Woggle Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 My mpther always used that little quote "Say what you mean and mean what you say". When I think about playing games in a relationship I.think.of juvenile things like flirti.g eith the bartender to.make your boyfriend jealous. I'm an honest person by nature and I'd certainly hate to hurt people I care about or deceive them in any way so I don't play games. It doesnt feel right to me so I don't do it. Ive never had a boring LTR so I dont need to.employ juvenile tactics in hopes of keeping the spark alive. My response would be to tell the bartender she's all yours so flirt away.
ThaWholigan Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Not every game is as dastardly as some of you are making out Like I said, in a lot of cases it depends on the games you're willing to play. I'm not against playing them, even though it's not my immediate dynamic. They can be fun - it's a game after all. Everyone has their boundaries. 1
Woggle Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 If I want games I will play Grand Theft Auto 5. 1
HokeyReligions Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 WAIT! I remember a game I played with several boyfriends. You hang up. no you hang up first. No You! Ok. We'll hang up together. 1. 2. 3! You didn't hang up! Well neither did you. ok. Let's try again..... you hang up. No you hang up first....... 3
bubbaganoosh Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I think that being 32 years old is a bit old to be playing high school games. She, some day may play herself out of a good man and then she can go back to the twit who gave her this sound advice and either ask for more or grow up. Actually if she continues with it, I would tell her that you outgrew these kinds of games back in the 7th grade and let her know that if she wants to play then find another playmate because your a big boy now. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 My mpther always used that little quote "Say what you mean and mean what you say". When I think about playing games in a relationship I.think.of juvenile things like flirti.g eith the bartender to.make your boyfriend jealous. I'm an honest person by nature and I'd certainly hate to hurt people I care about or deceive them in any way so I don't play games. It doesnt feel right to me so I don't do it. Ive never had a boring LTR so I dont need to.employ juvenile tactics in hopes of keeping the spark alive. My response would be to tell the bartender she's all yours so flirt away. My response would be to tell the bartender she's all yours so flirt away. You know Woggle, telling a hypothetical girlfriend that could be considered part of playing a game. Your woman first with another man or whatever in front of you. You let her go and either ignore her or talk to the pretty woman next to you. That, my friend, is a game.
Woggle Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 You know Woggle, telling a hypothetical girlfriend that could be considered part of playing a game. Your woman first with another man or whatever in front of you. You let her go and either ignore her or talk to the pretty woman next to you. That, my friend, is a game. It's not a game with me. She will be dumped on the spot. It doesn't get anymore clear and direct than that.
nomadic_butterfly Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 It really depends on what kind of "games" she likes to play but in my experience, serious, decisive, relationship minded people don't entertain games unless it's for recreational purposes. I'd suggest you don't get too serious with this woman because she gave you the disclaimer from the beginning so you have only yourself to blame if she lives up to it. It's kind of sad at 32 she thinks highschool behavior is the norm. It's a precursor of tomfoolery to come...
Stealth3 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I hate it when they play games and try to mind **** you. They know your interested and they act interested then they back off all of the sudden and when you're about to move on, they give you breadcrums and you get invested again, then they disappear because they found the next best thing. And you have no idea wtf happened because you've been played.
SJC2008 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Every girl on the planet plays games The ones that say they don't are full of ****, smart guys just play dumb Once I seen this thread I knew you'd be posting in it. It's funny how you act like you're so mature but mostly all you do is post in ***game/drama threads***. You couldn't buy a date, stop theory crafting... With your philosophy and track record, I'd invest in some cats since you don't obviously have a clue. All human interactions can be described as a game. You can even game yourself which you are doing now Couldn't buy a date? Philosophy and track record?? He's married bro.
ponchsox Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I just dont wanna believe this coming from a 32 year old single mother who I started seeing last month, but this is what she claims makes relationships as they are today and without them people will grow bored and quit. I'm curious as to hear what people have to say or feel about this. PS- so far she hasn't done anything except seldom respond to texts but yet she's wondering why I dont text all the time? This could be the initial stages . A single mom is in no situation to be playing games, sorry. 1
Teraskas Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 A single mom is in no situation to be playing games, sorry. My thoughts exactly. On top of that imo, mature people who KNOW what they want don't play games. It goes to show you what kind of maturity the individual who does such things possesses, and becomes apparent that they've never made it past the high school phase.
Poppygoodwill Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 (edited) If I were you I wouldn't be worried about whether or not it's true generally, but about whether it's true for her personally. And then what sorts of games she likes to play. I'd be worried that in fact she's is a person who is tricky and will mess with your head (ie. by always keeping herself slightly out of reach so that you're always slightly off balance wondering whether she likes you or not) and just knows to justify and rationalize her behaviour from the start. Sort of like saying "Men *like* women who are bitches". The only women I have ever heard declare that are those who come across as overly demanding, hyper-critical control freaks. Therefore, in my experience, as a woman whose has had friends over the years who like to mess with men, I would say that she's just justifying bitchy behaviour. If you hang around long enough, you'll find out for yourself. Edited January 10, 2014 by Poppygoodwill
Mrlonelyone Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 (edited) Could she have been talking in the sense of mathematical game theory? Don't dismiss that possibility even if she was speking more from intuition. In the sense of mathematical Game theory every relationship between two rational actors is a game. Game theory - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Game theory is a study of strategic decision making. More formally, it is "the study of mathematical models of conflict and cooperation between intelligent rational decision-makers".[1] An alternative term suggested "as a more descriptive name for the discipline" is interactive decision theory.[2] Game theory is mainly used in economics, political science, and psychology, as well as logic and biology. The subject first addressed zero-sum games, such that one person's gains exactly equal net losses of the other participant(s). Today, however, game theory applies to a wide range of behavioral relations, and has developed into an umbrella term for the logical side of decision science, to include both human and non-humans, like computers.How that would apply to relationships. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ambigamy/200909/love-and-game-theory-why-breaking-is-often-harsh-do ...... One key can be found in the Prisoner's Dilemma, the simple core model in an important research field called Game Theory. To get a sense of Prisoner's dilemma, imagine a game of rock, paper, scissors but with only two options. One is the peace sign which translates as "I'm cooperating with you." The other is a familiar one-finger sign which stands for "I'm competing with you." If you both throw down peace signs you both win points which is the object of the game. But you win far more points when your opposite throws down the peace sign and you throw down the other sign. That is, when you compete with someone who is cooperating you take them to the cleaners because their guard is down. So why not just throw down the other sign consistently? Because if you and the other party both throw down the other sign you both lose. And if you're playing over and over the losses add up. So which should you throw down? Should you be cooperative or competitive? ...... In the high-stakes game of romance, the temptation to cooperate at the beginning is very strong. That's what makes new lovers surge toward each other. Every inch toward greater intimacy is an inch toward greater endorsement. Trouble is, once you've surged all the way in there's no place to go but out, and every inch backing out can feels like an uber-disendorsement. Once the backing out begins, it's eat or be eaten. That's a key to why couples breaking up are often so critical. If it's any comfort, the risk of uber-disendorsement comes with the game's territory. Sure, sometimes people behave so badly they deserve the uber-disendorsement that comes at the end, but often they don't. If game theory sounds vaguely familiar it is likely because the main character in the movie "A Beautiful Mind" John Nash studied game theory and won a Nobel prize for it. He came up with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nash_equilibrium#Prisoner.27s_dilemma In the relationship game where we either choose to cooperate or compete. The Nash equlibria are either to both compete (give the finger) and walk away, or both cooperate (give the pece sign) and keep playing. Looking at love as an example of mathematical game theory...the trick is to find someone we can settle into Nash equilibrium with where we cooperate again and again. Ain't math grand. Edited January 10, 2014 by Mrlonelyone
Author Easyguy14 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 See my signature line for what I say about that. Grown people do not want petty drama, games about calling on the phone etc etc. However, they also don't want to be bored by a relationship. It is also human nature to slowly devalue any resource that is always available. Including human resources. So, to keep a relationship spicy you need to not be so available, not be a pushover, at least hint that you might like to look at other people sometimes... and so forth. People hate when this happens but it keeps emotions high. Ever heard of people who get turned on by arguments and will argue and fight just to make up with sex. Sex After Arguing « Modern Love: Sex & Relationships A funny look at this. This kinds of stuff doesn't always work. I think it depends on the woman. I do know that the ignoring game gets to them because I've been guilty of doing that on a few occasions but only because I was upset, not to play a head game in the way that some women purposely do to men just so he'll pursue them harder.
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