Logithinking Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Yes, I'm the ow. After reading so many threads here, it feels like my story is just 1 of the many, the ending will also sadly be a sad ending too. It has been 3 years. For the 1st 2 years (we treated each like an option) and by end of 2nd year I was kind of ready to move on. However, we had a long emotional conversation and he was like a changed person suddenly. He actually turned up for My family functions. We did so many things together (gifts, emails, cards, travel, sports, shopping, work). He even got his first tattoo and in my name too. I fell so in love with this man. Does the wife knows? Yes, I've seen email about me(bad of coz) from her. She was at the airport after 1 of our trips waiting to pick him up (he knows she was there and his first plan was for us to move out separately which I refused and he relented). She heard my voice during their phone convo for some other trips etc. Found love notes I gifted him. I truly admire her ability to stay on and still love him. There were bad times too. It happened as I found out the the relationship with his bs wasn't as bad as he has described. There were emails to her to apologize (after the airport incident), downplay the seriousness of relationship we had. He had to talk to her sweetly in front of me etc. I love him and I do not doubt his love. He wouldn't be the one who start the D and I doubt the wife would. (She has threatened many times). I've tried it many times to care less about him but it is so difficult. I've tried to go NC but I'm helping with his work and he is helping me to start business too. So the life is just so intertwined now. I need advice. Thanks for listening.
spiderowl Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I guess you'll just carry on with him until the pain of being second is greater than the pain of not having him around. Obviously, it's almost impossible to extract yourself from this if you allow him to help you with a business and you help him. That mutual support would have to go or you couldn't separate. It is a bridge between you. The fact that you've allowed him to become so involved with your work too suggests to me that you are not ready to let him go, haven't made that fundamental decision deep down. I believe that people make decisions unconsciously and then become aware of them. You haven't made it yet.
sunburned Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Wait. Your MOM had his wife pick him up at the airport after a trip with you?? And he spoke to her while on vacation with you while u chaterred in the background? And she has to look at his Log I thinking tattoo every day? What a jerk!! He seems to enjoy rubbing her face in it. Truth be told, so do you. Why would you want a guy who is capable of being so cruel? You said he won't initiate a D. Why? Doesn't sound like he loves her. The story doesn't add up. Regardless, until he does initiate a D, you should initiate NC. Find someone else to help you with your business. He will just keep helping himself to more cake.
rumbleseat Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Wow, you must be in deep if you can't see that this guy is acting like a real idiot and is just plain cruel to his wife.. If you want to see your future, just look at the way he treats his wife. Do his actions seem like those of a man with a good, honest and honourable character? Why do you love a man who has it in him to act like he does? 1
sunburned Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Sorry about my typos. I have a hard time love shacking from my phone! Obviously I meant the Logithinking tattoo.
scatterd Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 This guy is cruel and does not sound like a prize to have. If he can do this to his wife he can do it to you. This is not a man to have a full time relationship with. Hopefully he will leave his wife that would be this best thing he could do. I do not think he will though he is enjoying thinking hes all that and hurting others. Sorry I am not saying this to be cruel but RUN.
Author Logithinking Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 He didn't asked her to pick her up. She wasn't working that day therefore she decided to do so. She isn't aware that I was with him on that trip. For the tattoo.. It was done in my native language which is different from them so she probably doesn't know the meaning too. His explanation for her is that he is done trying but she still wants to try. Just analyzing these makes me crazy and thanks for your insights and advice.
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