How can you attract women while talking to then if you're visibly nervous?

[Sand Man Dan]

It seems like when I talk to a girl I'm attracted to (scumbag brain), I get visibly nervous, and don't portray my true colors. It's like I'm physically unable to control my fight or flight and it ends up turning them off.

 

Then you hear of stories where someone, when they approached their future bf or gf for the first time, was "so nervous they were shaking" etc.

 

If you were that nervous how did you possibly come across in an appealing manner?

[Thegreatestthing]

Just have some vodka

 

It seems like when I talk to a girl I'm attracted to (scumbag brain), I get visibly nervous, and don't portray my true colors. It's like I'm physically unable to control my fight or flight and it ends up turning them off.

 

Then you hear of stories where someone, when they approached their future bf or gf for the first time, was "so nervous they were shaking" etc.

 

If you were that nervous how did you possibly come across in an appealing manner?

[Sand Man Dan]

Don't really drink and that barely helps oddly enough.

[SYLLPalmer]

It seems like when I talk to a girl I'm attracted to (scumbag brain), I get visibly nervous, and don't portray my true colors. It's like I'm physically unable to control my fight or flight and it ends up turning them off.

 

Then you hear of stories where someone, when they approached their future bf or gf for the first time, was "so nervous they were shaking" etc.

 

If you were that nervous how did you possibly come across in an appealing manner?

 

Talk to your doctor about a prescription for propranolol. Of course I can offer you no medical advice but I am aware that this drug blocks many of the symptoms of anxiety. It is prescribed for stage fright.

[Weezy1973]

And if you don't want to go the medication route, just talk to them even if you are visibly nervous. And keep talking to them. Your body can only maintain that heightened anxiety for so long (about 15 mins) so you will naturally relax after awhile. And the more attractive women you talk to, the more your body will get used to it.

 

Remember, they're just people.

[sagetalk]

When I talk to women I like, my face usually turns red. I cannot control it. I had no idea until one of my friends told me. The good thing is, it's obvious to them that I like them. I think it has served me well. If a girl sees your nervous, it's a sign that you like her. If she's good for you, she will like it.

[blueskyday]

I always think it's sweet when I see a guy is visibly nervous. It means he likes me, and isn't some smooth player!

 

Just keep talking with her. Take the lead and ask her out or to continue conversation over coffee. I think the biggest mistake shy guys make is to fail to seal the deal. It's courageous for a shy guy to ask someone out. We women know that and appreciate it! And if a woman doesn't, then you will have tried! Still a win. It's all good practice.

 

If having a conversation is hard, then focus on things in your environment. At a bookstore? Comment on the books. Ask her what she is reading. What does she like about it? Ask for her help in picking out a book. Tell her what kinds of books you like and why.

 

Whenever I'm nervous, I ask questions and focus on the other person. Then I share something about myself. I get red in the face, too! Most guys find it adorable, endearing. I'm sure women feel the same about you when that happens!

 

You sound wonderful! The right woman will think you are appealing, as is!

Edited January 12, 2014 by blueskyday

[regine_phalange]

I love it - it's adorable.

[WrinkledForehead]

Do you think you've enough confidence to own your nervousness? As in, love yourself despite of your flaws, point them out before someone else can.

 

If you sweat when you're nervous or shake, point it out in a way that makes it known, but laugh at yourself for it mid conversation: "sorry I'm shaky! I'm not sure if its the coffee I just had or the predictable side effect of talking to a pretty woman!" And then move on in the conversation.

 

Its worth a shot! Best~ WF

[planb1973]

I have had the same nervous problem in the past, still do some times, and have found a new method that is working for me.

 

While walking to meet a woman I first tell myself that I am a catch, women like me, that they are just as nervous as I am, and that I will do my best to make them feel comfortable.

 

Then I tell myself that there is no way this is going anywhere and that it is just for fun. Just an opportunity to meet someone new.

 

Thus I go into a date with confidence and no expectations. And guess what it is working. Too good I must add.

[Sand Man Dan]

Nice replies everybody. I appreciate them.

 

I guess I'm assuming you've gotta impress them in some way or something..idk I'm always my own worst critic.