youngbutoldsoul Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 (edited) So many of us dumpees write letters to dumpers. I wrote a letter to myself before and re-reading it when I have my "weak moments" helped me. I hope to share it in case it helps anyone. Dear Self, Its time to let go. It is out of your control. Hope will only hold you back while he keeps moving forward in a different direction. No matter how right or beautiful it felt, it has passed like all else in life. Believe in yourself and the beauty of all your aspirations. Set out to explore and conquer them. Accept that you have done all you could given what has happened. Accept that given the circumstances, it was an end that you may have contributed to but ultimately, he is the one who decided to leave behind something he no longer cherishes or cares enough to fix. Accept that we all have free will and make decisions based on what we think is best for our happiness. He made his choice and now its time for you to continually make choices towards your own well-deserved happiness. This is your story, write a meaningful life, live each page to the fullest--you are the author, not someone who left and decided to longer be a part of your story. Every minute you think of him, realize he's busy writing a different story. Every wonderful thought and action you choose from here on out to fill your time with will bring you that much closer to the life you want. After all, you decide who you want to give your whole heart and soul to. You decide who gets to be a part of your beautiful sweet home in the future. Do you really want to wake up for the rest of your life next to someone who has proven they were okay with breaking your heart???????? Do not focus on getting that person back--they do not want to come back, they're a different version of who you used to know. Get yourself back. Be smarter, be more kind, be more adventurous, be more beautiful, be funnier, be more educated, make yourself the best possible version of yourself as you can possibly be. Create a more worthwhile journey. Tomorrow is never promised. Love, yourself Sidenote: While driving on the road today, I thought of something that brought me a sense of peace and comfort. Most of us (hopefully) do not even entertain the idea of interfering with another person who is already in a relationship. It helps to reframe the situation and try different perspectives until we gain one that we are comfortable with. The idea that helped me is: once someone breaks up with you, they technically belong to someone else. And that someone else may be someone they have met or someone they WILL meet sometime in the THEIR FUTURE. They are no longer yours and that should be enough for you to walk away too. Edited January 11, 2014 by youngbutoldsoul Grammar 23
Bishop556 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 You are a kind, good person. I don't know you, but I can tell you have these qualities from that letter. Keep up on self improvement. Just remember, if your ex is seeing someone else so soon, they are not improving themselves. Think deeply about that. Like you said, just walk away. They might not be yours anymore, but you must also acknowledge that you are not theirs anymore as well. With self improvement and confidence building, you will realize that you are worth more than you can even imagine. You are worth so much. Please keep that in mind. 4
Author youngbutoldsoul Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 You are a kind, good person. I don't know you, but I can tell you have these qualities from that letter. Keep up on self improvement. Just remember, if your ex is seeing someone else so soon, they are not improving themselves. Think deeply about that. Like you said, just walk away. They might not be yours anymore, but you must also acknowledge that you are not theirs anymore as well. With self improvement and confidence building, you will realize that you are worth more than you can even imagine. You are worth so much. Please keep that in mind. Thank you for your words, it was very warm and I definitely appreciate your wisdom too! 1
Bishop556 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Don't thank me. Your letter was exactly what I needed to read. I ran into my ex today with her new boyfriend, and I was shaken up a little by the experience. I should thank you as this letter helped me realize how far I've gone in terms of self improvement. Thank you. 1
Shashasha Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Sigh. Thank you so much for this - it gives me hope that someone better will come along. You stay strong, girl! 1
MoooOinkBaaa Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Great post. Something every dumpee should strive for. When you realize there is no going back, this is all we have. 1
margot13 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Great post, the approach and the thoughts are fantastic. Wish I could practice it 100%, but still find myself hurt and sometimes bitter.... 1
fartastica Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Just had to log in and tell you that you are an amazing soul for writing this letter and sharing it. You completely echoed the things I've been wanting to tell myself. (I think I should print this out and put it up on my wall!) I take comfort in the fact that a kind and awesome girl like you will undoubtedly find love that is worthy of her, and if I think like you in any way, it will happen to me too! Much love. 3
Author youngbutoldsoul Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 Thank you so much for all your warm and kind words! I wish everyone continues healing. When you think about it, the dumper sort of morphs into a stranger to us...someone we no longer recognize. It's painful to wonder how, why, and what if's. Why not morph ourselves into an even more incredible version of ourselves? We, too, should change into a different (better) person. 2
wildsunandmoon Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Thank you for sharing this. I'm going to try and keep this in mind whenever I find myself slipping.
Author youngbutoldsoul Posted January 13, 2014 Author Posted January 13, 2014 I'm so glad you guys found this helpful!
OpheliaSong Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Someone once told me that every person who comes in and out of their lives leaves a trace, but it is up to us if it is in pencil or in in ink. May you find what you are looking for, may we all! Hugs!
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