nodakguy Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 I'm leaning towards no. Long story short: Whirlwhind romace between us, great (no, awesome!) the first three weeks, then ... she gets cold/distant around week three. Becomes clear she's still dealing with the hurt of an ex who cheated on her ... a relationship that ended about 3 months prior (August). The "I'm not ready for a relationship" bomb gets dropped. I know, I know ... "rebound", right? Well, I've disappeared and done NC (OK, VLC; very limited contact) for a solid 2 months+ ... and then a hand-made Christmas card shows up. New Years wishes soon follow via email. Three days later, on my birthday (I was floored she remembered!) a phonecall exactly one minute after "evening minutes" start on the cell plan. I figured, ... the holidays right? ... that's it. But my phone rang again tonight. Lighthearted, joking message left (as I've tried to keep the minimal contact to this point). Do I call back or not? She's a keeper, but I'm a hooked sucker. She just moved 5 1/2 hrs. away, is moving into a new place, and just started a new job ... so why after almost a month of not talking, would she start calling again? Her last relationship ended with an LDR (the cheater while she was away), so why in the world would she even keep in contact with me if she's even remotely considering LDR again? The other consideration is ... she's just keeping in touch and making casual conversation to reassure herself that she didn't stomp the $**T out of me (which she did). Or ... the new job, new location, no freinds there is a bit lonely. Thus, ... call back, or no? Any responses ASAP would be great. Thanks.
Sukotto Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 I'm guessing she probably feels a bit lonely at her new place away from her friends? Though you've not really given enough info for that. Call back is purely up to you, would you want a LDR if it potentially came to that? I think that unless she has resolved the issues with trust that she would have with a LDR then its just going to end in more pain for you. Have you been looking about for other woman? I'm a strong believer that dating another woman is the best way to get over the pain of a relationship. Though make your intentions clear to the new person if it starts getting serious.
Author nodakguy Posted January 10, 2005 Author Posted January 10, 2005 I would do an LDR ... if ... and only IF, she indicated that she was willing to do the same. I'm currently a graduate student (almost done), and the area she moved to (near metro MN) is a far better place for me to find a job than my current location. She knows that. I also know that the job she took was one to "get her foot in the door", so to speak, and not one she necessarily would plan on staying with long-term. We're both at early stages of our careers, and that makes everything quite difficult. But one of the things I admire and respect about her is her desire to persue her career. She knows that too. We both want to stay in the general area, partly because of family ties; one of many, many reasons she grabbed my heart. I just don't know if she wants to hang onto it. Given that phonecalls still come, I question whether she's ready to let it go. Haven't called back yet.
Author nodakguy Posted January 10, 2005 Author Posted January 10, 2005 And to answer your questions ... Yeah, I've reckoned with the notion that she just doesn't want it anymore. And yes, I've left myself open to meeting other women. I'm gettting to know a couple others as we speak/chat. One's quite promising, to be honest. Early stages, but it keeps me optimistic that if one doesn't work out, another just might ... and that's just about as simple as it gets!!!
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