freebird31 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 (edited) I don't really understand the emotions I feel. After about a month of being okay, blocking my ex out, about 2 weeks ago I fell apart again...I was crying and depressed for a week...now I'm back to normal. I feel indifferent again. I don't get these emotions at all. I feel blank. I don't feel sad or mad I feel completely indifferent. I almost feel over it...but of course who knows what I will feel a little bit from now..I don't get these emotions....it's like when they come, they hit really hard. And when they go, they really go and I don't feel anything. Maybe it's my way of coping with my emotions.. Perhaps I block him out so well for so long, it all builds up somewhere in me and I feel the hurt again. Last week I was breaking down saying how I miss him, today I don't miss him at all. I don't feel anything. I feel nothing. Numb. And I was just thinking..my ex is nothing but a stranger to me. It's weird to think he even meant something to me. I don't even know who that person is. I just know last week I was bawling my eyes out. This week That guy is a stranger to me...as more time passes..I realize he is a stranger. Edited January 9, 2014 by freebird31
StringsAttached Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 It's natural to come across bumps in the healing process. I'm the same way. I feel way, way better now but there's still times that I can't block her out of my head. She's still the first thing I think about when I wake up and even then it's as if she's slipping further out of my head each and every day. Maintain your disposition, don't contact him and never stalk him online. Out of sight out of mind. He'll be a distant, insignificant memory one day. 1
Author freebird31 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 It's natural to come across bumps in the healing process. I'm the same way. I feel way, way better now but there's still times that I can't block her out of my head. She's still the first thing I think about when I wake up and even then it's as if she's slipping further out of my head each and every day. Maintain your disposition, don't contact him and never stalk him online. Out of sight out of mind. He'll be a distant, insignificant memory one day. It's a weird feeling...I think I have just mastered my skill of blocking him from my life. I wish I could feel this way all the time but I know the wave of hurt will return again...it's weird though...I feel like if I were to see him right now I wouldn't feel as enthusiastic ..I just kind of feel over it all. But again, I know that's not how I feel deep inside. But I don't want to face what I am reAlly feeling deep inside. I already did that for mSny months now. I find it easier to bury away in my mind somewhere. Don't know how else to explain it 1
Author freebird31 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 It's natural to come across bumps in the healing process. I'm the same way. I feel way, way better now but there's still times that I can't block her out of my head. She's still the first thing I think about when I wake up and even then it's as if she's slipping further out of my head each and every day. Maintain your disposition, don't contact him and never stalk him online. Out of sight out of mind. He'll be a distant, insignificant memory one day. May I ask you how long you have been broken up for?
Itspointless Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 You experience your unconscience blocking your emotions as they are to much to handle: your mind is in survivalmode. It is a good thing you still have moments that you can reach your feelings, so you can work through those.
flightplan Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 And I was just thinking..my ex is nothing but a stranger to me. It's weird to think he even meant something to me. I don't even know who that person is. I just know last week I was bawling my eyes out. This week That guy is a stranger to me...as more time passes..I realize he is a stranger. The exact same thing here. I thought I knew her.. I mean, I REALLY thought I knew her... but now, I don't know who the hell she is. Like you said, a complete stranger. It's coming up on 3 months since the BU, but if I were to talk to her now, I wouldn't know who I was talking to.
FortunateSon Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I have had this numb feeling as well and I am 7 months post BU of a 6 year RS. I find myself alternating between numbness and the healing emotions of anger, sadness, sorrow, fear. The numbness has been frustrating, I want to feel the excitement of meeting/getting to know someone new and the numb feeling stifles that. I am hoping it is just a coping mechanism and part of the recovery process that with pass with time?
jphcbpa Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 this is good and normal. do not beat yourself up. everyone handles grief differently. perhaps these are residual emotions your body/mind could not handle before and are being released from deep within. feel them, acknowledge them, lean into them, process them.
Itspointless Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 this is good and normal. do not beat yourself up. everyone handles grief differently. perhaps these are residual emotions your body/mind could not handle before and are being released from deep within. feel them, acknowledge them, lean into them, process them. Exactly. See it as a safetymechanism of your brain. Feeling everything all the time makes you dysfunctional. It becomes a problem though if your unconsious looses the key of the drawer it pushed those emotions in, and when you feel numb all the time for a long time. See Depression Symptoms Series: Feeling Numb - Symptoms - Depression and Dysthymia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Author freebird31 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 Exactly. See it as a safetymechanism of your brain. Feeling everything all the time makes you dysfunctional. It becomes a problem though if your unconsious looses the key of the drawer it pushed those emotions in, and when you feel numb all the time for a long time. See Depression Symptoms Series: Feeling Numb - Symptoms - Depression and Dysthymia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia I know exactly what you mean by losing the key to the drawer. I lost a close relative 8 years ago to cancer. And no matter how hard I try I cannot remember the memories at all. I can't remember a thing. I remember one or two memories. But I remember I grieved for many years and I had to cope by somehow blocking it all, that I lost a lot of the memories despite how close we were :/ I have a feeling the same thing is going to happen with my ex...heart break does strange things to the mind. My ex was very special to me..but I'm starting to lose him...I think. The relationship almost feels like a dream... That I have awoken from..
StringsAttached Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 May I ask you how long you have been broken up for? Well 7 months but I made the mistake of letting her friend zone me and lead me on. That's another thing you just can't be friends with your ex and if you can put up with the awkwardness, jealousy and longing then I commend you. My ex gave me hints all over the place that she was willing to give it another try and I foolishly fell for her ploy lol. Lesson learned. The thing that made me feel better and get almost over her now is that she found the type of guy I don't like (thuggish/non-intellectual) so my respect for her has dropped considerably. Now even if she comes back and asks me for a second chance I just won't do it. You'll feel better trust me.
Itspointless Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I know exactly what you mean by losing the key to the drawer. I lost a close relative 8 years ago to cancer. And no matter how hard I try I cannot remember the memories at all. I can't remember a thing. I remember one or two memories. But I remember I grieved for many years and I had to cope by somehow blocking it all, that I lost a lot of the memories despite how close we were :/ I have a feeling the same thing is going to happen with my ex...heart break does strange things to the mind. My ex was very special to me..but I'm starting to lose him...I think. The relationship almost feels like a dream... That I have awoken from.. Yeah, I lost my mother to a severe illness. I could remember, but couldn't feel for years, the loss was too big. There was just a void, a deep black emptiness that forced me to rediscover myself. The break with my new gf involved an element that made me also feel pain again from all those years ago. I am sorry to hear for you, hang on in there.
Author freebird31 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Well 7 months but I made the mistake of letting her friend zone me and lead me on. That's another thing you just can't be friends with your ex and if you can put up with the awkwardness, jealousy and longing then I commend you. My ex gave me hints all over the place that she was willing to give it another try and I foolishly fell for her ploy lol. Lesson learned. The thing that made me feel better and get almost over her now is that she found the type of guy I don't like (thuggish/non-intellectual) so my respect for her has dropped considerably. Now even if she comes back and asks me for a second chance I just won't do it. You'll feel better trust me. yeah same here its been 8 months almost 9, but he kept poking back in my life a couple of times so it has been now almost 4 months now since we last spoke. and yup, totally agree i dont think that friends with your ex is possible. i thought i could be friends with my ex in the way beginning of the breakup, until i saw him talking to another girl. realized it was not possible. My respect dropped a lot as well like you when i realized how much of a jerk he was. not becuase he broke up with me, but bc of the way it happened. but yeah....still dont know what my exact reaction would be if he came back. Especially with all this numbness im feeling, i dont even know anymore these days what i really feel. I cant wait for happier days though. Hope you feel better though. its so rough, but we can get through it somehow. 1
Author freebird31 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Yeah, I lost my mother to a severe illness. I could remember, but couldn't feel for years, the loss was too big. There was just a void, a deep black emptiness that forced me to rediscover myself. The break with my new gf involved an element that made me also feel pain again from all those years ago. I am sorry to hear for you, hang on in there. I am sorry that you have to go through that. It sucks that people just come and go. The whole process SUCKS. hope you feel better. 1
StringsAttached Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 yeah same here its been 8 months almost 9, but he kept poking back in my life a couple of times so it has been now almost 4 months now since we last spoke. and yup, totally agree i dont think that friends with your ex is possible. i thought i could be friends with my ex in the way beginning of the breakup, until i saw him talking to another girl. realized it was not possible. My respect dropped a lot as well like you when i realized how much of a jerk he was. not becuase he broke up with me, but bc of the way it happened. but yeah....still dont know what my exact reaction would be if he came back. Especially with all this numbness im feeling, i dont even know anymore these days what i really feel. I cant wait for happier days though. Hope you feel better though. its so rough, but we can get through it somehow. Yeah we will it's inevitable. Time heals all wounds. If she randomly pops in my head I usually read a book and totally immerse myself in it. If I still can't block her out while reading i'll tell myself that i'm the master of my mind and this thought is banished from my head. It usually works. Best of luck.
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