PinkDotsXOXO Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 *Hey all I posted this on another part of this forum but I felt it would be better suited here. Any advice is appreciated. Hey everyone thanks in advanced for your help! I apologize in advanced for the long post. To make a long story short I had been dating my boyfriend for 3 months but we had been official for 2. Out of nowhere he decides to break up with me. But won't give me a straight up reason. To give some background, he is 25, I am 24 and his parents control every aspect of his life (i believe this is due to his mother's many miscarriages and he is considered the "miracle baby"). They always need to know where he's going, why, when he'll be back and will guilt trip him if he does not spend enough time with them. He doesn't have a job that pays enough money to move out but he is looking for one. He admits his mom "wears the pants" in his family. He has told me in the past he would not date anyone his parents do not like. His parents and I seemed to get along REALLY WELL despite all of this and I used to really like them. zit turns out, for weeks they have been on him about me and finally he couldn't take it anymore. They say I "have a heart of gold" but have an issue with my parents being divorced, the way I dress, and the way I look. I have lost a significant amount of weight but they doubt i will keep it off and they are afraid I will gain it back. Due to all of this, he broke it off with me. Irony plays a part in this as his dad does not talk to his entire side of the family because they all hate my ex's mom (his wife). So I would figure them of all people would understand. My ex tells me he loves me and wants to be with me and is unhappy now that we are no longer together. Lately we have been still talking every night and sneaking around seeing each other. But he needs to make up his mind because eventually they are going to find out and likely flip out on him. I just don't know what to do....any advice i appreciated!
mantlefan Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 It's not your ex's parents business how much you weigh or what you wear. I think you need to be clear with your ex that if it is going to go anywhere, he is going to have to confront his mom eventually. This IS NOT me saying that you give him a "It's your mom or me" ultimatum. But I do think that if he wants to be with you, he needs to tell his mom that.
LadyM Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 This is an uphill battle because your guy is under the thumb of his mom and I don't see that changing. She controls her husband and her son and there isn't much room for you in the mix. I think your best shot is for some professional counseling with him to strengthen his own sense of self to be able to live his own life the way he wants and not just live it the way mom wants. 1
WYSWYG Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 sorry if this may sound cold but it's only been a few months so I'm assuming there's a few memories to cherish and a few baggage to unload. Like LadyM says, this is an uphill battle for you. If they have a legit issue w/ "the way you dress, the way you look". Then be honest w/ yourself. It may be a hindrance to your future opportunities. DO NOT SEEK THEIR APPROVAL. You control your destiny!!! I say NC now. Keep posting/reading here for support/reinforcement. It will be a process but you're doing it for your own good. You may not be close to that ocean right now but there's guna be plenty of fish in the sea if you take care of yourself first. Seriously, you're only 24.
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