mattspasta Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 i dated my girlfriend for 6 months and we broke up,we are still hanging out though we are still great friends(in fact nothing has really changed) she says she doesnt want a relationship now becasue she wants to focus on herself. She wants to finish college and get a good job and focus on that before she settles down im confused,i still love her (which she knows) and i wanna be with her,she knows all this,but she says she doesnt want a relationship right now what do i do?? it tears me up knowing she could be with a guy
Sand Man Dan Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 i dated my girlfriend for 6 months and we broke up,we are still hanging out though we are still great friends(in fact nothing has really changed) she says she doesnt want a relationship now becasue she wants to focus on herself. She wants to finish college and get a good job and focus on that before she settles down im confused,i still love her (which she knows) and i wanna be with her,she knows all this,but she says she doesnt want a relationship right now what do i do?? it tears me up knowing she could be with a guy Honestly, she probably is with another guy. That's almost a guarantee. She wants to keep you around as a friend because when you accept that offer, it signifies to her that you're ok with her ditching you for another guy so she doesn't need to feel guilty. She also gets emotional attention out of this. Your ex is very selfish and immature. Don't speak to her anymore. Trust me 1
TaraMaiden Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I'll second, third and fourth that and match it with a 'read the No Contact Guide' in my signature.....
bubbaganoosh Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Move on and find a different girl. She's not interested in you in a romantic way and she's already said it in so many ways so what's the use in hanging on to something that isn't there.
soccerrprp Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 She wants to keep you around as a friend because when you accept that offer, it signifies to her that you're ok with her ditching you for another guy so she doesn't need to feel guilty. I seriously doubt that she sees his offer to be friends as permission or acceptance of his for her to date others. This, especially since she has been telling him that she doesn't want to date right now AND, more importantly, b/c she knows that he still has strong feelings for her. I agree with everything else, though. OP, she likely is just not interested in having a relationship with YOU.
organizedchaos Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 i dated my girlfriend for 6 months and we broke up,we are still hanging out though we are still great friends(in fact nothing has really changed) she says she doesnt want a relationship now becasue she wants to focus on herself. She wants to finish college and get a good job and focus on that before she settles down im confused,i still love her (which she knows) and i wanna be with her,she knows all this,but she says she doesnt want a relationship right now what do i do?? it tears me up knowing she could be with a guy Give her what she wants and disappear from her life. Let her know what it's like without you and that you are no doormat.
Author mattspasta Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 I seriously doubt that she sees his offer to be friends as permission or acceptance of his for her to date others. This, especially since she has been telling him that she doesn't want to date right now AND, more importantly, b/c she knows that he still has strong feelings for her. I agree with everything else, though. OP, she likely is just not interested in having a relationship with YOU. the thing is. she has told me that she can see a future between us when she gets to the point where she is ready for a relationship again but she also said there's things I need to work on, as well as her
TaraMaiden Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 the thing is. she has told me that she can see a future between us when she gets to the point where she is ready for a relationship again but she also said there's things I need to work on, as well as her Oh really? And until then, what are you supposed to do... sit quietly in a corner, remain faithful and celibate, and wait for.... how long, exactly? Has she given you a 'reasonable' time-frame, when she believes she will have reached this....'point'...?? Does she honestly think she can go gallivanting off doing her own thing, and expect you to sit there like some adorable obedient puppy, and wait for her to come back, at HER convenience? Really? I mean - REALLY - ?! 2
Sand Man Dan Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 You stop any communication with her. You stop chasing her. You realize that you will never have anything with her. To her, you are zero. Zip. Zilch. Trash-ola. The gum on the bleachers. She doesn't want you. And for that reason, you shouldn't want her. /thread 1
deathandtaxes Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 well i dont know what to do Listen to all the wonderful advice in this post. Do you want to be at her beck and call forever? You're filler. You're her ego boost. Is that what you want to be to this lady? She said she didn't want a relationship. End of story in my book.
TaraMaiden Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 well i dont know what to do Yes you do. You just don't want to do the hard work, and do it. Cut the ties that bind, end this, move on and live your life as you should. Yes, it would mean completely without her, but - get this, and get this good: It's what she wanted to do, without you. 1
organizedchaos Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 well i dont know what to do We just f'n told you! 1
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