Bishop556 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I am still recovering from a break up that occurred nearly two months ago, but for some reason, even though I feel isolated at times, I feel perfectly content with myself. I feel happy knowing that I am a strong, independent, intelligent young man that does not need someone to make them feel like a special butterfly, as true worth comes from within. I am not planning on seeing anyone tonight, and while that may be depressing to some, I feel happy knowing that the only company I truly need is myself. I want to thank everyone who helped me recover from a dark, harsh moment of my life. While I do not know any of you personally, you all helped me realize that I am a person of great worth. I now know I can lift my head high and face life head on. Who knows, I am planning on studying in a coffee shop later tonight, maybe I'll run into my next love interest by accident someday. 3
pickflicker Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 There's nothing wrong with enjoying your own company. 3
Simon Phoenix Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I've always found peace in solitude. I do enjoy the company of others, but I'd much rather be single than be in a relationship that was unfulfilling. If anything, I've strove in my life to be single and unfettered -- it takes a lot for someone to break that down. 4
rosedl Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Two months into a heartbreak wouldn't be uncommon to be not interested in dating. I have done both. Run into dating again and other times, just idle. This time, I am too exhausted to date. I have no excitement about meeting new people. I am not over my ex as I really thought he was the guy I had waited all my life to meet. I am in my early 40s and have had enough I want my ex back. I don't think that is going to happen, nor am I going to contact him to try to make it happen. But, it would be my choice. I am watching one of my friends date all over the place. She is NOT over her estranged husband at all (she still talks about reconciling with him in a few years) yet she is out with all these different guys. Watching her makes me want to take a nap. I have done that type of thing myself, so I know what drives it. Usually, misery and fear. Not wanting to sit with the pain. Not wanting to face the fear of being alone. Going out and getting attention feels better then sitting alone and feeling it, but if you don't, you get into so much trouble with the problems you create running from it. I would sum up my state as tired. Healthier not to do anything right now, but it isn't out of some huge healthy place. I'm jaded and tired! 2
TaraMaiden Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 (edited) Bishop556, You've cracked it. Knowing the difference between 'Alone' and 'Lonely'. Good for you. Edited January 11, 2014 by TaraMaiden 5
what_a_blonde Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I am still recovering from a break up that occurred nearly two months ago, but for some reason, even though I feel isolated at times, I feel perfectly content with myself. I feel happy knowing that I am a strong, independent, intelligent young man that does not need someone to make them feel like a special butterfly, as true worth comes from within. I am not planning on seeing anyone tonight, and while that may be depressing to some, I feel happy knowing that the only company I truly need is myself. I want to thank everyone who helped me recover from a dark, harsh moment of my life. While I do not know any of you personally, you all helped me realize that I am a person of great worth. I now know I can lift my head high and face life head on. Who knows, I am planning on studying in a coffee shop later tonight, maybe I'll run into my next love interest by accident someday. This is great to hear! I think many people search and long for this type of contentment, and for you to receive it only 2 months after a break up.. you're doing good. My only curiousity is this.... does this contentment mean you're also not interested in dating at all? So, say if a woman came along that you got along with real well and were attracted to, are you still in a state of wanting to be alone and enjoy "you-time" that you wouldn't even be interested in pursuing anything? I ask because I know that can be common too. Where people are just so "done" with relationships that they won't even entertain the thought. They just want to "play around" for a while. 2
Author Bishop556 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 I am interested in dating, but I know it is probably not healthy at this moment in time. If the moment does arise, I will act on it, but I am not actively pursuing a relationship. 1
ponchsox Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. When you very happy with yourself is when someone unexpected will come into your life. 1
Mariposa10 Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 After feeling like crap for months. I finally feel like this. I had felt like this before my LTR, so it wasn't a surprise.
mantlefan Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 After feeling like crap for months. I finally feel like this. I had felt like this before my LTR, so it wasn't a surprise. Yeah, I had no idea what it felt like to be lonely until after my ex dumped me after a 5 year RS.
Shashasha Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 This is so inspiring!! i want to be like you!
MrMeh Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I'm pretty much the same Bishop. I am perfectly fine being single, but don't mind if the opportunity is there. I could introspect and laugh by myself for hours ( as creepy as that sounds), but I believe this makes sense to me since I was never afraid to figuratively look at myself in the mirror.
Author Bishop556 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 (edited) There is nothing odd about laughing at yourself. I made every mistake imaginable when my ex and I broke up which left me at an extremely low point. However, I feel one of the best ways to cope with your mistakes is to laugh at them. For example, I was so worked up when my ex told me about her sexual conquests, but now I can find the humor in it all from my side and hers. No one wants to see their negative qualities or actions, but I believe it shows great character to be able to acknowledge them, and develop yourself from them. Looking in the figurative mirror is painful, but the pain is so important for self improvement. Edited January 12, 2014 by Bishop556 2
what_a_blonde Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 There is nothing odd about laughing at yourself. I made every mistake imaginable when my ex and I broke up which left me at an extremely low point. However, I feel one of the best ways to cope with your mistakes is to laugh at them. For example, I was so worked up when my ex told me about her sexual conquests, but now I can find the humor in it all from my side and hers. No one wants to see their negative qualities or actions, but I believe it shows great character to be able to acknowledge them, and develop yourself from them. Looking in the figurative mirror is painful, but the pain is so important for self improvement. Love your last sentence. It's a good reminder about the pain any of us may be dealing with. Even though it sucks we are going through it, there's always a way out and we need to remember we will come out better than before (with the right mindset!).
Author Bishop556 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 I feel the mindset has to develop though. In my case, I begged, pleaded, basically groveled at my ex's feet for her not to leave me. I was pathetic. However, I had to develop the courage to realize and accept that she is losing someone who treated her like gold and would stick with her through any confrontation and work through it, a quality that was not shown towards me. The hardest part of experiencing a break up is relearning how to love yourself, especially if you're the dumpee (in most cases).
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