tommyd Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I'm confused, lost and depressed. About a week ago my girlfriend of 4 years randomly decided that she saw me only as a best friends now due to the fact we spent so much time together? there was nothing to suggest this was going to happen, yes we have our ups and downs but nothing extreme, we were deeply in love, she loved me to bits and I loved her to bits and I'm not just saying this it was the truth. I kept asking her for a reason cause I was so confused, she didn't have one she kept saying her head was messed up, I asked her if there was someone else or anything like that going on she said no, I asked this about 10 times but every time she said no. She did give me 1 sort of a reason it was due to fact I didnt believe her when she said certain things that didnt make since. Like I was ask her what she was doing and 1 minute it would be doing work and the next pealing potatos, so I would question this and she would go off on one. I had access to her Facebook at the time (i know bad of me but i did) there was nothing on there to suggest any cheating or anything so again I was still very confused. Over the last 4 years we have broken up 2 times, one time she was talking to a guy on facebook and went to meet him (they didnt do anything) another time she went driving around with guys all day and night but after a week she wanted me back saying how sorry she was and everything so each time I took her back. This time its different, she was still saying she loved me few days after we broke up and she said she was crying for 2 days straight, so i went to see her and we spent 2 hours in the car talking about us and it was all nice and happy having a laugh, I still didnt know what was going on but she kept saying she was not talking to no other guys or anything and that she didnt want to be with anyone at the moment. I accepted this and we hugged for a few minutes and gave her a kiss on the cheek and I thought we getting somewhere but I was wrong. She then lets me know that she was going out with her girl friends for a few drinks which i didnt mind but last night i was driving around and i spotted her out side a club all alone talking to guy that i know likes her and they seemd close, so i stopped just passed them and they both quickly went in side, and his friends came out, nothing happend and to be honest one of this friends was very understating because he could see my rage, he calmed me down and i drove off. Now other things which confuses me even more is, she added a guy mate on facebook i asked nicely who it was and left it at that, I added a girl mate and she kicked off on one big style what does this mean? She was a bit controlling in the relationship and VERY VERY jealous of other girls, even if there was an attractive girl on the tv she would get jealous. I did give her chances during the relationship to split up and do our own thing becuase she has not really lived her life but every time she said she wanted to be with me. Now what should I do? I need to still sort things out with her like phone bills and personal stuff?
Arieswoman Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Hi Tommyd, I'm sorry you are having a rough time of it at the moment Over the last 4 years we have broken up 2 times,So it seems she wasn't that committed to you. Move forward without her. I need to still sort things out with her like phone bills and personal stuff? She's responsible for her own bills - send her a polite msg asking when she thinks she will be paying them, and ask her to collect her personal stuff at the same time. Box it up for her so you can just hand it to her when she calls. And have you seen this book? "It's called a Break-up because it's broken" by Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt ISBN 0-00-721559-2 published by Harper-Collins It's an interesting read.
Author tommyd Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Hi Tommyd, I'm sorry you are having a rough time of it at the moment So it seems she wasn't that committed to you. Move forward without her. She's responsible for her own bills - send her a polite msg asking when she thinks she will be paying them, and ask her to collect her personal stuff at the same time. Box it up for her so you can just hand it to her when she calls. Well at the time she did not know what she was doing because I saw the facebook messages to the guy and she was talking like you would to a normal friend and he was talking to her to try and get sex out of her but she didnt see it and she still went to meet him. After everything she always begs to get back with me. See cant read guys, she is really vulnerable to be honestest this is what scares me. The only issue with that is the contracts are in my name so I have to transfer it to her, and for this to happen we have to meet up :/
Haydn Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Tommy, best off without someone who gets jealous of girls on tv. Chalk this one down to experience. As for her bills...Well are they high? If they are then yes i agree with Aires. But if its something you can cover and just move on then do it. I'm confused, lost and depressed. About a week ago my girlfriend of 4 years randomly decided that she saw me only as a best friends now due to the fact we spent so much time together? there was nothing to suggest this was going to happen, yes we have our ups and downs but nothing extreme, we were deeply in love, she loved me to bits and I loved her to bits and I'm not just saying this it was the truth. I kept asking her for a reason cause I was so confused, she didn't have one she kept saying her head was messed up, I asked her if there was someone else or anything like that going on she said no, I asked this about 10 times but every time she said no. She did give me 1 sort of a reason it was due to fact I didnt believe her when she said certain things that didnt make since. Like I was ask her what she was doing and 1 minute it would be doing work and the next pealing potatos, so I would question this and she would go off on one. I had access to her Facebook at the time (i know bad of me but i did) there was nothing on there to suggest any cheating or anything so again I was still very confused. Over the last 4 years we have broken up 2 times, one time she was talking to a guy on facebook and went to meet him (they didnt do anything) another time she went driving around with guys all day and night but after a week she wanted me back saying how sorry she was and everything so each time I took her back. This time its different, she was still saying she loved me few days after we broke up and she said she was crying for 2 days straight, so i went to see her and we spent 2 hours in the car talking about us and it was all nice and happy having a laugh, I still didnt know what was going on but she kept saying she was not talking to no other guys or anything and that she didnt want to be with anyone at the moment. I accepted this and we hugged for a few minutes and gave her a kiss on the cheek and I thought we getting somewhere but I was wrong. She then lets me know that she was going out with her girl friends for a few drinks which i didnt mind but last night i was driving around and i spotted her out side a club all alone talking to guy that i know likes her and they seemd close, so i stopped just passed them and they both quickly went in side, and his friends came out, nothing happend and to be honest one of this friends was very understating because he could see my rage, he calmed me down and i drove off. Now other things which confuses me even more is, she added a guy mate on facebook i asked nicely who it was and left it at that, I added a girl mate and she kicked off on one big style what does this mean? She was a bit controlling in the relationship and VERY VERY jealous of other girls, even if there was an attractive girl on the tv she would get jealous. I did give her chances during the relationship to split up and do our own thing becuase she has not really lived her life but every time she said she wanted to be with me. Now what should I do? I need to still sort things out with her like phone bills and personal stuff?
Author tommyd Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Tommy, best off without someone who gets jealous of girls on tv. Chalk this one down to experience. As for her bills...Well are they high? If they are then yes i agree with Aires. But if its something you can cover and just move on then do it. It would feel then like I've paid her phone bill for the year so she can talk to all the lads she wants and what have you :/ 10 month contract you see. I've spoken to her step mum and she agrees with me that what she is doing is stupid, she even said that she still loves me and just needs some space :/ so even more confusion. I've told her I'm not going to be 2nd best any more. We were so good together its been just like a light switch 1 moment all amazing, and then boom good bye thank you very much. I think its down to her mates as well, they are all single and very good looking so when they go out they are always with new guys and I think deep down she wants this fun and excitement too and wants the freedom, even know on a number of time she said she didn't, I met her when she was 17 and I was her first proper boyfriend, so shes never had a signel life I think its down to this aswell + the week before she was saying her mates are going to magaluf for the summer and I know she dosent want to be left out.
Haydn Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Ok, get the phone bill, do that. Make it business like and devoid of emotion. Forget her mates. Separate yourself from her and them Block on all social media etc.. Let her have her space. let her see what life is like. Now you work on yourself. No contact starts today. hard but crucial. You are not her puppet despite how you feel you must even pretend you dont care. Took many of us here too long to learn this. Want to spare you the pain. Haydn We were so good together its been just like a light switch 1 moment all amazing, and then boom good bye thank you very much. I think its down to her mates as well, they are all single and very good looking so when they go out they are always with new guys and I think deep down she wants this fun and excitement too and wants the freedom, even know on a number of time she said she didn't, I met her when she was 17 and I was her first proper boyfriend, so shes never had a signel life I think its down to this aswell + the week before she was saying her mates are going to magaluf for the summer and I know she dosent want to be left out.
Author tommyd Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Yes thats what I'm going to do, even at the time yesterday she still left us as in a relationship on facebook lmao changed that and removed her now. Another odd thing though, she would normally tell me 2 piss off or something last night when I turned up but she didnt say anything and her face when she saw me was like she was upset and had to walk away? Another odd thing was the guy that was messagin her last year was the guy who came out and spoke to me and he was a nice guy to be honest telling me that he will look after her and making sure she didnt do anything stupid and if she did he would tell me, dont how to take this ether he is a good guy or totaly playing me. Ok, get the phone bill, do that. Make it business like and devoid of emotion. Forget her mates. Separate yourself from her and them Block on all social media etc.. Let her have her space. let her see what life is like. Now you work on yourself. No contact starts today. hard but crucial. You are not her puppet despite how you feel you must even pretend you dont care. Took many of us here too long to learn this. Want to spare you the pain. Haydn We were so good together its been just like a light switch 1 moment all amazing, and then boom good bye thank you very much. I think its down to her mates as well, they are all single and very good looking so when they go out they are always with new guys and I think deep down she wants this fun and excitement too and wants the freedom, even know on a number of time she said she didn't, I met her when she was 17 and I was her first proper boyfriend, so shes never had a signel life I think its down to this aswell + the week before she was saying her mates are going to magaluf for the summer and I know she dosent want to be left out.
Winter blue Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Ok, get the phone bill, do that. Make it business like and devoid of emotion. Forget her mates. Separate yourself from her and them Block on all social media etc.. Let her have her space. let her see what life is like. Now you work on yourself. No contact starts today. hard but crucial. You are not her puppet despite how you feel you must even pretend you dont care. Took many of us here too long to learn this. Want to spare you the pain. Haydn ^^ this. You should start NC and cut off your loose. This sounds like a GIGS and you are better off just to give her what she asked for. The more you push the far she pull away. So stop telling her how much you love her. You can't talk someone into staying with you. Two breakups during a 4 year relationship is a red flag, hope you can learn from that too. I once had a 5 year relationship and the girl broke up with me 3 times, every time I took her back, at the end she still left me for another dude. I certainly have learnt my lesson, if someone dumped me for once, they lose me for good. One person per shot per life, that's the rule I'm setting for myself now. Stay strong. 1
Haydn Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Played. No contact. Yes thats what I'm going to do, even at the time yesterday she still left us as in a relationship on facebook lmao changed that and removed her now. Another odd thing though, she would normally tell me 2 piss off or something last night when I turned up but she didnt say anything and her face when she saw me was like she was upset and had to walk away? Another odd thing was the guy that was messagin her last year was the guy who came out and spoke to me and he was a nice guy to be honest telling me that he will look after her and making sure she didnt do anything stupid and if she did he would tell me, dont how to take this ether he is a good guy or totaly playing me.
Author tommyd Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Should i just phone her to sort this contract out or??? Played. No contact.
Haydn Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 NO no no no! an email or letter will suffice. You dont want to talk to her, trust me. If no joy with an email or letter then get a 3rd party to act on your behalf. Stay away from this toxic woman. Should i just phone her to sort this contract out or???
Author tommyd Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 NO no no no! an email or letter will suffice. You dont want to talk to her, trust me. If no joy with an email or letter then get a 3rd party to act on your behalf. Stay away from this toxic woman. Wont work the phone company needs to speak to me first then they need to speak to the new account holder there and then which is her, im not botherd about seeing her dont care anymore even if i have to meet her in some lads house just want to get it sorted.
Fufu Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I'm confused, lost and depressed. About a week ago my girlfriend of 4 years randomly decided that she saw me only as a best friends now due to the fact we spent so much time together? there was nothing to suggest this was going to happen, yes we have our ups and downs but nothing extreme, we were deeply in love, she loved me to bits and I loved her to bits and I'm not just saying this it was the truth. I kept asking her for a reason cause I was so confused, she didn't have one she kept saying her head was messed up, I asked her if there was someone else or anything like that going on she said no, I asked this about 10 times but every time she said no. She did give me 1 sort of a reason it was due to fact I didnt believe her when she said certain things that didnt make since. Like I was ask her what she was doing and 1 minute it would be doing work and the next pealing potatos, so I would question this and she would go off on one. I had access to her Facebook at the time (i know bad of me but i did) there was nothing on there to suggest any cheating or anything so again I was still very confused. Over the last 4 years we have broken up 2 times, one time she was talking to a guy on facebook and went to meet him (they didnt do anything) another time she went driving around with guys all day and night but after a week she wanted me back saying how sorry she was and everything so each time I took her back. This time its different, she was still saying she loved me few days after we broke up and she said she was crying for 2 days straight, so i went to see her and we spent 2 hours in the car talking about us and it was all nice and happy having a laugh, I still didnt know what was going on but she kept saying she was not talking to no other guys or anything and that she didnt want to be with anyone at the moment. I accepted this and we hugged for a few minutes and gave her a kiss on the cheek and I thought we getting somewhere but I was wrong. She then lets me know that she was going out with her girl friends for a few drinks which i didnt mind but last night i was driving around and i spotted her out side a club all alone talking to guy that i know likes her and they seemd close, so i stopped just passed them and they both quickly went in side, and his friends came out, nothing happend and to be honest one of this friends was very understating because he could see my rage, he calmed me down and i drove off. Now other things which confuses me even more is, she added a guy mate on facebook i asked nicely who it was and left it at that, I added a girl mate and she kicked off on one big style what does this mean? She was a bit controlling in the relationship and VERY VERY jealous of other girls, even if there was an attractive girl on the tv she would get jealous. I did give her chances during the relationship to split up and do our own thing becuase she has not really lived her life but every time she said she wanted to be with me. Now what should I do? I need to still sort things out with her like phone bills and personal stuff? Sometimes, when a couple is together for a period of time, there are chances where one partner may start to lose the feel or spark out of a sudden. (of course there could be other possibilities/reasons as well where the person just refuse to say) Whatever it is, the person has made the decision for himself/herself that this relationship is no longer that important to him/her to hold on to. While the truth hurts, it's always best to respect the person decision and also to save oneself from even more hurt (Never be in a relationship with a person who longer shares the same mentality as you in wanting to keep the relationship going on) - A relationship takes 2 to make it work. My only advice for you now is to get away from her. As anything about her will only mess up your emotional well being (in a bad way). Focus on yourself.
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