kjackson1 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 So my ex and I were together for over 2 1/2 years. We rushed into things and were with eachothe all the time. We basically lived together. When we finally moved in with eachother we became very complacent and lost respect for each other. I was stressed with school and work and I know I wasn't there for her like I should have been. I was a real jerk in front of her friends and family. I know I messed up. She broke up with me and kept giving mixed signals so I went no contact for 3 months. She tried to reach out to me but I never responded. I was heart broken, I put my focuses on business school and met some new friends. I eventually got over what happened between us. We recently started talking again because she missed me a lot. When we hang out it feels like it did before. We spend the night with eachother but we only cuddle. She will kiss me on my back but she tells me something is holding her back from being intimate with me. She said she wants to be with me but something is holding her back She recently told me that she found someone else attractive and all she could think about was what was going to happen between us. She is going through a lot right now with applying to nursing school and moving. We confide in each other for a lot of emotional support. So its hard for us to let go. We agreed to go no contact once school starts again. What do you think about the situation? Any advice greatly appreciated.
jphcbpa Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 sounds like it will be painful. she misses you, but still does not know what she wants.
Chi townD Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 You're not going to like it, but you need to lose her. I mean, that's a kick in the nuts when you're with her and cuddling up but then she tells you she's interested in someone else? I would have gotten up and left at that moment because you weren't going to win that one. Thing is, neither of you want to get close to each other and keep each other at arms length because you know what's coming. You're going to separate schools and will be away from each other. She's admitting the temptation is too great for her and if you were the other guy, she probably would have been intimate. Therefore, she holding out and holding onto that possibility and doesn't want to be confused if she lets things progress with you. Dude, time to move on. Stick to your guns when NC starts. She will reach out to you, you need to ignore it.
Mondmellonw Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 So my ex and I were together for over 2 1/2 years. We rushed into things and were with eachothe all the time. We basically lived together. When we finally moved in with eachother we became very complacent and lost respect for each other. I was stressed with school and work and I know I wasn't there for her like I should have been. I was a real jerk in front of her friends and family. I know I messed up. She broke up with me and kept giving mixed signals so I went no contact for 3 months. She tried to reach out to me but I never responded. I was heart broken, I put my focuses on business school and met some new friends. I eventually got over what happened between us. We recently started talking again because she missed me a lot. When we hang out it feels like it did before. We spend the night with eachother but we only cuddle. She will kiss me on my back but she tells me something is holding her back from being intimate with me. She said she wants to be with me but something is holding her back She recently told me that she found someone else attractive and all she could think about was what was going to happen between us. She is going through a lot right now with applying to nursing school and moving. We confide in each other for a lot of emotional support. So its hard for us to let go. We agreed to go no contact once school starts again. What do you think about the situation? Any advice greatly appreciated. As jphcbpa already told you, she is confused. She has to stick to something... Either if it is staying with you or meeting new guys. If you are sure about wanting to be with her, you should wait for her to clear her mind. Don't stay near by now.
smuggy95 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 this is such a set up for the 'I love you but i'm not in love with you' talk... which sucks.
Author kjackson1 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 I know she is really confused, her words explain it all. I know I have to let her figure it out on her own. It's just a tough pill to swallow. I thought I was over her but I know I'm not.
lauri Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 So my ex and I were together for over 2 1/2 years. We rushed into things and were with eachothe all the time. We basically lived together. When we finally moved in with eachother we became very complacent and lost respect for each other. I was stressed with school and work and I know I wasn't there for her like I should have been. I was a real jerk in front of her friends and family. I know I messed up. She broke up with me and kept giving mixed signals so I went no contact for 3 months. She tried to reach out to me but I never responded. I was heart broken, I put my focuses on business school and met some new friends. I eventually got over what happened between us. We recently started talking again because she missed me a lot. When we hang out it feels like it did before. We spend the night with eachother but we only cuddle. She will kiss me on my back but she tells me something is holding her back from being intimate with me. She said she wants to be with me but something is holding her back She recently told me that she found someone else attractive and all she could think about was what was going to happen between us. She is going through a lot right now with applying to nursing school and moving. We confide in each other for a lot of emotional support. So its hard for us to let go. We agreed to go no contact once school starts again. What do you think about the situation? Any advice greatly appreciated. Arg...so unfair what she is doing. A lot of times this has happened to me or my friends, the girl keeps us around until she finds some new guy that she can be with and jumps ship. She's scared to lose you as her safety net so she is doing anything to keep you around. Confusion normally means her interest level is low in you. She likes you enough to be friends and use you for emotional support - but isn't interested enough in you to be physical. To be honest, the longer you stay around and are available, the further you will be from ever having a chance with her again. By her saying she can't be intimate with you it means that she may wish she could feel the same way with you as she used to but can't. I hate to say this, but you need to cut her lose and move onto a girl who will not be as confused and has a high interest level in you. When a girl is interested, she makes it easy for you not hard. 4
Author kjackson1 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 Arg...so unfair what she is doing. A lot of times this has happened to me or my friends, the girl keeps us around until she finds some new guy that she can be with and jumps ship. She's scared to lose you as her safety net so she is doing anything to keep you around. Confusion normally means her interest level is low in you. She likes you enough to be friends and use you for emotional support - but isn't interested enough in you to be physical. To be honest, the longer you stay around and are available, the further you will be from ever having a chance with her again. By her saying she can't be intimate with you it means that she may wish she could feel the same way with you as she used to but can't. I hate to say this, but you need to cut her lose and move onto a girl who will not be as confused and has a high interest level in you. When a girl is interested, she makes it easy for you not hard. Thanks for the advice, very well put
Fufu Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 So my ex and I were together for over 2 1/2 years. We rushed into things and were with eachothe all the time. We basically lived together. When we finally moved in with eachother we became very complacent and lost respect for each other. I was stressed with school and work and I know I wasn't there for her like I should have been. I was a real jerk in front of her friends and family. I know I messed up. She broke up with me and kept giving mixed signals so I went no contact for 3 months. She tried to reach out to me but I never responded. I was heart broken, I put my focuses on business school and met some new friends. I eventually got over what happened between us. We recently started talking again because she missed me a lot. When we hang out it feels like it did before. We spend the night with eachother but we only cuddle. She will kiss me on my back but she tells me something is holding her back from being intimate with me. She said she wants to be with me but something is holding her back She recently told me that she found someone else attractive and all she could think about was what was going to happen between us. She is going through a lot right now with applying to nursing school and moving. We confide in each other for a lot of emotional support. So its hard for us to let go. We agreed to go no contact once school starts again. What do you think about the situation? Any advice greatly appreciated. Say NO to people showing hesitation. That's what I can say. I don't think she is ready to come back. Being together means together Yes means yes. I don't get it when people take relationship like a yo-yo. One minute I'm with you, the next minute, I don't know anymore. It's just being irresponsible in my opinion.
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