5 months after he broke up with me, and I still care about him?

[kat1012]

My boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me 5 months ago. He said "we are comfortable but it doesnt mean it's gonna go anywhere." He said he has been thinking about it for a few weeks and I was getting obsessed with the relationship. I don't feel sad anymore, though I sometimes think it's my fault or things I did that led him to break up with me, I am much better now.

 

We are friendly with each other, we've met once one month after the BU, since I wanted to get my stuff back and he suggested getting a drink. Afterwards, we have been friendly with each other, just some happy birthday msg, festival greetings, and sometimes ask the other about where to get some stuff etc. We've bumped into each other on the street, I was with my friend and it was a bit awkward.

 

Recently starting from a month ago, we sometimes would be in the same events. At first, we just "hi" each other, and then barely talked for the rest of the night. Then he started talking to me a bit more since I still felt awkward starting conversation with him. During the NYE, I texted him happy new year and he told me he got a cut on his face which he needed stitches and he was freaking out very badly, kept asking me what to do w the wound, whether it's gonna scar. (since I study medicine). He even asked if he could call me and ask me questions about it the morning, I was like okay and he did. We mainly talked about his cut and we caught up a bit about each other's NYE celebration. For the next couple of days until he could get his stitches off, he texted me everyday asking all sorts of questions about his cut (actually the cut is not that bad), and I did reply his every msg (when I don't know the answer, I would actually do some serious searching for it). He would ask me about my studies, and when he freaked out abt scarring, I would try to cheer him up. We were at the same event again last week, we talked but usually in the presence of other people attending the same event. We were the only ones taking the same train home afterwards, and we talked the whole time, mainly him asking me about my daily lives and studies.

 

I realized I still care about him (I wouldnt be that patient with his constant texting me asking me the same questions again and again, and he could actually google the stuff himself). But I think he's moved on. He's the one that left and he said he's been thinking for a few weeks. And we havent texted each other after he got his stitches off. I feel like I am probably just his doormat, but then somehow I still care about him? And sometimes since we now sorta able to get along when we are at the same place, it got me wonder how did our relationship go wrong in the first place? what has happened? is it really because of me "talking" about a problem in the relationship I had, which didnt go well, and 2-3 bickerings I did when we were texting?

 

Do people still care about their ex? either you left them or they left you?

[espinoza0]

I am not a relationship expert, but I was in a 15 year relationship (first love then marriage then divorce), and lately I broke up with my 1 year long distance boyfriend.

 

We just broke up on new year's eve, and initially it is devastating. However, from what I read in your post, he seems a bit "unfinished" of a character, either that or is more on the self-centered side.

 

I think you deserve better. Chatting up with you as someone who is comfortable to talk to is something, and someone who loves you to the core and lifts you up and puts in serious effort for your happiness is something completely different.

 

I would say let him go and focus on your studies. You sound like a woman with the right combination of logic and feelings, keep being balanced.

 

Good luck.

[melell]

Hmmm I don't think people still care about their exes after a certain amount of time, at least not anymore than they would care about an old friend.

 

The relationship obviously meant a lot to you, for whatever reasons, and that is completely fine and normal. But when someone else doesn't feel the same it is really important to separate yourself from that person (ie no contact), until that person doesn't matter anymore.

 

Unrequited love is not worth the energy, staying in contact while you still feel this way really isn't a very nice thing to do to yourself!