Spacedout88 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I have been talking to this girl she seems interested in me. We are suppose to hangout tomorrow, but my ex also wants to hangout tomorrow. I still love my ex but don't know her reason for wanting to hangout. Should I tell this new girl I'm going to hangout with my ex instead of her or should I make up an excuse?
Emilia Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 If you want to move on, meet up with the new girl. If you want to make up with your ex, meet her instead. Don't string two people along to see which one is easier to get. 2
Author Spacedout88 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 But if I meet with my ex and she has no intentions if getting back together. I would like to try and start something with the other girl. I don't want to string either of them along I'd just rather be with my ex but idk if the feeling is mutual.
Emilia Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 But if I meet with my ex and she has no intentions if getting back together. I would like to try and start something with the other girl. I don't want to string either of them along I'd just rather be with my ex but idk if the feeling is mutual. So you are hedging your bets and leading them on. If you want to get back with your ex then go and see her because dating someone else would not make you happy anyway and you would just end up leaving the other person eventually. Of course you can do what you like, pretend to the new girl that you are interested in her just to get sex while thinking about your ex, etc etc. 1
Shepp Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I've done it. I've hung out with a two or three separate girls once maybe twice when I was totally and completely in love with someone else, my now gf. Which was fine, I'm still on good terms with all of them, because I did nothing wrong - I never lied. They all knew, in fact almost all of them knew, said gf. I wouldn't change a thing.. I never promised them anything, i never even approached them. Of course some girls wouldn't so much as have lunch with a lad who was hung up on someone else - good for them, tbh. But I really couldn't of cared less because the only person i actually wanted to be with was my gf so so what? And maybe if they hadn't known i could of strung it out longer or something but i didn't want to string it out longer, because they were nice, pretty girls but i wasn't into them and i didn't want to hurt them. I never hurt anyone and I can look back now and feel good about my actions at that time. As far as I can see, you never regret telling the truth. One of those girls i saw, the only one i ever saw twice. She left me with the words "You're a really super guy Shepp, but the thing is I wont settle for less than a guy who loves me as much as you love her. I wish you all the luck in the world, but if she ever breaks your heart, you call me okay?" - To me her leaving thinking good of me is worth an awful lot more that getting to sleep with a girl i wasn't even mad about" You have to make your own call on whats worth more to you, but think about what kind of guy do you want to be? I always wanted to be seen as honest and trustworthy so that was the way i did my best to behave. Lie to these girls and it just might all blow up in your face and when it does people may see you as manipulative - and that's a hard image to ever shake off. If you want my advice - if you cant choose then at least give them the opportunity to choose by telling them the truth! 1
emva07 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 you should be upfront. She should have the option of having to wait around for you to sort out your feelings or not. That way when she finds out she's not the one, she isn't heartbroken.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I think you should tell her the truth; and let her go. You are not over your ex, as you have said. That would be unfair to this girl, who is interested in you. What profit is there in lying: None is the answer. Do the right thing.
Author Spacedout88 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 Yes your all right ill be fair and tell her everything that is going on and hope she sticks around if everything doesn't go well with my ex. Thanks for the replys!
MissBee Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 If you still want to be with your ex and prefer to be with her, please don't choose this other woman as a booby prize if your ex doesn't want to be with you. It's not fair. Let this girl go and go meet with your ex if you want. Even if you don't meet with your ex, don't date this woman or be upfront about your feelings for your ex so she can choose wisely.
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Actually I see it a little differently. From the sounds of it you're still in the 'talking' stage, not been intimate yet, no promises have been made. You don't really owe her anything right now. Why don't you simply tell the new girl you're sorry and you made a mistake, but you're not free tomorrow... and make a date to see her in a couple of days? You'll get to find out what your ex wants, and will be able to either pursue the new girl safe in the knowledge that your ex doesn't want you and able to move on, or should your ex want something from you you can then decide whether you want to go down that road or not and be honest to the new girl about it if you decide not to meet her. It's just talking at this stage, you're not even dating, so I don't really think you need to start opening up your darkest thoughts and feelings about another woman. Just rearrange the date.
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 In the very beginning of a new relationship or the 2nd start to your old relationship, nobody is entitled to your schedule. Just say I have other plans & leave it at that. However, going forward is usually better than going backwards. I'd hang out with the new girl & reschedule the EX. Again you don't have to give the EX a reason, other than you have other plans. If you are choosing the EX over the new girl, that says something. . . don't you agree? 1
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