love_pink Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Well unfortunately (like many), when I got dumped, I went into panic mode and started begging/pleading/crying/all that bad stuff to prevent the dumpers decision. If you don't know my story - I recently got dumped by my first ever boyfriend at 17 (2 days before my 18th!) 3 weeks ago over text. And now that I look back, my actions towards him during that time were so embarrassing I can't stop looking back in regret. So I was just wondering if I maybe pushed him too far with blowing up his phone with the desperate texts? I'm 99% sure I made him angry (oops) so I wonder if that's what made him get over me so quickly and couldn't care less about me now..? I'm not expecting him to initiate contact with me anytime soon nor am I going to, but I just have all these "what if's" in my head.
mantlefan Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 The whys and what ifs will only make you suffer more. If it happens again where someone dumps you, now you know what to do.
David87 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Well unfortunately (like many), when I got dumped, I went into panic mode and started begging/pleading/crying/all that bad stuff to prevent the dumpers decision. If you don't know my story - I recently got dumped by my first ever boyfriend at 17 (2 days before my 18th!) 3 weeks ago over text. And now that I look back, my actions towards him during that time were so embarrassing I can't stop looking back in regret. So I was just wondering if I maybe pushed him too far with blowing up his phone with the desperate texts? I'm 99% sure I made him angry (oops) so I wonder if that's what made him get over me so quickly and couldn't care less about me now..? I'm not expecting him to initiate contact with me anytime soon nor am I going to, but I just have all these "what if's" in my head. By begging and pleading you justifiy his decision and to answer your question yes you pushed him away( he was already gone) . Now the only person that matters is you.
HokeyReligions Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 You can't prevent a decision that is already made. To answer your thread title ... yes. If I were the dumper and my dumpee started begging and pleading that would wipe away any doubts I had about my decision and facilitate my own rapid post-breakup healing.
pickflicker Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Absolutely. It only reinforces the dumper's decision that you are too needy. Neediness is a trait that we accept in children, because they have to be. But in adults, it repulses us. When we're dumped, we must fight our instincts to "fight" the dumpers, and go silent. Walk away. It may or may not get an ex back, that's entirely up to them. But we maintain dignity and kick start our healing. 1
erklat Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 It does. But everyone gets through it so no biggie there. It is the fact how fast you go ninja on her that counts in the long run. 1
Trapito Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 It depends, if you send 5 texts or you send 500 texts. The best way to leave a break up is to just walk away. A little questioning in the beginning is normal, after that, just cut communication. How many texts did you send?
Author love_pink Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 It depends, if you send 5 texts or you send 500 texts. The best way to leave a break up is to just walk away. A little questioning in the beginning is normal, after that, just cut communication. How many texts did you send? Definitely not 500! Haha. Well the night he broke the news to me that he wasn't happy in the relationship anymore, I probably sent about 10-15 in the span of 2-3 hours questioning about what went wrong. The next day I sent maybe 3-4 throughout the whole day. My birthday we texted normally as if nothing happened (he was probably just being nice since it was my bday lol). Christmas I send my greets and that's it. Couple days later it was just a few a day. New Years I send a simple greet. And last Friday we kinda had a serious talk about us and that's about it. We ended our communication on alright terms - not bad but not good either. Been in NC ever since because I discovered a similar site like this and finally this one. Wish I had discovered it sooner.
Trapito Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Ok, glad you didn't end with a huge blowout where he requested you stop contacting him. No need to contact anymore, you ended on good terms. Let him think of you in a nice way instead of the crazy ex. I think you did ok. No more contact from now on, because if you do, you become the crazy ex, you might want to prevent that. Just fall off his radar, don't contact him in any way. No texts, fb, drunk/pocket dials, smoke messages, pigeons. Just let him wonder. Also don't send out messages through friends or family. 2
ponchsox Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 This dumping via text thing is getting ridiculous. 2
Author love_pink Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Ok, glad you didn't end with a huge blowout where he requested you stop contacting him. No need to contact anymore, you ended on good terms. Let him think of you in a nice way instead of the crazy ex. I think you did ok. No more contact from now on, because if you do, you become the crazy ex, you might want to prevent that. Just fall off his radar, don't contact him in any way. No texts, fb, drunk/pocket dials, smoke messages, pigeons. Just let him wonder. Also don't send out messages through friends or family. Thank you for your reply, it makes me feel a lot better haha. I don't plan on contacting him first for any reason, and I highly doubt he would either. But I'm getting over it pretty quickly so I'm sure in a week or so I'll have completely forgotten about it and be over him 100%.
Trapito Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Thank you for your reply, it makes me feel a lot better haha. I don't plan on contacting him first for any reason, and I highly doubt he would either. But I'm getting over it pretty quickly so I'm sure in a week or so I'll have completely forgotten about it and be over him 100%. Hun, I hope you do. You sound strong, just be as strong as you sound. If you are having difficulties, come here before you do anything. We are here for you. You are doing great! 2
MoooOinkBaaa Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 The love of your life is being pulled away from you. It's like a get out of jail free card for being needy. 1
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