cliche1 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Hi. Well this is the story: I was on my way back from a night out on a night bus home in the early hours of new years day. And I somehow got talking to this beautiful lady, after half hour we went our seperate ways having swapped numbers....for the folowing few days we spoke efvery day, via whatsapp and on the phone until the early hours, and a connection and chemistry was really forming. We agreed on a date, and she started to tell me she thought I was really sweet, and amazing, and she loves the idea that shes met a fellow hopeless romantic. On Wednesday we had the date, and it was mindblowing, it was the best date I have ever had, we had a meal and went to the cinema. Conversation was flowing and when we settled into the ciname we just took one look at each other and shared an earth-moving kiss. We then hugged up, weatched the film and walked back to the tube station hand in hand, hugging and kissing as we went seperate ways. Since then conversation has continued. she told me that she feels she can trust me to take care and look after her, and that I am an amazing guy, and that the kiss we shared was amazing, and that it took her breath away. Last night we was on the phone and talking and she seemed happy with how things were going, to just see how it goes, that we both had slight apprehensions dur to previous expereinces. We then had a few back and forths on whatsapp later that night in which I said I wouldd protect her from wasps and spiders, her biggest fears. This morning, I then followed on and told her I would care for her and look after her and all that, I may have gone a bit carried away, and lo and behold shes turned around and said she felt i came on abit too strong, made her think twice about our upcoming date on tuesday and doesnt think we should meet on tuesday, which we was starting to plan last night, I've acknowledged that i've said too much, that i got carried away as I had not met a girl and promised to her i'd wind it in....and thanked her for her honesty, but all she said was "openness and honesty - its what I stand by" and i told her that I'm still looking forward to getting to know her, that I will keep the over exuberance in check, that she knows she csn tell em anything, good or bad, and i've left it in her hands about tuesday, saying I just want to take the time to get to know her. I havent heard back from her yet, but I know shes read them, albeit only an hour ago. Have I blown it, I feel really down, upset with myself, and not sure whatt to do next? How can I maintain the connection and chemistry, or have I blown it for good? I hope not as I really like this girl, and thought she felt the same about me.I really feel so down today since this morning and feel scared to do or say anything. I'm such an idiot!
Author cliche1 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 Bumping.....really need some advice, and do I wait for her to get back to me or do i try and continue conversation...
Divasu Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 You're not an idiot for telling someone you like them a lot...Yes, maybe too much initially but you're only human. Let it ride out for now, if she doesn't get back in touch, too bad for her.
Maxtor Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 From my experience, never tell a person you like her. A week ago i was talking to a friend of mine, a girl, and asked her "what if a guy tells that he likes you?", she replied "well, the mystery would be over, and maybe i would lose interest." Cant trust girls anymore. A guy cant be honest.
Author cliche1 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 You're not an idiot for telling someone you like them a lot...Yes, maybe too much initially but you're only human. Let it ride out for now, if she doesn't get back in touch, too bad for her. I feel like an idiot....i just got carried away, maybe because the night before last she left me a message saying that "she wanted to lie next to me and kiss me all night" Before i'd even got the chance to message me the next moening I got a message saying good morning honey". She is really big on conversation and communication as well, and I know a dude went distant on her in the past and it upset her...I know she went out with some friends last night, do you reckon they got into her head?
d0nnivain Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Giver her some space. After about a week send a pithy note along the lines of -- I backed off as requested proving I do have some self restraint. Sorry I came on too strong but please take it as a compliment. If I promise to behave & power down, will you please go to a movie with me next Tuesday? 1
Author cliche1 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 Giver her some space. After about a week send a pithy note along the lines of -- I backed off as requested proving I do have some self restraint. Sorry I came on too strong but please take it as a compliment. If I promise to behave & power down, will you please go to a movie with me next Tuesday? Guess I have no choice, I really like her, and it will be weird to not talk to her. She seems so big on communication, before she told me a guy upset her when he went aloof and dissapeared on her, dropping the odd text, i'm not sure its in my nature. It just seems weird she seemed to be doing quite a bit of the pushing and with them stuff she was saying and how she was just the night before last....now I am not sure how to act....and a part of me just wants to say hey, hope you have had a good day! It just seems she isnt this kind of girl, shes really into romance, so was it really something I said?
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Don't bother with the 'hey, what's up?' messages any more. There's no indication from that that it'll ever turn into anything romantic or sexual: you want her as a date/potential girlfriend, so don't make yourself look like just another one of her friends. I'd go with what d0nnivain suggested, that's a great idea. Although I'd say less 'would you please go to a movie Tuesday' and more 'would you like to come to the movies with me Tuesday?' just because it sounds a little less like you think she'd be doing you a favour. But yeah, a guy could rescue coming on too fast and too strong by doing this, with me at least. If she messages you by all means get back in touch a little but I wouldn't go all out texting and talking like before. I'm not usually one for games but I think it'd work in your favour holding back a little now. And then send that text. 1
Author cliche1 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 Don't bother with the 'hey, what's up?' messages any more. There's no indication from that that it'll ever turn into anything romantic or sexual: you want her as a date/potential girlfriend, so don't make yourself look like just another one of her friends. I'd go with what d0nnivain suggested, that's a great idea. Although I'd say less 'would you please go to a movie Tuesday' and more 'would you like to come to the movies with me Tuesday?' just because it sounds a little less like you think she'd be doing you a favour. But yeah, a guy could rescue coming on too fast and too strong by doing this, with me at least. If she messages you by all means get back in touch a little but I wouldn't go all out texting and talking like before. I'm not usually one for games but I think it'd work in your favour holding back a little now. And then send that text. I guess it will be interesting to see if she chases me.....it was a point where she used to want me to send her a audio clip over whatsapp saying goodnight as she "loved my sleepy voice", I was doing that right until last night, and we have been in constant contact, until i sent those messages where I put tuesdy and other things back in court, I did not see this comking, i thought she was above this, and wanted to just conversate and communicate and see what happens from it. Now i'm involved in games again. Shes on my facebook list, so i should do as usual and see how it all goes.
Author cliche1 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 (edited) I guess it will be interesting to see if she chases me.....it was a point where she used to want me to send her a audio clip over whatsapp saying goodnight as she "loved my sleepy voice", I was doing that right until last night, and we have been in constant contact, until i sent those messages where I put tuesdy and other things back in court, I did not see this comking, i thought she was above this, and wanted to just conversate and communicate and see what happens from it. Now i'm involved in games again. Shes on my facebook list, so i should do as usual and see how it all goes. I would also like to point out all seemed fine until this comment i made today, where i said I would care for her and do anything for her etc etc. Whats annoying is shes been on fb and all that, moaning about a rude guy coming upto her and touching her, but at the same time shes got someone right here who wants to date her and respectfully at that. Edited January 11, 2014 by cliche1
Author cliche1 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 ****update***** So she's come back and said that what I said kinda thew her off a bit, But it's cool, and she know I didn't mean any harm, She would prefer to just be friends as shes not really looking for a relationship, however, if it happens, it happens But she think, for her, the idea of heading towards a relationship right now with someone she just met, it's a bit much for her. So from saying stuff like wanting to spend all night with me kissing and hugging She's now gone to friends first and if it happens it happens Its not going to happen is it......? Should I cut my losses before I end up hurt?!
sagetalk Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Its not going to happen is it......? Should I cut my losses before I end up hurt?! Not necessarily cut your losses, but you are toast as of right now. You cannot get ahead of her in the feelings department, if you do, it's usually over. Tell her she is making a good decision, and you didn't mean to get that carried away. Keep asking her out on dates in a lite, non-aggressive way. If she continues to reject you, slowly trickle down your messages to her until you go full no contact. If she doesn't contact you back, keep looking for another girl. However, do not send her any mean texts, or burn any bridges with her. You never know what might happen down the road. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 The cynic in me says she met and is now dating someone else, and didn't have the guts to let you know she went in another direction. Just my two cents. 1
truth_seeker Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 ****update***** So she's come back and said that what I said kinda thew her off a bit, But it's cool, and she know I didn't mean any harm, She would prefer to just be friends as shes not really looking for a relationship, however, if it happens, it happens But she think, for her, the idea of heading towards a relationship right now with someone she just met, it's a bit much for her. So from saying stuff like wanting to spend all night with me kissing and hugging She's now gone to friends first and if it happens it happens Its not going to happen is it......? Should I cut my losses before I end up hurt?! She's a flake and is playing the field. She wanted to keep it light and fun. You took it to another level with your feelings. She doesn't want to be too attached to you. She wants to keep things open so she can have her cake and eat it, too. I agree with SageTalk. Just let her know it's cool and back off. I would go cold on her and if she comes calling, great. If not, oh well. In the meantime, look to meet other women.
SYLLPalmer Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Hi. Well this is the story: I was on my way back from a night out on a night bus home in the early hours of new years day. And I somehow got talking to this beautiful lady, after half hour we went our seperate ways having swapped numbers....for the folowing few days we spoke efvery day, via whatsapp and on the phone until the early hours, and a connection and chemistry was really forming. We agreed on a date, and she started to tell me she thought I was really sweet, and amazing, and she loves the idea that shes met a fellow hopeless romantic. On Wednesday we had the date, and it was mindblowing, it was the best date I have ever had, we had a meal and went to the cinema. Conversation was flowing and when we settled into the ciname we just took one look at each other and shared an earth-moving kiss. We then hugged up, weatched the film and walked back to the tube station hand in hand, hugging and kissing as we went seperate ways. Since then conversation has continued. she told me that she feels she can trust me to take care and look after her, and that I am an amazing guy, and that the kiss we shared was amazing, and that it took her breath away. Last night we was on the phone and talking and she seemed happy with how things were going, to just see how it goes, that we both had slight apprehensions dur to previous expereinces. We then had a few back and forths on whatsapp later that night in which I said I wouldd protect her from wasps and spiders, her biggest fears. This morning, I then followed on and told her I would care for her and look after her and all that, I may have gone a bit carried away, and lo and behold shes turned around and said she felt i came on abit too strong, made her think twice about our upcoming date on tuesday and doesnt think we should meet on tuesday, which we was starting to plan last night, I've acknowledged that i've said too much, that i got carried away as I had not met a girl and promised to her i'd wind it in....and thanked her for her honesty, but all she said was "openness and honesty - its what I stand by" and i told her that I'm still looking forward to getting to know her, that I will keep the over exuberance in check, that she knows she csn tell em anything, good or bad, and i've left it in her hands about tuesday, saying I just want to take the time to get to know her. I havent heard back from her yet, but I know shes read them, albeit only an hour ago. Have I blown it, I feel really down, upset with myself, and not sure whatt to do next? How can I maintain the connection and chemistry, or have I blown it for good? I hope not as I really like this girl, and thought she felt the same about me.I really feel so down today since this morning and feel scared to do or say anything. I'm such an idiot! Sounds like youth to me. Young girls vacillate like this. Why because they love the idea of being in love and some of them initially choose to over look things. There are other possibilities but at the root she is either young or has stunted maturity.
SJC2008 Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 You both came on strong, you didn't have a problem with her doing so but she had a problem with you doing so. Don't settle for the friend zone. Do you want to have sex with her or be her emotional tampon? Don't think for a minute that if you're "there" for her it will help your chances either.
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