LoLWut Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 (edited) I've been studying a foreign language for 3 years now... and for the first 2 years i had A as my teacher and from the very first day, everyone in class knew i had a thing for her. I would occasionally ask her out, just the 2 of us to dinner and such, help her out as she's a foreigner in my country and after a year during her birthday which i was fortunate enough to celebrate with her alone in private, i let her know of my feelings towards her, she was shocked and totally clueless, told me she couldn't decide and needed time. a month later, she rejected me without reason and i didn't ask why... cos would it really have mattered? No is all i needed to know. She gradually started rejecting my invitation to dinner and started ignoring me, so to make it easier on her, i dropped out of her class. I then met B as my new teacher which happens to be her housemate. I guess you could say i have a thing for people of her ethnicity and i went after B a year after going cold turkey with A. Things didn't work out between B and i either but i really liked her, and in my stupid attempt to understand what was on her mind, i consulted A and asked her if B knows anything about our history and she said no. But she said B could tell i liked A for a long time. I then ask why A rejected me in the first place, and after a long and hard thought, she told me it's because of our difference in maturity which i think is a half-ass life (she's 2 years older than me). That was the last time we talked. Fast forward 6 months later, as i know A's contract is about to end and about her plans of returning to her home country, i asked her if we could go out again before that happens. She did not reply me. I then check Facebook and found that she had unfriended me but all my classmates remained her friends. I tried calling numerous times but the calls went unanswered. So i sent her a text message and our conversation went like this. Me: Is something wrong? You did not reply my messages nor answer my calls, and we're no longer friends on fb, are you mad at me? Was it because you think i was using you in order to get to B? That's not true. Don't tell me you're not aware how i feel about you. If it were up to me, you'd be my first choice!! But inspite of this, no matter what i did or how i asked you out, you kept rejecting me. What should i do? if it were somebody else whom unfriended me, i probably wouldn't care but it's you!!! If it's because of something i did, please let me know. Me: I like you. I really liked you. But after a month, after thinking thoroughly and you still think i'm not good enough, do you really dislike me that much? It really hurt. Me: Have you ever thought about how i feel? Me: I'm sorry. Please forgive me. A: I'm seeing a friend atm, i'll reply you later. Me: Please do!!! 2 hours later... A: I'm happy that you feel that way about me but i have no plans to go out with you anymore. Sorry. Me: why? A: 'cos i don't wanna see you. No other reason. Me: Why so sudden? Me: Do you hate me? A: Sudden?! No, it's been a while. Hate? No. But i don't like you. That was the last i heard of her and the rest was my pathetic pleas pleading her to tell me why/don't leave me messages before i finally realized she's not coming back and i said thanks for the memories, i never meant to hurt you. Then she blocked me. That's all i know. I think she must have conjured up some theory since we last talk in person and hated me for it because other than that, i really am clueless. She rejected me, and yet she won't allow me to go after other girls??? I really don't know what she's thinking. Edited January 9, 2014 by LoLWut
nescafe1982 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 It just sounds to me like she's not interested in you. Pursuing her further is only going to make her annoyed.
Author LoLWut Posted January 9, 2014 Author Posted January 9, 2014 It just sounds to me like she's not interested in you. Pursuing her further is only going to make her annoyed. Really? My girl friends seems to think she likes me that's why she's mad in the first place. But i'm over her, so i'm not trying to pursue her. I just don't want us to end on bad terms.
BlametheIrish Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 It just sounds to me like she's not interested in you. Pursuing her further is only going to make her annoyed. This Also your maturity level and your age are two seperate things. Just because you're similar in age doesn't mean you're similar in maturity.
nescafe1982 Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 The only other question I have is did a romance ever really form with either of these women? Like were you dating them? That's not really clear from your OP. Read one way, they look like you were pursuing your teachers, and they didn't appreciate it. But i don't see how either one of them really expressed any romantic interest in you. Could you clarify what makes you think they reciprocated the feelings? But if you're over her... no matter. Don't worry yourself too much over what she thinks of you... that's out of your hands. But from the convo you posted here, you came off way too aggressive in my opinion. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I disagree with your female friends. This woman doesn't like you. She sounds more annoyed than anything else. It appears that your persistence has really backfired. When messages and numerous calls go unanswered, you should take a step back - not push even harder. I think she liked you as a friend at one time, but was not comfortable with your advances. It sounds like she tried to let you down easily at first. She may have felt a little weird that you went to her about the other teacher (or any other girl, for that matter) - why did you do that, anyway? I don't think she's "not letting you go after other girls." I think she's simply uncomfortable around you and doesn't want any contact with you. Anyway, you said you're over it. Unfortunately, this one didn't work out. Try not to think about it too much. Just remember in the future that when your advances are not reciprocated, the best course of action is ease off. Don't call or text or message continuously. That's very unnerving and would turn most people off. 3
mortensorchid Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 Sorry guy, she doesn't like you. She may have once, but because of what went down she no longer does. I would just move on and say "I will know better next time".
GoreSP Posted January 9, 2014 Posted January 9, 2014 I just have one question… When you say 'everyone in class'…what kind of course is this? Because in almost any type of setting this class would be in, she could lose her job for dating a student...
Author LoLWut Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Everyone is missing the point, maybe i'm not explaining it right. The question isn't whether she likes/hates/annoyed by me. The question is why were we able to talk like normal friends especially when i asked her about B, then eversince then, she hates me for my guts? But thanks for everyone's opinion. It really does make sense and i haven't thought about it before.
Author LoLWut Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 And to answer everyone's question, why would she take a month to consider being with me if she didn't liked me? It would be an immediate no if that were the case.
nescafe1982 Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 And to answer everyone's question, why would she take a month to consider being with me if she didn't liked me? It would be an immediate no if that were the case. I bet she was just hoping you would not approach her again for an answer. She was probably trying to let you down easy... and doing a poor job of it. I don't see a single exchange that makes me think she was interested in you, though. Not in that romantic way. Honestly, though... you should not try to date your teacher. Especially if she's from another country and there's a visa situation. If she loses her job because of her interactions with a student, things can get very bad. 1
Author LoLWut Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 I'm not sure about the school rules... It's a private language school so.... And i've went after 2, so if there were such rule certainly they would have said something by now?
ExpatInItaly Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Everyone is missing the point, maybe i'm not explaining it right. The question isn't whether she likes/hates/annoyed by me. The question is why were we able to talk like normal friends especially when i asked her about B, then eversince then, she hates me for my guts? But thanks for everyone's opinion. It really does make sense and i haven't thought about it before. She likely wanted to be civil at the very least, but became weirded out when you asked about another woman. I really don't think she's jealous, if that's what you're hoping to hear. I think she's uncomfortable with your behaviour and you didn't take more subtle hints.
skela Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Sounds like she really just wants you to leave her alone - not interested in a friendship or anything.
ChatroomHero Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 What exactly would a woman have to do to prove that she has 0 interest in you as a friend or anything more? From what you said she did everything she possibly could to let you know, so since you don't get it, what would she have to do?
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