what_a_blonde Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 (edited) This guy and I were friends for a long time before we became intimate. I know he was attracted to me. He professed his love for me one night... and while at first I was taken back by it and kind of in disbelief, eventually after a few months I came to like the idea of the two of us "dating". Only thing is he failed to tell me was that when I finally decided it would be right, he had "changed his mind". He didn't tell me until a couple months in, when we had already been intimate with eachother a few times, that he wanted this to just be "two friends having fun". Since then, my confidence has taken a hard hit. For the most part, I've always been fairly confident in myself but lately I can't stop comparing myself to the girls that I know he hangs out with alot (and also calls them "friends"... because my goodness, if he considered me only a "friend" while we were doing what we were, I can't imagine what they are doing.) I also can't help but look at his ex (who he had recently broke up with after 4-5 years relationship, prior to me and him becoming intimate). Crazy thing is that these couple of girls that I know he has things for are all also fairly similar, and I also fit the bill. (Long, blonde hair, average/ athletic builds..etc, except they're a little more "rough" around the edges.. i.e. beer drinking "outdoorsy", while I don't like beer and am not as rugged lol), but I still can't help but feel inadequate. I deleted him from facebook and try to minimize contact with him, but sadly that hasn't stopped me from going back and looking at these girls occassionally. Wondering what it is about me that made him not want to be with me? He's also on match.com still... even after he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship but just for friends. (I'm guessing he's only on there looking for women to sleep with). Anyway, any advice would be helpful. Edited January 11, 2014 by what_a_blonde
TaraMaiden Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 He used you. He's a player, and a dirty one, at that. he just draws girls in for what he can get, and he really doesn't care about the emotional side of things. Work on your self-esteem, and quit thinking there's something wrong with you. There is absolutely NOTHING - ZIP - NADA - ZILCH - NIENTE - wrong with you. There is a shedload of crap wrong with him. 2
AnnaAnna Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 He just got out of long term relationship and it sounds like he just wants to have fun right now. It's time for you to move on. 1
darkmoon Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 do not concern yourself with his bachelor ways, it is getting you nowhere, I am sorry he let you down, but you need to plan a different tomorrow than a repeat of yesterday, looking at his facebook postings over and over is probably making you scowl, no good, leave him to it and make better plans for tomorrow 1
Author what_a_blonde Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 He used you. He's a player, and a dirty one, at that. he just draws girls in for what he can get, and he really doesn't care about the emotional side of things. Work on your self-esteem, and quit thinking there's something wrong with you. There is absolutely NOTHING - ZIP - NADA - ZILCH - NIENTE - wrong with you. There is a shedload of crap wrong with him. Thanks. Agree on the self esteem part. It's so crazy how one person's actions (who really should not matter in the grand scheme of things), has so much power over one's thoughts, feelings, and self-image. I'm going to look at some books on Amazon to help with rebuilding that esteem.. Hopefully there's some good stuff.
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