Post BU from a Borderline

[Coping17]

Hello Everyone,

I just wanted to thank everyone for their support and posts. Me and my ex were together for a year and have been broken up for seven weeks. Our relationship was great in the beginning. I had a drop dead beautiful girl chasing me and putting me on a pedestal. Everything seemed to good to be true. We were out drinking having fun and were in love within the first week or so. Three months into the relationship things starting to get rocky. She would pick fights with me and tell me to get out. When I got a few miles away, I would get a text to come back. I chalked this up to her temper. I was able to look past this, it seemed like such a small price to pay for someone I loved.

 

In the beginning we would drink and she would open up about past relationships, traumatic events which all led to her crying and me comforting her. I became the white knight. We began to spend more time with her family which there was drinking involved. Her family advised me that she shouldn't drink. This was about the same time her angry drunk side started to make it's appearance. I figured they were right, they knew her better than me. So as the relationship progressed, so did the mood swings. She would devalue me and praise me in the same sentence. It didn't make sense, she was sober. So now I am assuming I am dealing with a raging alcoholic who is a witch when she was sober. Win win huh? As the relationship progressed more and more unusual behavior started to appear or finally starting to sink in. I couldn't figure it out for the life of me, I just knew this girl had the devil in her. At the year mark we had a fight which led her to break up with me. I was caught of guard, this was the person that had thought of me as a husband, imagined what our kids would look like, the girl that I was shopping for a wedding ring for.

 

I started coming to this site for answers which also helped me remain in NC. About a week or so ago, I had a dream about the ex (she was fat in the dream!!) and it just so happens someone had posted on this topic. One of the replies was from Downtown in regards to the subject of Borderline Personality Disorder which started to make sense of everything. I scoured the internet for more resources and sure enough she fits 8/9 of the traits but honestly it could be debatable for 9/9. I am not qualified to make a diagnosis for her but it has helped me realize for myself. So from the bottom of my healing/healed heart, thank you Downtown!!

 

In hindsight to the break up, I am looking forward to possibly finding a partner that will love me and I will not be throwing my efforts into a cracked well. There have been no attempts to reconcile from either side which has made this difficult roller-coaster of emotions easier to get off!

 

Be Well,

Coping17

[Downtown]

Coping, thanks so much for the kind words. I'm glad to hear you found the information about BPD warning signs helpful. I applaud you for remaining NC for seven weeks and for not wanting to get back onto that roller coaster. Take care, Coping.