD feel sorry and let it rest. He can now wonder how you feel as he is right, he should have realized you didnt deserve it before he treated you that way. He could even be trying to guage if your still around...like if he left it on goid terms, when his next relationship or booty call falls through, he feels he left himself an opening to walk back into your life. Silence speaks VOLUMES. No contact. Be sorry all you want Mr. Ex, sorry you dont have the girl who loved & stood by you cause you messed up. Now she moved ON. Stay STRONG. Nc nc nc
Author margot13 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 Hate to say often an apology is their way of relieving guilt and making them feel they are still the good guy. Since he asks no questions, he said what he needed to say, you dont have to help him feel better, he SHOULD feel sorry and let it rest. He can now wonder how you feel as he is right, he should have realized you didnt deserve it before he treated you that way. He could even be trying to guage if your still around...like if he left it on goid terms, when his next relationship or booty call falls through, he feels he left himself an opening to walk back into your life. Silence speaks VOLUMES. No contact. Be sorry all you want Mr. Ex, sorry you dont have the girl who loved & stood by you cause you messed up. Now she moved ON. Stay STRONG. Nc nc nc I actually decided I wasn't going to analyze why he did it. But appreciate that he did. We will never work and we both know that. And neither of us are in new relationships. We both have children so that limits that re-bound/booty call behaviour :-).
hurts2death Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 it is justice indeed. true justice though commes in the end. dont rush on it//// 1
2fargone Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I actually decided I wasn't going to analyze why he did it. But appreciate that he did. We will never work and we both know that. And neither of us are in new relationships. We both have children so that limits that re-bound/booty call behaviour :-). Good approach. Best approach even IMO. Nice of him to apologise, and that's just what it is. An apology. 1
polynomial Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 My ex kept apologising when he broke up with me. Strangely though it made things worse, because if you're really THAT sorry, why are we breaking up? lol
Monopoly Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I envy you, I've never gotten a sincere one fro an Ahole ex before. Same here. It's been more than a year since she dumped me and I never got one, not even a reason for the dumping. Even though I learned now to have no expectations when it comes to my ex, I do wonder how I'd react.
Author margot13 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 Same here. It's been more than a year since she dumped me and I never got one, not even a reason for the dumping. Even though I learned now to have no expectations when it comes to my ex, I do wonder how I'd react. I think the thing is don't react!!! I just am accepting it for what it is an apology. And if I do react it will probably start the whole mess again...
2fargone Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I think there is a difference for apologizing over behaviour while/after breaking up, apologizing for behaviour in the relationship (wich let to the breakup), and apologizing for the breakup. In this case it was for behaviour after/during the breakup, as clearly stated. 1
Allumere Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I understand completely as I just got an apology. I understand the opinion that most of the time it is about the other person and about their guilt....and I think that is fine. If that guilt prompted them to take action (most of the time people talk about feeling guilty and don't do squat...so then it is useless) in the form of reflection and apology I will listen. For me getting an apology lifted a heavy burden and provided some peace. 1
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