Easyguy14 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I just dont wanna believe this coming from a 32 year old single mother who I started seeing last month, but this is what she claims makes relationships as they are today and without them people will grow bored and quit. I'm curious as to hear what people have to say or feel about this. PS- so far she hasn't done anything except seldom respond to texts but yet she's wondering why I dont text all the time? This could be the initial stages .
BlametheIrish Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Maybe to her playing games comes naturally. I still think playing games is a very immature way to act around a significant other or potential SO.. I'd be the one to quit when I realize d someone was playing games. I've got no time for that bs. 9
Keenly Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I would tell her my favorite game is the find some one else game. She should bottle that up and sell it to the OFF! Company as man repellant. 6
ExpatInItaly Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I'm also a 32-year-old woman. And I totally disagree with her. 6
pteromom Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 this is what she claims makes relationships as they are today and without them people will grow bored and quit. I would find out if she truly thinks this for herself, or if she is just making commentary about the nature of modern relationships, and if she really believes that is the way to be, I'd stop seeing her.
Versacehottie Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I just dont wanna believe this coming from a 32 year old single mother who I started seeing last month, but this is what she claims makes relationships as they are today and without them people will grow bored and quit. I'm curious as to hear what people have to say or feel about this. PS- so far she hasn't done anything except seldom respond to texts but yet she's wondering why I dont text all the time? This could be the initial stages . Do you think it's possible that she meant unless you have been clear about what you want from her relationship-wise and where you see the relationship going, that she means for you to pursue her which presents itself as what looks like game-playing? More on the old-fashioned view of the spectrum of what women do; however, i can see logic with that. Though I can't see why she would point it out. If you want to be pursued in more of an old-fashioned way, you let the guy do his thing at his comfort level and see if it meets your standard. It doesn't really make sense to expect him to initiate all but then badger him about it also. If she truly means game playing, then I can see your frustration. I'm thinking maybe what she said has gotten a little misconstrued? Hopefully
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Depends on the game . . . strip poker is a fun game to play in a relationship. There's always a bit of back & forth -- a volley if you will -- & that's kind of like a game. So to some extent she's right. Playing hard to get & gaming when you are going to respond are childish. Being hard to get is another animal in it's entirety. 1
Author Easyguy14 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 Do you think it's possible that she meant unless you have been clear about what you want from her relationship-wise and where you see the relationship going, that she means for you to pursue her which presents itself as what looks like game-playing? More on the old-fashioned view of the spectrum of what women do; however, i can see logic with that. Though I can't see why she would point it out. If you want to be pursued in more of an old-fashioned way, you let the guy do his thing at his comfort level and see if it meets your standard. It doesn't really make sense to expect him to initiate all but then badger him about it also. If she truly means game playing, then I can see your frustration. I'm thinking maybe what she said has gotten a little misconstrued? Hopefully I don't see how it could get mixed up when she said pretty clearly to me a few nights ago on the phone. She also made a point to admit that every woman plays games whether they realize it or not and that the games do vary depending on said woman. Hearing this from a 32 year old I have to begin to wonder about the validity of her opinion or if it's a fact and not an opinion at all.
Ok Good Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Great that she told you this! Now you can ask HER what games does she play?? or games she expects will be played on her.. either way you'll get some valuable info on her mindset and what she is suspicious of Good luck!
CptSaveAho Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Every girl on the planet plays games The ones that say they don't are full of ****, smart guys just play dumb 2
soccerrprp Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I just dont wanna believe this coming from a 32 year old single mother who I started seeing last month, but this is what she claims makes relationships as they are today and without them people will grow bored and quit. I'm curious as to hear what people have to say or feel about this. PS- so far she hasn't done anything except seldom respond to texts but yet she's wondering why I dont text all the time? This could be the initial stages . Well, the unfortunate thing is that too many people DO play games and DO think it's part of dating. I think it's BS and have not and do not play mind games.
pickflicker Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I mirror a guy's level of affection. I let him take the initiative and take the lead. For the first few weeks at least, I don't initiate contact, I let them again, be the man and take the lead. That could be construed as game playing *shrugs*. But it works. Dating is more like a dance, rather than a game.
HokeyReligions Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Every girl on the planet plays games The ones that say they don't are full of ****, smart guys just play dumb I do not play games. I detest them. So does my husband.
Woggle Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 By her an Xbox. I like this. I think I am just too real to play games with anybody and I expect the same from any woman I am with. There is no pretense or fakeness to me and I can't tolerate it in others very easily.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 See my signature line for what I say about that. Grown people do not want petty drama, games about calling on the phone etc etc. However, they also don't want to be bored by a relationship. It is also human nature to slowly devalue any resource that is always available. Including human resources. So, to keep a relationship spicy you need to not be so available, not be a pushover, at least hint that you might like to look at other people sometimes... and so forth. People hate when this happens but it keeps emotions high. Ever heard of people who get turned on by arguments and will argue and fight just to make up with sex. Sex After Arguing « Modern Love: Sex & Relationships A funny look at this. 1
ThaWholigan Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I think people's responses are quite typical. Noble, but typical. My answer? It depends. On the games you like to play. It's all part of the cyclical nature of interpersonal interactions, particularly with someone you're in a relationship with. An argument here, a delay in courting there etc. I get that some people don't like to beat around the bush. I'm like that sometimes, I like to get to the meat and potatoes rather than play with the stew and savor it for too long. But I like the variety too, and I will savor that gravy . Playing games is not something I completely avoid. It just depends on the type of games that are being played. What's your game? Seems lots of people here like to play a game of "straight up". That's all good .
Woggle Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I think people's responses are quite typical. Noble, but typical. My answer? It depends. On the games you like to play. It's all part of the cyclical nature of interpersonal interactions, particularly with someone you're in a relationship with. An argument here, a delay in courting there etc. I get that some people don't like to beat around the bush. I'm like that sometimes, I like to get to the meat and potatoes rather than play with the stew and savor it for too long. But I like the variety too, and I will savor that gravy . Playing games is not something I completely avoid. It just depends on the type of games that are being played. What's your game? Seems lots of people here like to play a game of "straight up". That's all good . I am being 100% serious. I actually think I am incapable of beating around the bush and BSing around. It's not who I am.
ThaWholigan Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I am being 100% serious. I actually think I am incapable of beating around the bush and BSing around. It's not who I am. I'm sure you're serious. It's your game - the rules of your game is no BS. It works for you because it's the only game you're comfortable playing. It's also a game that is preferred from a moralistic point of view. As we know though, for a lot of people, a person's morals =/= attraction. 1
Woggle Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I'm sure you're serious. It's your game - the rules of your game is no BS. It works for you because it's the only game you're comfortable playing. It's also a game that is preferred from a moralistic point of view. As we know though, for a lot of people, a person's morals =/= attraction. The thing is that it's not a game. It's who I am. 1
ThaWholigan Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 The thing is that it's not a game. It's who I am. Sure man. I'm just saying that games could indeed be a natural dynamic for some people. It helps me to see all social interactions as games within games - if it's an intrinsic part of who you are (or simply "who you are" as you put it), then fair enough. Pickflicker had a good analogy too, likening it more to a dance than a game. To some people it's a dance, an art. To others, it's a game. I can see the difference in how people do it - for some it looks like an art, or a dance, or even a piece of music. While some definitely look like their playing a game, of the heart or of the mind. It's up to you to find someone that fits your dynamic. Like, for me, I'm not a "gameplayer" in the sense that I derive no pleasure out of manipulating people for my gain alone, particularly where relationships and dating are concerned. I'm quite concrete and transparent about what I want. I prefer to.......hmmm, dance maybe? . I was never much of a dancer either . There's an art to it, certainly. 2
CptSaveAho Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I love how people say they dont play games yet they have 8000 + posts here on ls and posting in the dating forum... guess your life of not playing games is really working out for you huh? 1
BlametheIrish Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 My mpther always used that little quote "Say what you mean and mean what you say". When I think about playing games in a relationship I.think.of juvenile things like flirti.g eith the bartender to.make your boyfriend jealous. I'm an honest person by nature and I'd certainly hate to hurt people I care about or deceive them in any way so I don't play games. It doesnt feel right to me so I don't do it. Ive never had a boring LTR so I dont need to.employ juvenile tactics in hopes of keeping the spark alive.
Woggle Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I love how people say they dont play games yet they have 8000 + posts here on ls and posting in the dating forum... guess your life of not playing games is really working out for you huh? When I started being real in my life is when things fell into place. I don't play games but I am also quick to not put up with any crap. I am always 100% honest with women. If I say I will do something I will do it and they know it. That goes for having a backbone. There are certain things that mean instant divorce with me and I mean it and stand behind it. They respect that and respect is the number one factor for how are treated in life.
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