bananajoe Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Hello everybody, First of all you are great people here and you help me a lot to cope after my relationship. Second sorry for my english! So now my story. Me and my ex break up after 4 years relationship and no fighting, hating or other dirty stuff. In the first time, first 2 month, we had limited contact - no emotional talk just how are you and stuff like that. Back then i hopped we can make it and give us a second try. Then in a specific phone talk i spoke openly with her, telling her what i dont like and that i like to clean the table for a fresh start. Her reaction - she yelled me "Now it´s to late", "there will be no second try" and stuff like that. And then the next day she wrote me a sms about to harmonize. I agreed - but i decided to go from now to NC. I thought, i´m a potential sex partner and not your friend. Two weeks later i started a new job and she wrote me something like have a good start. I dont respond. Four days later she tried again and i respond now just short "thank you or so". Since then we had no contact and i was ok with the situation i accepted we split. Now the interesting part: Two weeks ago we met us on a birthday party and i said "hello" to her and i continue to party with the other people. Later that evening we talk to each other about normal stuff. But she asked me about personal issues like "ive heard you going to ..." and "you finally got your degree" we talked about for 10 min. or so. Then i said "i still have your ice skates when do you like to pick it up?" she answered "I know - what do you think about to go skating together" I said nothing but I thought "why? no! if you think we just friends - NO!". 2 days before new year she called me to tell me she needs to tell me something important i will not like. She told me she fall in love with a new guy and shes now in a new relation. I asked her why she is telling me that because shes a single and dont need to tell me such things. And i continued and tell her we have no contact since month and this not about the new guy its because we dont understand well at the moment and i think there is nothing more to talk about each other. She said she just dont want to lose contact but she dont insist and then she really asked me to decide if its ok for me to come to the new years party of my best friend?!? The next day, i took the skates and put in the front of her house and in the afternoon i called her - i was very pissed - and tell her im not going to be that guy how tells her not to come to the party but i think it is inappropriate. I also asked her "would you like to celebrate with me when im telling you - one day before the party - that i have a new girl?" And thats it. So far. But the new situation puts me 5 steps back. Why is she acting like that? Why is she open me emotionally with this date stuff to than tell me she has a new one? Im also starting thinking shes gone forever and i missed the opportunity to get back together. Im very confused right now. Im not sure if i still have strong feelings for her or im just go crazy right now? What do you people think? WHY IS SHE ACTING LIKE THAT?
Philosoraptor Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Look, she's keeping you around as an emotional tampon in case this new guy stomps on her. You are boosting her ego and allowing her to put her toe in the water rather than her having to jump in and deal with the breakup. You're doing nothing but hurting yourself by keeping in contact and allowing her to use you. You'd be best to cut all contact with her and work on moving on in your own life. 1
Chi townD Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Ignore her. She wanted to tell you personally rather than you finding out from someone else that she's dating someone. I don't know why they do this, but they do. It could be that she's probably bringing this guy with her to the party and wanted to give you a heads up so you won't go bat sh*t crazy. Just move on, dude. She's trying to friend zone you in an odd way. Block her on Facebook and ignore EVERYTHING! Time to heal and move on.
Author bananajoe Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Thank you for your answers. Of course im going to cut all contact - i´m just very upset she thinks im ok she´s having s.. with some else while have me as a emotional friend. Does she think i could be a wimp? Whats wrong with her?
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