conmorse Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 My ex and I broke up two months ago and I haven't spoken to her since then, so I guess I've been in no contact since the break up. I removed her on facebook and other social media, but never deleted any of the pictures of me and her. Instead, I just hid all the photos on my profile. I don't necessarily ever look at them, I just don't believe in trying to erase memories and deleting events that happened because that's what they are, memories. I wasn't trying to hold on, I would just much rather let it be on there as it's a part of my story. And i know a lot of you will call me out by not deleting pictures, but that's just not what I wanted to do. As much as I was moving on, I didn't want to "erase" someone from my life, I wanted to accept that it happened. Now today a mutual friend told me that she finally deleted all the pictures of me and her, and honestly I feel like crap. I know what you're thinking, "that's what happens when you don't delete them first." Right now Im feeling a huge rush of emotions.. I'm sad that this is reality, and im angry that she's just willing to try to erase me and act like I was never a part of her life...
Author conmorse Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 My point is I didn't want to delete the pictures because one day I want to be able to look back at those pictures and remember those good memories, just because things didn't work out doesn't mean I should just completely erase those photos. It never really affected my progress of moving on as I refrained from looking at them. Also, I knew I would regret removing those pictures more than keeping them up. They're memories I want to remember, but that doesn't necessarily mean I want to hold on to them thinking she and I were getting back together. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 But it hurts that she doesnt even want to remember it even happened (Thats what im guessing it symbolizes to you). Its totally okay to feel that way. 2
Author conmorse Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 But it hurts that she doesnt even want to remember it even happened (Thats what im guessing it symbolizes to you). Its totally okay to feel that way. Exactly how I feel... Her deleting those pictures makes it seem like she doesn't even want to remember those 2 years we were together...And it's not like the relationship ended from a fight, cheating, lying etc.. I was a good boyfriend..
Winter blue Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 She might be just couldn't cope with looking at your pics together showing on her fb, or she finally decided it's time to move on. Don't over analyse this, we all deal with breakups differently. At least by her doing this, you know she cared, or she wouldn't bother to delete them. Don't take it personally OP, it's just her way to deal with her loss. 2
Author conmorse Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 She might be just couldn't cope with looking at your pics together showing on her fb, or she finally decided it's time to move on. Don't over analyse this, we all deal with breakups differently. At least by her doing this, you know she cared, or she wouldn't bother to delete them. Don't take it personally OP, it's just her way to deal with her loss. What do you mean by this?
erklat Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 It never really affected my progress of moving on as I refrained from looking at them. You haven't moved on otherwise this wouldn't bother you. 1
David87 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 My ex and I broke up two months ago and I haven't spoken to her since then, so I guess I've been in no contact since the break up. I removed her on facebook and other social media, but never deleted any of the pictures of me and her. Instead, I just hid all the photos on my profile. I don't necessarily ever look at them, I just don't believe in trying to erase memories and deleting events that happened because that's what they are, memories. I wasn't trying to hold on, I would just much rather let it be on there as it's a part of my story. And i know a lot of you will call me out by not deleting pictures, but that's just not what I wanted to do. As much as I was moving on, I didn't want to "erase" someone from my life, I wanted to accept that it happened. Now today a mutual friend told me that she finally deleted all the pictures of me and her, and honestly I feel like crap. I know what you're thinking, "that's what happens when you don't delete them first." Right now Im feeling a huge rush of emotions.. I'm sad that this is reality, and im angry that she's just willing to try to erase me and act like I was never a part of her life... If it makes you feel better, my ex deleted the pictures of us hugging and kissing the next day after the BU she changed her status to single, and after a week she deleted all the pictures with me, blocked me and 30 of my friends, imagine how that was for me.
Author conmorse Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 You haven't moved on otherwise this wouldn't bother you. I never said I had moved on, I'm still in the process of trying to move on, it's only been two months...
erklat Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I never said I had moved on, I'm still in the process of trying to move on, it's only been two months... Oh, I guess I'm the cpt Obvious here
TaraMaiden Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 What do you mean by this? seeing them still had an effect on her. By deleting them she's attempting to numb it all down. 2
WhiteTan Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Or maybe she just doesn't want her new dudes to look at them when they go to her profile. 1
Apparition Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 (edited) You're focusing on a bunch of picture's too much. Once it's over, it's over. It means that EVERYTHING will be deleted, whether you want it to happen or not. Truth is, you cannot "erase" someone from your life. They have came into your life, they made history with you and they will always be part of your history. Your brain is the camera, and those picture's that you took are already stored inside your mind. Your brain is the biggest camera you could ever have, it will replay moments you've had in your life when you want it to. Those picture's that you refuse to delete, will not be deleted. They will just be wiped from your computer, and I don't see the point in having picture's on your computer of you and your ex when you never even look at them, anyway? What are you going to do when you get a new girlfriend? Still keep them? Sometimes, when we all go through a break-up, we are afraid of losing those good memories that we shared with a special person. However, you have to let go, it doesn't mean those memories will be deleted, they won't. They will just be a distant memory as time goes on, though. Whatever your ex does, who cares? She's obviously doing everything to move on from you, maybe you should start doing the same. Note to add: When I said everything will be deleted whether you want it to or not, I meant from your ex's side. Edited January 11, 2014 by Apparition 3
hopti Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I was the one to remove everything from facebook after the breakup. My reasons were that I wanted to remove any source of hurt. Like if I got a notification or if he was the one to delete them first. I just wanted to remove any potential triggers. It's not that I don't want those memories, it's just that I can't be neutral and all cool about them yet. He got a new girlfriend two weeks after our five year relationship ended, but still has the photos. In a way I think that's worse than deleting them as it really is a sign of not giving a f***.
organizedchaos Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 My point is I didn't want to delete the pictures because one day I want to be able to look back at those pictures and remember those good memories, just because things didn't work out doesn't mean I should just completely erase those photos. It never really affected my progress of moving on as I refrained from looking at them. Also, I knew I would regret removing those pictures more than keeping them up. They're memories I want to remember, but that doesn't necessarily mean I want to hold on to them thinking she and I were getting back together. Just download to your computer and delete them from FB. No need to keep them up there and then you'll still have them when feeling nostalgic. 1
Author conmorse Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 The weird part is, I was the one who deleted her off facebook, intsagram and other social media first, and from what I heard she was surprised when I did this. Now I feel like the tables have turned and im on the receiving end after hearing that she removed these pictures. The reason I did this was because I didn't want to hear or see anything that she was doing, and maybe shes doing the same. I know I shouldn't focus too much about her, but at times its hard not to. The last thing I heard was that she had been "hanging out" with a guy, so I don't know if they're together now and that's why she deleted them. I don't think its wrong that she deleted them, but it definitely stings..
soccerrprp Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 My ex and I broke up two months ago and I haven't spoken to her since then, so I guess I've been in no contact since the break up. I removed her on facebook and other social media, but never deleted any of the pictures of me and her. Instead, I just hid all the photos on my profile. I don't necessarily ever look at them, I just don't believe in trying to erase memories and deleting events that happened because that's what they are, memories. I wasn't trying to hold on, I would just much rather let it be on there as it's a part of my story. And i know a lot of you will call me out by not deleting pictures, but that's just not what I wanted to do. As much as I was moving on, I didn't want to "erase" someone from my life, I wanted to accept that it happened. Now today a mutual friend told me that she finally deleted all the pictures of me and her, and honestly I feel like crap. I know what you're thinking, "that's what happens when you don't delete them first." Right now Im feeling a huge rush of emotions.. I'm sad that this is reality, and im angry that she's just willing to try to erase me and act like I was never a part of her life... conmorse, I'm sorry, but your reasons for keeping the pictures, for me, are not commendable. That's my opinion. It is clear that you are still stuck on your ex and by keeping them, you make it more difficult for you to move on, be healthy for the next relationship. Hiding them doesn't prevent you from looking at them in the future and if you are not going to then delete them. You have no right to be angry with your ex for deleting her pics of a memory best left in the past. She's doing what's best for her and it seems, making a more proactive effort to move on. Saving pictures of an ex after a break-up doesn't make much sense to me. You don't need them to keep her in your memory. You can keep them to further torment yourself and remain stuck if you like. Good luck. Move on. 3
JDPT Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 We often expect some type of "consideration" from te one we loved and spent the most intimate moments. Truth is, they don't owe you anything and neither do you. This is sometimes what we need to jolt awareness and know that we can't remain stagnant in time. Life goes on as try say so make the best of it and continue to work on yourself. The ex doesn't matter anymore, she was on her own the second the relationship came to a hault. 1
Crila16 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Who broke up with who? My ex broke up with me 2 months ago and I immediately deleted him on Facebook and deleted all his pics from my Facebook that we were tagged on. Usually women do this when we're angry and hurt, to show the guy, I'm over you...even though we're not. I still save the pics to my computer though. He'll never know.
realfriends Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 What I did was just save them all in a file and take them off the web. I still have the photos locked up somewhere as to not erase the reality.
BC1980 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I deleted all my pics the next day. It was too painful to look at them. I basically had no trace of him the next day because I knew it would just prolong the healing.
Author conmorse Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 I honestly just can't fully delete all the pictures.. I can't.. They're hidden, but right now I can't delete them. My dad and I are the same, he has troubles throwing away things such as old clothes because they hold sentimental values, although he thinks it's a bad trait.
Author conmorse Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 I actually just remembered my dad showing me old photographs he had kept of his ex girlfriends back when he was younger, they don't mean anything to him now but the fact is that he kept them. Like father like son I guess 1
organizedchaos Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I honestly just can't fully delete all the pictures.. I can't.. They're hidden, but right now I can't delete them. My dad and I are the same, he has troubles throwing away things such as old clothes because they hold sentimental values, although he thinks it's a bad trait. I gave you some advice on page 1 so you could keep them but not on fb.
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