sugarpea Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Hi there Just wanted to get your opinion on something. So it's been a year since BU (first relationship and serious (6yr)), and well I'm feeling fine now - Thank you LoveShack members & forum for honesty and kindness. NC is going smoothly and even noticing guys, random strangers, not approached anyone yet though (Feel like a teenager again). Just wondered is it and does it feel awkward to date and be with someone new again and how long till those feelings subside. I don't want to get into a relationship and be awkward/ emotionally unavailable, it's not fair on any guy, and I'm not that kinda person to take someone's feelings and play around with them. I wanted to ask this, because a guy was interested in me back in December (it's unlikely we'll meet again but possibly -I go to that club a lot with friends)...anyway he showed interest in me and I was honest with him, told him I was still getting over BU of 6yrs and that I didn't want him to be rebound or anything. He seemed like a decent guy, only wanted my name and number, not a one night stand like most of the other guys there. He was a bit younger than me, 23 so I wasn't too sure and also he looked quite a bit like my ex. It's like the universe wanted me to meet him as rebound We chatted and just held hands and hugged (friend only stuff), mainly because for some odd reason even though my ex and I were not together anymore and he was with someone else at the time 3 months in, it felt like I would be cheating on him if I did anything more with this guy, even kissing. I don't know it's probably just me,... but has anyone else had these feelings before and how did/do you get over them? Is it just a matter of taking things slowly with the next person? Not too bothered bout being in a relationship at the moment and pretty much just enjoying being single and being independent without the stresses of all the relationship crap but I suppose I'd like to know how to deal with these feelings should they occur and if I do happen to meet someone. Thank you!
d0nnivain Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 It's different for everybody. In the beginning of the new relationship things are going to be weird. You knew how your ex would react to certain situations. When the new person reacts differently that will startle you. Eventually as you settle in, the new person's reactions will be your norm. Try to enjoy the change not get hung up on it.
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I always find the first kiss/sex with someone new after a breakup is kinda weird, but also really exciting because of how novel it is. After the first one, I feel like I've broken the seal and subsequent encounters don't feel weird at all. Just take your time. I feel way way way more awkward holding hands with someone than I do having sex with them, so that's a big deal for me. I usually tell people I'm not into PDAs unless I'm in a relationship with them.
Author sugarpea Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 Thank you for your advice. I feel such a noob at all of this. Just feels a bit awkward to even talk about dating again. Feel a bit like a teenager again having to do this but feel quite old being 25 and just finished my first relationship. My friends are married and some have kids already.
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