fieldmarshal Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Hello I really need some advice on how to proceed with my co worker whom I am very interested in. Story goes.. I was actually dating another coworker when the girl I am now interested in (we'll say new girl) was hired. I always thought she was attractive but was happy with my relationship so didn't express any interest. I have now been out of my past relationship for months and was actually asked out by "new girl" about a month ago to go to church. I of course said yes and we went together that weekend! Had a great time and told her I'd love to hang out and get to know her better, to which she replied yes. A couple days later I sent her a text to set up a date and she said she'd love to but wanted to let me know she wasn't looking for a relationship and didn't want to date coworkers. I told her that was my intention, to see where it could go but that I would respect it. She said that's great, told me I'm a very good looking guy and seem like an amazing person but that she didn't want to ruin our work relationship. I should also note she had relationship issues in the past with another coworker at work who I am friends with. Also want to add that before she sent me that text she said she wondered why such a good looking guy like me was doing with a girl like that (referring to my past relationship) I kind of completely backed off, didn't see her for awhile over the holidays but last week I decided to text her and said lets hang out, I could use a hiking partner. She was very excited and we went on a long hike, had about 4-5 hours to talk. I got to know her a lot and found out that we have a lot in common. I'm just confused because it only seemed friendly, although we were very inquisitive and never ran out of topics to talk about (family, future, leisure, beliefs etc.) I need to also mention she was thinking about moving earlier but moved forward with a great career prospect and is now at least staying another 6 months for school while she continues the hiring process for a new job. I really don't know how to move forward with this. She's an absolutely amazing person and I really enjoyed getting to know her. Problem is I don't know her level of interest. I think it's a difficult situation for several reasons (I'm friends with a guy she had issues with and I dated a girl who does not have the moral character that she has)...Is she just taking it slow because of those things and because her future here is somewhat uncertain? She's going to be leaving for a week, it's her bday. What should I do? Should I try asking her out again when she get's back, perhaps for lunch or dinner? Should I get her something for her bday? I am hoping our recent outing stirred more interest in her for me because honestly we have a lot in common...I'm just cautious because of the first text she sent me about a month ago about not looking for a relationship and with a coworker, however it seems different since she's staying and we found some more commonality. Don't want to blow this, she's a great catch, what should I do?!
GemmaUK Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 what should I do?! Pay attention to this: A couple days later I sent her a text to set up a date and she said she'd love to but wanted to let me know she wasn't looking for a relationship and didn't want to date coworkers.
soccerrprp Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 She seems cautious about dating someone from her work. She's smart. She's already been stung by doing it and it became and remains awkward. I would take her lead on this, OP. You should have the same philosophy. You already have one ex in the work that may or may not be making things at least a little uncomfortable or awkward.
Author fieldmarshal Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 Thinking that is the best thing as well soccer. She actually said she wants to go on a hike again when she comes back so at least that's good. Just don't want to be friend zoned, but all good relationships start out this way yeah? Do you have any suggestions for me to avoid this?
Recommended Posts