wildsunandmoon Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 How long should it take for you to overcome the long nights of waking up in the middle of your sleep and experiencing tears every day? I can't seem to shake off these overwhelming moments to cry whenever I am alone. There's something my brain always wanders back to, a memory or a feeling, and I find myself crying. This breakup has taken a toll on me emotionally. I feel tired all the time. I've been eating unhealthy. I'm not performing well at work. I just feel empty. How long is it going to take for me to get over these feelings? It's been 4 months and I highly doubt he's going to come back now.
JDPT Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Be gentle with yourself, you are just scratching the surface of this. There is no need to rush this process, take it as it comes. Reroute your thoughts when you have memories of the past. Internalize the facts very objectively as to why you two are no longer together and see reality for what it truly is, do not sugar coat. Surround yourself with positive people, family and true friends will always provide objective and positive criticism. Once again don't be so hard on yourself. The time will come when you will once again get a good night sleep and will start to focus on what truly matters. However, remember that you have to proactively contribute towards recovery no one else will do it but YOU. 3
CaliBabe Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 This is totally normal at first but you have to decide for yourself at what point are going to allow this to keep happening. You are in control of your life. Really put in effort into making yourself feel good. Work out, go with friends, pamper yourself, go to yoga, shop, comedy show, anything! If you keep your mind busy and really take care of yourself you will feel happier sooner. Grieving is normal but you can change the way you feel and look at things with a positive attitude. My thoughts are with you. 1
ponchsox Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Take it one day at a time. You are feeling normal painful emotions and I empathize with you. It does get better. 2
notthathard Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Everyone is different but I found the more I let it out the better it got. 1
Shashasha Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 You are not alone. Broke up in April and i still think of him everyday. I dont cry everyday anymore but it still pains me so much when i think of him. You really have to chin up and yes, take it easy on tourself. I know how tiring and emotionally exhausting it can be to keep crying everyday but you should help yourself - get out of the house, surround tourself with people who love you and will understand you and try not to spend time alone. You can only help yourself. It will get worse before it gets better. Hugs xx
futureswimmer Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Op, you are in control of your happiness... One thing that helped me , was to talk about it to people. Once I started talking about it to friends and family, I got tired of hearing it myself. And it made me reflect how I'm telling the same story, with the same emotions from weeks ago. That made me see, that within weeks not one ounce of me has progressed. I'm still living in the past. I'm 1 month of a BU. And I'm hurting as well as you. Tomorrow will be the day our marriage license expires. Which I know I will be a little emotional. But I'm human. Take care of yourself. .... hugs
FnlyFrei Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 In addition to it being normal to mourn, maybe you need to talk to a counselor? Sometimes when a person goes through too much, depression can kick in...and seem to shroud you and you can't seem to shake it on your own. Take care of yourself, eat right, get to the gym...the body and the brain are interconnected. Talking to friends, concentrating on a hobby or work and keeping your brain busy helps too...and this forum helps as well.
Author wildsunandmoon Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 In addition to it being normal to mourn, maybe you need to talk to a counselor? Sometimes when a person goes through too much, depression can kick in...and seem to shroud you and you can't seem to shake it on your own. Take care of yourself, eat right, get to the gym...the body and the brain are interconnected. Talking to friends, concentrating on a hobby or work and keeping your brain busy helps too...and this forum helps as well. Yes, I definitely agree. Speaking to a professional about it might help me more because I can't seem to get a hold of myself and be in control of my depression. This depression is unyielding to my own efforts, so I think I need to see someone who can tame it. I am starting to see one. I had one session with her so far bI have an obsessive behavior about it which is frightening to me because I feel like I'm turning into a person I would normally despise.
Author wildsunandmoon Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 Op, you are in control of your happiness... One thing that helped me , was to talk about it to people. Once I started talking about it to friends and family, I got tired of hearing it myself. And it made me reflect how I'm telling the same story, with the same emotions from weeks ago. That made me see, that within weeks not one ounce of me has progressed. I'm still living in the past. I'm 1 month of a BU. And I'm hurting as well as you. Tomorrow will be the day our marriage license expires. Which I know I will be a little emotional. But I'm human. Take care of yourself. .... hugs I'm sorry about your marriage. My heart goes out to you. I have taken up your advice before but I'm afraid it's getting to the point where I am talking off their ears with all of this.
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