HokeyReligions Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I see this word or variations of this used frequently. I know what it means to me in the context of my life and how it came to be for my family. But how do you define it? I'm curious. How do you achieve it? How does someone achieve it with you?
Silly_Girl Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I suppose it's a constant, for a start. Erm... Not getting much further than that. 'Achieve' it? Never thought of it in that context. I suppose currently, as the relationship is fairly new, it's natural and instinctive and I can't *help* but value my husband. And I do. And to anyone who'll listen My son. He's just such a total gift to my life. Very little from him will brighten my day no end. So I don't know how to achieve it. It just is.
Grumpybutfun Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Placing value on them as a person...it has to be expressed now because so many who are broken do not love and appreciate themselves and find themselves worthless. Others are so entitled they do not place appreciation and kindness on others. I know it seems common sensical, hokey, but valuing, respecting, appreciating, and being kind to others is lacking in this me, me, me, me,money, sex, me, me, me world. When I use the term, this is what I am referring to. Feeling particularly valued tonight, Grumps 2
Quiet Storm Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I think you value what you care about the most. My definition of value would be to "emotionally invest". You don't necessarily have to value someone for positive reasons, though. You can be really emotionally invested in someone because of self worth or family of origin issues. 1
Author HokeyReligions Posted January 11, 2014 Author Posted January 11, 2014 Interesting. Thank you for replying. For me assigning value to a person is selfish. Not in a bad way. People that enrich my life in some way are valued. My husband is at the top and my dogs second. I also value those more who value me. There are people I work with who make my job easier. I value them. There are others who worked for me and I know I made an impact on them because I was there when they lost a parent and I was able to help them balance their grief with their fear of losing their job. That when my history as a grief counselor paid off. I have relatives I do not value tho some think I should by virtue of our shared genealogy. I did try to 'make' someone value me first so we could be friends. I basically made myself into a doormat. It is possible to love e someone. Even care for them but not value them- or more like devalue them. If you stop missing them when theyre gone they no longer hold any value to you. My husband and dogs are 100% valued to me. The people we know have little or no value to me because I honestly wouldn't miss them. I value loveshack because there are those who have touched my heart and those who challenge me. I was off the board for a couple of years but still value it and came back. So for me value is selfish but in a good way.
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