MoooOinkBaaa Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 (edited) Anyone else feel wrong to talk to friends and family about your break-up/X after 3-4 months. Edited January 9, 2014 by MoooOinkBaaa
polynomial Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Why do you feel.its wrong? its been 1.5 months since my BU and at this.point i just feel imannoying them when.i talk about my ex..
Author MoooOinkBaaa Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 Yeah I feel that way too. I just feel like people expect you to be over it by now, specially how far away the break-up feels now going into 2014. I guess we are on our own from here on out.
freebird31 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I'm 8 months going on 9 since the break up. I'm not Fully over it. It's been a roller coaster. It takes time to heal. I thought I'd be healed a year after the breakup , but it's looking like it might take longer...if friends don't understand, that's cus they haven't been there. Just post on here. I feel like I'm better understood on here than wining To my friends.
Omei Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I'm like in month 11 or 12 I lost count and its good im losing count I get what you mean tho I couldn't talk to my family about it after the first month it was like old news and I didn't start feeling better till month 7. They would see me and be like what's got you down? Or id have to have happy so often it was tiring Lucky for me I have the coolest best friend in the world and she would let me cry for months actually since my breakup me and my friend hang out twice a week sometimes more than we did when I was in a relationship and she became my anti crying cuz id always be happy when she was around. I'm lucky to have her. 2
JDPT Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I talk to everyone and anyone even stranger about my ex. I don't bad mouth her. I simply vent getting the crap out, it's all about ME. 7
PS.chicago Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I'm also a talker. I love to vent to anyone who will listen. In hindsight, there are some people I wish I'd rather held my lip about it. 4
LostConfused123 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 LOL!!! I couldn't talk to my family about it from day 1. . . seriously, five minutes after talking with my mom about "him" she said. . "okay, that's enough. Stop talking about it, join a dating site and find someone else" Oh jeez!! of course, why didn't I think of that??? She's so genius!!! (sarcasm!!) Seriously, I love my mom but WTF????
2fargone Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I'm just not much of a talker at all. I did vent to people shortly after. But I soon came to realize that they can't understand it anyway, and at some point I just didn't see the point anymore to keep talking about it.
Winter blue Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I understand what OP was talking about. It's common after 3, 4 months people around you expect you to be over it, but you can always talk to your close friends. You gotta find yourself a BU buddy of some kind, or at least come here. On another hand I find it not so helpful after a while to keep talking about my ex. It would make me feel worse afterwards. So now I hang with a different group of people who don't know my ex and I feel much happier when I hang with them. And when I do see my old friends (mutual friends of my ex) I keep my mouth shut most of the time on anything my ex related. Most of those friends are thoughtful enough to not bring up my ex anymore neither. But a few close friends would still check on me once in a while. Can't emphasis enough how important to have good friends around when you are hurt from a BU. 1
seekingpeaceinlove Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 There are about 3 friends of mine who have had the pleasure of hearing me curse, cry, vent, whine, and reminisce about my ex in the last 5 months. I kind of spread the BU talk evenly amongst the 3, so I don't think I've overloaded anyone in particular. Lol. Nowadays, I only bring up ex once in a while to friends and post on LS if I feel the need to let something out. Thank goodness for LS, the place to vent till your hearts content. Luckily, though, I'm finding myself thinking of ex less and less. 2
radiodarcy Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Yes. I know there shouldn't be a time limit as to how long it takes to get over a relationship. And yes everyone gets dumped, but unless someone is actually going through the healing process, it's very difficult to relate to the roller coaster of emotions that you experience post break up. Which is why family and friends tell us to "get over it". Easier said than done. After having heard those words one time too many (which only made me feel worse), I simply stopped discussing the matter with them and posted here on LS instead.
Petunia20 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I'm on 6 months now of NC and I still talk about him to my friends and family. Not as much as the beginning but I do bring him up at times. Its a process. There is no time frame for getting over someone or a relationship. As the months pass by you will feel better. Vent to whoever will listen even if its strangers. You will feel bette and at times get a different insight about things. Good luck and believe me, we've all felt the same pain. 1
erklat Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I can't talk about X anymoar. But in the past couple of days i feel some kind of bliss? Maybe I'm on a brink of acceptance though I'm afraid there will be lows again couple of times. Also I consider advice here more relevant than what people around tell me. Maybe advice here harbours a bit more hope, but if the recon is plausible option, so is advice here.
mutualove Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Make that 2 months!only 3 people know about my situation and i can't bring it up anymore without getting the feeling "oh jeez he's talking about it again why isn't he over her already??" But having a close friend especially an opposite sex one can really be helpful.Personally i find talking about how you're messed up in the head because of someone else is a sign of weakness,and it really is.No one should have that kind of power over you,no one.
Itspointless Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I understand what OP was talking about. It's common after 3, 4 months people around you expect you to be over it ... In my experience this also holds true when someone dies: I lost my mother by a severe illness when I was an adolescent. At a certain moment, people do not ask any-more, and many expect you to be fine again. I often heard people say. The situation was hard, but you are young, you have lots of energy and are still resilient. Yeah, of-course. Can you tell me where I have that energy, because I seem to have lost it. Well that was at least what I thought back then. Most people cannot handle it when people talk about loss. It probably has to do with the fact that we life in cultures that focus on malleability. Existential questions and questions concerning loss direct people their attention to things they cannot control and have any influence on. In other words when you talk about topics like these they have to face their own fears and/or buried emotions they couldn't control. It is far easier for people to ignore than to engage. 1
Trapito Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 (edited) If your ex is ALL you talk about, than yes it CAN annoying for friends and family. I'm not saying that you are annoying them, but there is always a possibility. But most of them will still gladly listen to you because they understand you need to vent. LS is an excellent place to vent and to get the best advice and insight. If you feel like you are bothering your friends and family, just ask them if you are being annoying or come here. And no, 3 or 4 months is still pretty fresh so I don't think it is weird if you want to talk or vent. You are still hurting which is totally normal. Edited January 12, 2014 by Trapito 1
sugarpea Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I don't think there's a time limit on it. If your friends and family are caring and understanding they will get that you need to speak about it with someone and will be there for you. Everyone has their own healing process and some people just take longer than others and it's really dependent on the length and how intense/serious the relationship was.
DannyCA Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Well its been about 11 months for me. And while I can say I am much much better than I was for the first 8 or 9 months or so, I'm still not completely over her. If we both grow as individuals and reconnect in the future that would be amazing, but we both have some maturing and growing to do, but I have to live my life as if I will never see her again. I have some exciting changes to my life coming soon. Hopefully it turns out good! 1
amtz Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Its been 1.5 months for me and still talk about it every now and then with my mom... Feel 20% better now... For me I enjoy to talk about my experience and listen from them too!! It has always helped me to hear stories from complete strangers, makes you understand that if you had it rough they had it twice as rough than you!! God bless everyone! Will pray for you!
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