drakecaryn Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 So of course, there's this guy and when we first met, it was great. He was perfect, he always texted me right back and answered when I called. He even took me out on dates. He was attentive, talkative, enthusiastic, and he seemed to always be the one to bring up "our future plans". He constantly reminded me that he really liked me and We continued going out but we hadn't spent time "alone" yet. He lives with his brother and I just recently moved into my own apartment. I am in college and he's about to graduate and become a master barber. When finally got to spend time at my place, he came at about 11 at night which was fine because I wanted him to sleep there. We didn't have sex until the third night. Then it all changed. He started texting me back hours later or the next day, he blames his job. I hate bothering people so I'll stop texting him for days at a time. I've talk to him about it several times and he just says he's a barber and he's always using his hands so he can't be around his phone. I don't particularly care for that excuse because that's the stupidest bull**** I've heard in my life. If you like someone, you make time right? He says he doesn't want me to stop talking to him, but he does the same thing. If I don't text or call him now we don't talk. I recently told him that I was tired of this behavior and to not call me anymore. But I'm starting to think I acted very irrationally. We haven't talked in 5 days but it may be because I said what I said. Does it mean he doesn't care or is he not contacting me because of my comments? Should I give up or apologize?
PegNosePete Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 he's a barber and he's always using his hands so he can't be around his phone. I don't particularly care for that excuse because that's the stupidest bull**** I've heard in my life. Huh? If some guy was cutting my hair and he stopped to text his GF I Would not be particularly happy. Would you? I recently told him that I was tired of this behavior and to not call me anymore. But I'm starting to think I acted very irrationally. We haven't talked in 5 days but it may be because I said what I said. Does it mean he doesn't care or is he not contacting me because of my comments? He did what you asked. Why are you surprised by this? If you want to talk to him then you shouldn't tell him not to talk to you. That's just common sense, no?
SunnySide0418 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I think you should apologize for what you said and let him know you like him and would like to continue getting to know him. Then the ball is in his court ..
MrMeh Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 So he suddenly starts becoming apathetic when you have sex. Seems like he got what he wanted.
soccerrprp Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I think you should apologize for what you said and let him know you like him and would like to continue getting to know him. Then the ball is in his court .. Forget this! Apologize??!!! Immediately after sex, his demeanor changed dramatically. He either feels that he's got you in the bag and doesn't need to do anything OR, and much more likely, considering he doesn't contact you if you don't contact him, he got you in bed, had sex, and he's done with you. He doesn't contact you!!! How can a guy who has any interest be justified in doing this? No way. When someone change his/her behavior so dramatically, it is a bad sign. 1
PegNosePete Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 He doesn't contact you!!! How can a guy who has any interest be justified in doing this? When she tells him not to contact her. Unless he is a stalker. She got exactly what she asked for (which is apparently not what she wanted).
mammasita Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I dont think you need to apologize. Let him be and move on. The barber cr@p is a lame excuse. He's not cutting hair for DAYS at a time. I can understand a couple hours, but EFF that. Exactly how long was it from the time you met until you had sex?
soccerrprp Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 When she tells him not to contact her. Unless he is a stalker. She got exactly what she asked for (which is apparently not what she wanted). Yes, after his total 180 and continued NON contact unless she contacted him. He's certainly no stalker, but he's not into her either. His actions show this. He makes lame excuses and makes no effort to show her that he cares about this....yuck. 1
Sand Man Dan Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 (edited) Actions speak louder than words. He's disinterested. You said yourself that after y'all had sex, the communication dwindled. Hours or the next day later? You're an afterthought. He doesn't get the fuzzys when he sees your name on his phone anymore. The chase is over for him. If you feel like he's disinterested, he is. Stop talking to you cause he's not a serious guy. Edited January 10, 2014 by Sand Man Dan
winny Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Your concern is genuine. What I understand is that the guy is never initiating any texts or calls from his side. Which means, if you do not initiate from your end, you guys never talk! My ex-bf was also like this. When we started a long distance relationship because I had to relocate due to my job, he just completely stopped initiating any contact. He was in school that time and will tell me that he is very very busy. If I left him alone then we wouldn't talk for days.... I used to think, even my job is pretty hectic, still I make time for him. Because I miss him and want to share things with him, hear to his voice... Doesn't he ever feel that way? I used to feel very hurt. If I asked him... because I am far away... have your feelings changed, he will say.. no nothing like that. I broke up with him when I found out that all the time when he told me he is studying and hence cannot talk to me... he was flirting/messaging random girls on Facebook! Any guy - whatever be his job - if he likes you and into you - will initiate contact with you, speak to you regularly. If he is not, something is wrong. Either he is bad in communication (which I don't believe is true in this case coz he was fine before you guys had sex) or he is taking you for granted and really is not that much into you. 1
Sand Man Dan Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Any guy - whatever be his job - if he likes you and into you - will initiate contact with you, speak to you regularly. If he is not, something is wrong. Either he is bad in communication (which I don't believe is true in this case coz he was fine before you guys had sex) or he is taking you for granted and really is not that much into you. Truth truth truth 1
Trapito Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Don't contact him! You voiced your concerns about him not texting/initiating, he gave you ****ty asshat excuse. He just wanted to get in your pants. In the future, don't do late night dates, especially not in your house (or a man's house). There will be a bed in a house and some people asume a bed means sex. Go on other dates earlier in the evening so you won't be tempted to take a man home or go over to his house. A late night date (especially in the beginning of dating) screams booty call.
Shaun-Dro Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 So of course, there's this guy and when we first met, it was great. He was perfect, he always texted me right back and answered when I called. He even took me out on dates. He was attentive, talkative, enthusiastic, and he seemed to always be the one to bring up "our future plans". He constantly reminded me that he really liked me and We continued going out but we hadn't spent time "alone" yet. He lives with his brother and I just recently moved into my own apartment. I am in college and he's about to graduate and become a master barber. When finally got to spend time at my place, he came at about 11 at night which was fine because I wanted him to sleep there. We didn't have sex until the third night. Then it all changed. He started texting me back hours later or the next day, he blames his job. I hate bothering people so I'll stop texting him for days at a time. I've talk to him about it several times and he just says he's a barber and he's always using his hands so he can't be around his phone. I don't particularly care for that excuse because that's the stupidest bull**** I've heard in my life. If you like someone, you make time right? He says he doesn't want me to stop talking to him, but he does the same thing. If I don't text or call him now we don't talk. I recently told him that I was tired of this behavior and to not call me anymore. But I'm starting to think I acted very irrationally. We haven't talked in 5 days but it may be because I said what I said. Does it mean he doesn't care or is he not contacting me because of my comments? Should I give up or apologize? You slept with him on the 3rd night. He got what he wanted in pretty good time management. Guess what else? He's about ready to move on.
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