destroyed4sho Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 (edited) Will being the dumpee Ever end?? I started dating? This guy a few.weeks ago, he seemed really into me and attracted to me. At first I was not into.him at all so he was messaging me constantly but.I kept.blowing.him off because he was younger.than me. He would always text me things like how are you doing, when can you see me etc. Anyway a friend suggested I give it a.shot even tho.he was younger. I did find him attractive so I agreed to.meet him. We hung out a few times before we had sex and the sex was.amazing so I was hooked. I didnt want.anything more than sex so I told him that and he said he was fine with that because he wanted to get his life together first. But.then he also said he wished we could be.more. after.my breakup with my previous exa year ago I dont feel like I want.to get into something serious so I made him aware of.that. he said it was cool.and.he.liked our arrangement. To make a long story short, the textes became.less and less, he started.seeing.me less and less and now he.has totally dissappeared after.I sent him a text.saying I.felt.unsatisfied. So its.been few days now. What the hell happened?!?!?! Its bothering.me but ofcourse not to.the point.of feeling absolutely destroyed :-) I just feel like what is the point anymore...I even get dumped in.a fwb no.strings attached.scenerio...wtf?? Btw its not.my looks,I have above average looks.and my.personality is niot Bad...I do have my moments but.in general im pretty easy to get along with! Edited January 11, 2014 by destroyed4sho
pickflicker Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 You basically told him you weren't over your ex and it wasn't going anywhere. I'm not sure why you're surprised at his reaction. 4
emi Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I think he got what he wants and he lost interest. That how young boys are. They chased hard and when they got it, they bail 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Fraid all he was after was what you agreed to give him Destroyed. You wanted only sex: he agreed to it. Sorry, but this isn't just a young boy problem: this is a men problem, lol. 1
Author destroyed4sho Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 Okay but if he agreed to it why does he no longer want to continue? It has been only a few weeks. Its free unattached sex?!?! I can understand if it was a year in and it got old and boring but I thought we were in the new and exciting phase. Its okay I am not that torn up about it...but still. I am starting not to trust people..men and women
veggirl Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Okay but if he agreed to it why does he no longer want to continue? It has been only a few weeks. Its free unattached sex?!?! I can understand if it was a year in and it got old and boring but I thought we were in the new and exciting phase. Its okay I am not that torn up about it...but still. I am starting not to trust people..men and women He met someone he wants more than just sex with. 2
mammasita Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 There was nothing there to begin with, you weren't dumped. 1
KatZee Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Will being the dumpee Ever end?? Only when you get the bolded below under control. At first I was not into.him at all so he was messaging me constantly but.I kept.blowing.him off because he was younger.than me. He would always text me things like how are you doing, when can you see me etc. We hung out a few times before we had sex and the sex was.amazing so I was hooked. I didnt want.anything more than sex so I told him that and he said he was fine with that because he wanted to get his life together first. But.then he also said he wished we could be.more. after.my breakup with my previous ex a year ago I dont feel like I want.to get into something serious so I made him aware of.that. he said it was cool.and.he.liked our arrangement. To make a long story short, the textes became.less and less, he started.seeing.me less and less and now he.has totally dissappeared after.I sent him a text.saying I.felt.unsatisfied. So its.been few days now. What the hell happened?!?!?! What do you mean "what the hell happened" ??? You were hot and cold from day one. First you're blowing him off and not even giving him the time of day, then you hook up with him and get hooked on his dick, he wants more, you tell him you're still into your ex and you don't want anything serious... and then you send him a text saying you're unsatisfied? Unsatisfied with what? You can't blow hot and cold and expect a person to hang around. It's like a crazy train. You either want him, or you don't. You don't get to play with him, play with his emotions, tell him you don't want to date him, and then bitch that you're unsatisfied. 5
Author destroyed4sho Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 Hi K, I understand that maybe I was being a hot and cold at times. But I did not want to mislead him in any way so I tried to be honest throughout. I also thought he was being honest when he said he was cool with it. You know what tho? If I was honest or not/hot and cold or not, it would of been the same result anyway...once a guy is done with you he is done for good and there is nothing you can do about it anyway. I have been a crazy train for a while now, I am having a hard time.accepting people and trusting that people are for real. Like with this guy, I was training myself to believe that it would end soon so that I wouldnt get attached and that is the only thibg that saved me from being Really hurt after he disappeared. I know it is wrong to do that but guess what? it Worked!! and I will never be or chase after someone like I did my previous ex, it was pathetic.and I lost a lot of self esteem the way I was going after her and hoping for the best. I dont give a **** about being hot or cold because that is the way that everyone has been towards me and dumped me anyway.in the end so its always goi ng to be the same result.
Author destroyed4sho Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 He met someone he wants more than just sex with. This could be true actually I was considering this as an explanation....well u know...oh well. :-/ this is what happens when you honest with people, you always get screwed in the end. My therapist even told me that I didnt have to be 100% honest. This proves good guys ALWAYS finish last.
Shaun-Dro Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Will being the dumpee Ever end?? I started dating? This guy a few.weeks ago, he seemed really into me and attracted to me. At first I was not into.him at all so he was messaging me constantly but.I kept.blowing.him off because he was younger.than me. He would always text me things like how are you doing, when can you see me etc. Anyway a friend suggested I give it a.shot even tho.he was younger. I did find him attractive so I agreed to.meet him. We hung out a few times before we had sex and the sex was.amazing so I was hooked. I didnt want.anything more than sex so I told him that and he said he was fine with that because he wanted to get his life together first. But.then he also said he wished we could be.more. after.my breakup with my previous exa year ago I dont feel like I want.to get into something serious so I made him aware of.that. he said it was cool.and.he.liked our arrangement. To make a long story short, the textes became.less and less, he started.seeing.me less and less and now he.has totally dissappeared after.I sent him a text.saying I.felt.unsatisfied. I'd disappear on you too with a comment like that so I don't blame him. 1
Author destroyed4sho Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 I'd disappear on you too with a comment like that so I don't blame him. Which comment? I did not mislead him, I was honest and he agreed to us being fwb`s.
KatZee Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I have been a crazy train for a while now, I am having a hard time.accepting people and trusting that people are for real. Like with this guy, I was training myself to believe that it would end soon so that I wouldnt get attached and that is the only thibg that saved me from being Really hurt after he disappeared. I know it is wrong to do that but guess what? it Worked!! and I will never be or chase after someone like I did my previous ex, it was pathetic.and I lost a lot of self esteem the way I was going after her and hoping for the best. I dont give a **** about being hot or cold because that is the way that everyone has been towards me and dumped me anyway.in the end so its always goi ng to be the same result. It's the wall you put up that makes people run away. It has nothing to do with them just leaving you out of the blue. You put up some serious walls, mess with HIS emotions and he just didn't want anything more to do with it. Your distrustful attitude is VERY noticeable, trust me. It's not like you tried to protect yourself and he left, and you're left not so hurt. It's this attitude which pushed him away in the first place. So what you think is protecting you, is actually hurting you in the long run. Also, stop projecting what everyone's been like with you, onto everyone else. That's not the right way to live or how to behave with new potential partners. This guy didn't do ANYTHING to you. In fact, he has wanted to be with you FOR REAL since day one, so don't start saying he's hot and cold and just dumping you out of no where. 1
Haydn Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Hang on, i know a lot of women like this as well. Not only a man problem. Fraid all he was after was what you agreed to give him Destroyed. You wanted only sex: he agreed to it. Sorry, but this isn't just a young boy problem: this is a men problem, lol. 1
soccerrprp Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I think he got what he wants and he lost interest. That how young boys are. They chased hard and when they got it, they bail Chase, what chase? Once you took interest, you gave him what he wanted and what you wanted. A fwb w/ no strings. He only wanted to have sex with you and you made that easy and he went his merry way. Why are you upset? You didn't want a relationship. You only wanted sex, a behavior that so many of you ladies abhor. You shouldn't have any regrets. But, OP, I suspect you do want much more. You've become the very thing that you hate. You're lost and justify the failed relationships by convincing yourself you only sex and nothing more. I am sorry if you are so discouraged that you've become what I've described. You gotta get up and out of this. Only sex....no. You deserve and need more. 2
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Hang on, i know a lot of women like this as well. Not only a man problem. That is not what I meant. I was establishing that this has little to do with him being a young boy or guy, young men or whatever. As any man or should I say: Most men would gladly, age aside, gladly go with a woman to get some. If OLD is not proof of this, than meh. This has nothing to do with gender here. Just spotting out that age usually means lil to a guy who wants just pussy. Note now: 1) I said "most" guys. 2) I am aware that women do the same. 3) I am aware that this guy wanted more from Destroyed. He did not get what he truly wanted: a relationship. That or he got bored(I rule nothing out). That or found someone whom he could have what he really wanted: A relationship. 1
Haydn Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 This is a huge sweeping statement. Most guys are just as fussy as women. (I know i am.) Its been handed on a plate to me many times but the fact that they were unable to turn my head made it pretty impossible to just see them as Pussy as you so nicely put it. But i will i do agree that there are some men and women who would sleep with anyone with a pulse. Ok dont want to hijack the thread. That is not what I meant. I was establishing that this has little to do with him being a young boy or guy, young men or whatever. As any man or should I say: Most men would gladly, age aside, gladly go with a woman to get some. If OLD is not proof of this, than meh. This has nothing to do with gender here. Just spotting out that age usually means lil to a guy who wants just pussy. Note now: 1) I said "most" guys. 2) I am aware that women do the same. 3) I am aware that this guy wanted more from Destroyed. He did not get what he truly wanted: a relationship. That or he got bored(I rule nothing out). That or found someone whom he could have what he really wanted: A relationship.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 (edited) This is a huge sweeping statement. Most guys are just as fussy as women. (I know i am.) Its been handed on a plate to me many times but the fact that they were unable to turn my head made it pretty impossible to just see them as Pussy as you so nicely put it. But i will i do agree that there are some men and women who would sleep with anyone with a pulse. Ok dont want to hijack the thread. Are you trying to start something out of nothing? I think I have explained myself pretty well. My choice are words are to reflect what OLD and the thinking of a person WHO IS ONLY INTERESTED IN THAT. Hence, why I said: Someone who is only interested in "pussy." There were no sweeping or broad statements made. Er, if you take most the population of the world, I am pretty sure that most will be down to have sex free of charge. The world is not made of rainbows and sunshine. When did I imply that women are fussy? When did I say that guys aren't? See, you are twisting this. I merely said, lol, that women can be like that too, btw, which you said in an earlier statement. But enough of this, -- I am aware how the threads work on this section: the men and women wars that go on in it, and I am not participating in it. Oh and nice job cutting out the rest of what I said in that quote: yeah, I am unto this gender war bs. Edited January 11, 2014 by Toddbt12y1
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 (edited) Destroyed: I got your PM, but your inbox is full, btw, lol. I hope besides this event all else has been well in your life. Let this be a learning experience, I guess. FWB can come and go. Oh, I am sorry Haydn, I just realized that you didn't cut off part of what I said....what's up with mobile and this website today? It isn't working right or something. Anyway dude, nothing I made was sweeping, or words like "maybe I should say 'most'." would not be in there. You said it yourself...women can be just the same as guys...eh, let's just agree to disagree we are hijacking this. I felt the need to apologize, it appears on my mobile that part of what you quoted me is missing...weird. Edited January 11, 2014 by Toddbt12y1 2
Haydn Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I apologise as well, guess these break ups and the fall out can make us a little sensitive. No harm done between us. I value your input as always here. Haydn. Destroyed: I got your PM, but your inbox is full, btw, lol. I hope besides this event all else has been well in your life. Let this be a learning experience, I guess. FWB can come and go. Oh, I am sorry Haydn, I just realized that you didn't cut off part of what I said....what's up with mobile and this website today? It isn't working right or something. Anyway dude, nothing I made was sweeping, or words like "maybe I should say 'most'." would not be in there. You said it yourself...women can be just the same as guys...eh, let's just agree to disagree we are hijacking this. I felt the need to apologize, it appears on my mobile that part of what you quoted me is missing...weird. 2
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I apologise as well, guess these break ups and the fall out can make us a little sensitive. No harm done between us. I value your input as always here. Haydn. Same here man. We are just all helping someone and viewing the world in how we see it. I respect you and your opinions. You are a good man I am happy you are around to give advise to people. 2
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I hope Destroyed reads all this, and sees this: But your inbox to your PMs is full. I cannot respond to anything you say, unless you clear out some of those older PMs....er....sorry all.
rosedl Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 It's not the kill.... It's the thrill of the chase..... He had sex with you. The chase ended. You made it clear you didn't want any more then a sexual relationship. The whole things seems boring to me. But, youth. Truly wasted on the young 1
Author destroyed4sho Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 It's not the kill.... It's the thrill of the chase..... He had sex with you. The chase ended. You made it clear you didn't want any more then a sexual relationship. The whole things seems boring to me. But, youth. Truly wasted on the young Yes, good insight here. I can definitely see that in him, being more interested in the thrill of the chase, that and combined with the being young and the 'chasing hard followed by the inevitable disappearing act' habitude that young men have.... well ...hmm makes sense. He did not explain his disappearing act so I can only make logical assumptions and learn from them. Youth - truly wasted on the young!...haha...I like that saying!!
Author destroyed4sho Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 It's the wall you put up that makes people run away. It has nothing to do with them just leaving you out of the blue. You put up some serious walls, mess with HIS emotions and he just didn't want anything more to do with it. Your distrustful attitude is VERY noticeable, trust me. It's not like you tried to protect yourself and he left, and you're left not so hurt. It's this attitude which pushed him away in the first place. So what you think is protecting you, is actually hurting you in the long run. Also, stop projecting what everyone's been like with you, onto everyone else. That's not the right way to live or how to behave with new potential partners. This guy didn't do ANYTHING to you. In fact, he has wanted to be with you FOR REAL since day one, so don't start saying he's hot and cold and just dumping you out of no where. I know that I have to learn how to control my emotions. But my experiences have shaped who I am and how I see the world. If everyone in your past has slapped you in the face, you will expect the next person to do the same so you are going to want to put your hand up and protect yourself. I was nothing but nice, kind and honest to this guy! I never gave him any problems or a bitch tude. If he was so hurt or an upstanding guy he wouldnt of had to resort to the disappearing act. The disappearing act is weak and immature way out. C'mon its like the final LOSER move you can do. All he had to do was tell me whatever he needed to tell me....if it was really that I was hot and cold, i get it, then why not address it ? You know why? Because he doesnt have the emotional capacity to do it. Just another emotional retard I met that cant act like a normal human being. It is my fault because I ALWAYS CHOOSE THE RETARDS, the emotionally handicap people to engage in relationships, fwb's, whatever and this is what I get.
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