Weightlesswings Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I just really want to tell him I miss him. I know I miss him and not just being in a relationship 100%. I just feel like I need to get it off my chest but in the back of my mind I know he knows where to find me if he wanted to talk, but maybe he's thinking the same thing I am. Should I just risk it?
ayudorama Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Please don't. Don't take that risk. There's a good probability it wouldn't change anything.
Author Weightlesswings Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Absolutely not. But why not?
RDawg Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Because... you might not get a response, or you might get one that you don't want to hear. And then you will be sad all over again. It goes against the very core of our NC philosophy.
David87 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 But why not? Because he dumped you. Even if you were the dumper I still advise you not to send an I miss you text(it's considered a breadcrumb in this situation)
polynomial Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I did this when me and my ex first broke up. It led to us getting back together only to break up later on. Well, he dumped me 4 times aftewards actually. But I guess you have to ask yourself why do you want to tell him that? Do you want to get back together? Are you ready if he doesn't reply or says something that upsets you even more?
Author Weightlesswings Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 I did this when me and my ex first broke up. It led to us getting back together only to break up later on. Well, he dumped me 4 times aftewards actually. But I guess you have to ask yourself why do you want to tell him that? Do you want to get back together? Are you ready if he doesn't reply or says something that upsets you even more? I honestly know I'm ready for no reply or for him to say something I don't want to hear. I just want to get it off my chest. I feel like if I don't say it I'll always think what if? I'm content without him but id be happier with me saying it.
Survivor12 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I honestly know I'm ready for no reply or for him to say something I don't want to hear. I just want to get it off my chest. I feel like if I don't say it I'll always think what if? I'm content without him but id be happier with me saying it. If you were truly content, you wouldn't be missing him.
Author Weightlesswings Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 If you were truly content, you wouldn't be missing him. I know that. But I meant I'm not crying over him every day and in that first really depressing stage of the break up. I'm able to go out and have fun and do the things I enjoy. But I still do miss him as he truly was my best friend.
julzfromsa Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Dont tell him that you miss him. It will make things worse for you, i can guarantee you that. Dont contact him. He broke it off with you therefore its up to him to make up. If you tell him you miss him, you are putting him in a position of power. Feeding hes ego, whilst making you look desperate. Sorry sweeti 1
pickflicker Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I know that. But I meant I'm not crying over him every day and in that first really depressing stage of the break up. I'm able to go out and have fun and do the things I enjoy. But I still do miss him as he truly was my best friend. He smokes pot and doesn't want to commit to you. He prefers weed over you. Just exactly what purpose can someone like that serve in your life?
notthathard Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Do you really want to restart your pain again? Then go for it. It sounds like a good idea, but its not. Take everyone's experienced advice from here and don't do it.
sw2020 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 No contact is definitely the best idea. But then again, you already know that. Hence posting on here.
David87 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I know that. But I meant I'm not crying over him every day and in that first really depressing stage of the break up. I'm able to go out and have fun and do the things I enjoy. But I still do miss him as he truly was my best friend. Weightlesswings he was your best friend, but he decided to abandon you... Do what you have to do, I just told you my opinion.
Survivor12 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I know that. But I meant I'm not crying over him every day and in that first really depressing stage of the break up. I'm able to go out and have fun and do the things I enjoy. But I still do miss him as he truly was my best friend. Believe me when I tell you that if you contact him now, you will end up right back where you started. It has taken me 4 years to recover after an 8 year relationship, because I kept making the mistake (lying to myself, actually) of thinking I was strong enough to contact him to remind him that I was still there. Although I did make some progress between contacts, each time, I set myself back & prolonged my healing. I haven't contact him for over a year, and when, much to my surprise, he contacted me just this week, I discovered that I really have made it to the "other side". Do I still have feelings for him? Yes, but the feelings of missing him, aching for him, needing him are gone. Our time together is now a fond memory, and now I am finally able to separate "him" from "us", and I am strong enough to realize that I don't want to go back. What I'm trying to tell you is that as long as you feel the need to say something or to "test" yourself, you're still vulnerable. Ironically, it's when you reach the point that you no longer feel driven by the "what ifs" that you can be strong. It's like a physical wound--one day you realize that it no longer hurts but have no idea when the pain went away. Stay strong & don't sabotage yourself. 1
Fufu Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I just really want to tell him I miss him. I know I miss him and not just being in a relationship 100%. I just feel like I need to get it off my chest but in the back of my mind I know he knows where to find me if he wanted to talk, but maybe he's thinking the same thing I am. Should I just risk it? Listen to your mind, and not your heart. You are right to think that if he wanted to talk, he knows where to find you. But is he? He left (he made the move) If he wants you back, he has to be the one who initiate and take the action. Not you. At the meantime, sit back and relax and move on with your life. 1
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