wynaut22 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Like many people, I always dream about having a love that lasts years and years. My parents divorced when I was about 4 years old (my mom was the one who asked for it) and I saw all the awful effects it had on them; my father became an alcoholic and attempted to commit suicide (I thank God everyday that he failed) and he has given up on finding another relationship, and my mother is a very lonely person and has had quite a few unhealthy relationships that have failed and I've been there watching all this happen the entire time. In addition to this I am always hearing about failing marriages and people falling out of love with each other and all this has made me feel pessimistic about love. But my aunt and uncle have been married 40 years, my grandparents have also been married 40 years, my cousin and his girlfriend have been together for 9 years and my friend and his girlfriend have been together for 9 years. I really want to have what they have someday and I always wonder how they do it. My current boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and I want it to last a long time and feel like it has the potential to. I've had many boyfriends before him but he is the best one I've ever had and the only one I would want a future with. He is faithful, loyal, respectful, patient, and he doesn't flirt around with other girls. His parents are divorced too and his father was physically abusive and cheated on his mother. My boyfriend told me that after seeing what his mother went through, he promised himself to always respect women. I had an abusive, cheating ex and he knows about this and is patient with me when I get paranoid but he has proved to me that I can trust him. He said once that he "imagines living his life with me". But I can't seem to stop having pessimistic thoughts about love...that he will get bored of being with the same one person and leave, he will get sick of me once he stops feeling the "sparks" and excitement (which is inevitable anyway), that he will one day just tell me he doesn't love me anymore and leave, possibly after a year or more of my invested time and emotions and will leave me a wreck. But he has never given me any reasons to think this would happen and he has reassured me and told me that he loves me too much to leave. I would really like to be able to have faith in love but for some reason, maybe because of what I have heard and what I watched my parents go through, I feel like I will end up getting crushed someday and what I want is either super rare or just doesn't exist. How can I start changing my attitude about this? And does anyone have any successful stories or experiences to maybe make me feel better? Thank you
soccerrprp Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 How can I start changing my attitude about this? And does anyone have any successful stories or experiences to maybe make me feel better? Thank you Will hearing success story help you? Well, you gave four of your own. See below. But my aunt and uncle have been married 40 years, my grandparents have also been married 40 years, my cousin and his girlfriend have been together for 9 years and my friend and his girlfriend have been together for 9 years. I really want to have what they have someday and I always wonder how they do it. Why focus on the break ups when you have four examples of things working out. Why don't you ask them how they do it and share it with us ?
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