Girlfriend of 4 years breaks up...what happened?

[SJChris]

I apologize in advance for the novel, but I feel that it's better to get everything out on the table at once.

 

My girlfriend and I were in a loving relationship for 4 years. We met in college, she a freshman (18) and me a junior (20). We are now 24 and 22. I lived on campus and she was a townie and lived at home with her parents. She has a bit of a sheltered life and doesn't have too many friends beside her family. As a said before, our relationship was very loving: we hardly ever fought, were interested in almost everything the other did and so on and so forth. We are both homebodies and weren't really into the whole party life (I still haven't drank any sort of alcohol, she does tho). We'd prefer to stay in and watch a movie or play a video game than go out and socialize. She has been in relationships before but most were bad and the guys treated her bad but I never treated her bad. We never broke up and got back together or did anything like that. After I graduated college, I was forced to move back home and search for work so our relationship became a LDR. But I always spent at least one weekend a month with her at her house. She hardly came to see me, however, b/c her parents always had to drive and meet me halfway. They do spoil her (she still doesn't know how to pump gas, her Dad still does it for her!).

 

Anyway, she called me late at night the day after Christmas and broke up with me. This was completely out of the blue and I was more shocked than upset. What hurt the most was that she didn't even sound upset when she did the deed. She said she "doesn't love me romantically anymore" and "isn't happy." I immediately think it was something I did but when I asked she said "No, you were the best boyfriend in the world, it is absolutely nothing you did. It's me." She said over and over that I just need to move on. I ask if it was the distance and she said no. I ask if there's someone else or if she's developing feelings for someone, both no's. She said she doesn't know when she'll be in a relationship again. Now, I'm a logical person and I tried to get answers from her but her response was always “I don't know.” I ask what happened? “I don't know.” Will you ever feel that way again about me? "I don't know. I can't give you a yes or no answer." What exactly are you attracted to now? "I don't know." Always I don't know. Early the next morning she updated her Facebook status to Single.

 

Now, I started to get a gut feeling something was up after she started her job in October. Yeah, she took forever to text me back but she was ALWAYS like that all 4 years. But something seemed...off. I confronted her about it several times but she always said there was nothing wrong, she's just stressed from work and that all this would pass. She never lied to me before about anything so I figured that's all it was. When December rolled around, it seemed whatever it was did pass and she did start to come around. She started talking to me more and began calling and talking with me just about every night with questions about how to do something at work and just to talk. We visited the weekend of Dec 14th for our respective family's Christmas (BTW, her family absolutely loved me and mine loved her) and went to a hockey game and she seemed completely normal and fine.

 

After the breakup she sent a couple texts seeing how I was to which I gave short and somewhat cold responses. We then talked about getting my stuff back last week and she was supposed to have mailed it...but it hasn't shown yet. During the conversation I did what you were supposed to and agreed with the break and agreed to give space and to leave each other alone. NC started after but I broke it once to make sure her dog, who is very old, was brought inside because it has been incredibly cold lately. We both love animals and I still care for hers like they are my own. After that, I haven't sent anything else and am on day 4 of NC. We're still friends on Facebook but I have disappeared from the site after NC started. She has also started to act different and it seems as though she is trying to make me jealous. Hockey is my favorite sport and I practically introduced her to it and she went to a game last Saturday with her family and posted a picture from it and starts commenting on it like the world's gonna end...something she never done on Facebook before when we were together. She then starts having a conversation with guys on there...guys that I know for a fact annoyed the heck out of her b/c they CONSTANTLY hit on her when we were together and she complained about it all the time. We also got a ton of snow that Sunday and she was talking about how she was taking her brand new Jeep Wrangler out to go to a friend's house..which I find hard to believe b/c we had a bit of slush on the weekend of Dec 14th and her parents wouldn't let me leave to go to THAT hockey game until the day of the game b/c they were worried about our safety. Just seems odd to me they'd let her out with about a foot of snow on the ground. Also, she never went to a friend's house when we were together...not like I would have cared b/c I'm not controlling like that. She was also talking about taking her Jeep out to go mudding, which is also funny b/c I teased her about doing that right after she got it and she said there was no way she would ever do that. She is also liking all this stuff about lifted trucks and other things that (no offense) hoosiers do..which is also funny b/c she made fun of that stuff all the time when we were together.

 

Looking back, I know I should never have gotten on her profile and it is a lesson learned. She's just acting the complete opposite of the girl she once was and it's all confusing to me. I have a feeling this is all b/c things were starting to get real serious b/t us and I have popped up the “M” word a few times and she freaked out. I had a background investigation done for my current job and they asked me questions about our relationship and I know they called her and asked her the same questions. Those calls would have happened around the middle of December. I also feel like she has a bit of depression b/c during the breakup she kept saying how she had a lot of self-doubt. Can anyone help me figure out what's happening? I am trying to move on and I am getting better everyday, but I'd just like to know a reason behind this.

 

Once again, sorry for the novel, but I like to present as much as I can. Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Edited January 8, 2014 by SJChris

[jphcbpa]

Very sorry for your pain. It is really hard when there was nothing major that happened (ie: cheating, lying, stealing, abuse ect.). Out of the blue, wham! The shock and denial lingers.

 

Feel you feelings and lean into them. Do not evade this. The best way to get to the other side is to face your feelings of anger, sadness, denial, pain ect.

 

It is best to remain NC, block the FB and start taking care of you.

 

I would proceed as if she is never coming back. Have that mindset.

[SJChris]

Thanks for the reply, jp. I am remaining NC and am not going to break it until she decides to, if ever. And I will block the FB soon. The worst part is b/c of the snow, I'm stuck at home where I can stew about it besides go out and get my mind off it

 

I am moving this weekend to where my new job is, so that'll be nice to get my mind off it.

[jphcbpa]

good. new job, new start, new place. embrace this as a new and better you.

 

you can start doing some writing today. write her a letter (DO NOT SEND IT). Get it all out on paper. start writing a journal daily. how you feel, what you are doing, what you are learning ect.

 

start working out like a mad man. If you are stuck at home, do push ups/sit ups/lunges ect.

[SJChris]

I'll be sure to do that journal. I enjoy writing anyway, so that'll be nice to do!

[notthathard]

Just from what your wrote it's easy to see she lost attraction to you. She didnt do this out of the blue, it was something that was brewing up for a while.

 

Don't try to find out the answers from her, she wont tell you any time soon.

Find the answers yourself. Look at the past and you will eventually realize how it happened. You might have changed or she might have changed.

[Chi townD]

Sorry to say this dude. She met someone at her work. All the "I don't Knows" was so she wouldn't give away too much information.

 

And then saying things like, taking her jeep mudding or lift kits....blah....blah... No girl talks about doing that stuff exclusively. So, there's someone else that is influencing her to experience that stuff. I mean, seriously! Think about it. What girl is going to opt for a lift kit to her jeep over clothes shopping?

 

Sorry dude. Spider senses are tingling.

[Kevin_D]

GIGS again... Someone should really do scientific study on this. What causes this behavior?

[SJChris]

Chi-Town:

Yeah, I have a gut feeling it was someone at work...I just wanted to see other people's views on it. I think it's her supervisor from work...who is her older brother's age or older (creepy).

I just wished she wouldn't lie to me and straight up tell me. I'm always honest to people and was honest to her. The least she could do after everything I did for her is tell me the truth.

BTW, go Blues!!! haha couldn't resist.

 

Kevin:

I read up on GIGS and sometimes I think she may be experiencing this due to her sheltered life. She has never went out on her own before and has always lived at home, all thru college to even now when she's employed.

Edited January 8, 2014 by SJChris

[flightplan]

I know it sucks. When my GF broke up with me over the phone, she was very unemotional about it. It's like they made up their mind, and they're on a mission to get the news out as quick as they can, and move on and be done with it. They build an emotional wall just so they can go through with the BU. Hang in there, you're going to have some rough patches, just expect it, don't beat yourself up. Leave her alone, don't go begging to get her back. Let her miss you and see what happens after six months.

[SJChris]

Thanks, flightplan.

 

I have yet to beg and whine for her and I never will. It was her decision, so if anyone's going to be doing any begging it'll be her...if it happens.

[SJChris]

ARRGHHH!! This is making me SOOOOO mad!!!

 

The day after we broke up, I left her mom a voice mail saying thanks for everything. Wasn't sure if she got the message or not b/c I never heard anything. I sent her dad a thank you message on Facebook. I know he saw it...also no response. It's not like I was an a-hole in the message, I was just saying thanks for all they did for me.

 

It feels as if she made up crap about me and told them something. So frustrating b/c I'm an appreciative person and was just wanting to say thanks.

[somedude81]

And it happens again.

 

Sorry SJChris. There has been a rash of cases like this happening. Something seems to be wrong with women.

 

Pretty much the same thing happened to me last month. Though we were only together for six months. I can't imagine the pain you are going through.

[SJChris]

I just don't get it, brother. They complain about how there aren't any nice guys...then they do get one...and dump him b/c they don't find him attractive anymore. Makes no sense at all to me.

 

Sorry about your loss too. It sucks But does get better every day you wake up.

[notthathard]

I just don't get it, brother. They complain about how there aren't any nice guys...then they do get one...and dump him b/c they don't find him attractive anymore. Makes no sense at all to me.

 

Sorry about your loss too. It sucks But does get better every day you wake up.

 

It's because the type of nice guys that are being dumped isn't the type of nice guy they are talking about.

 

Some women like challenges, not a guy who will do everything for them.

Many secretly want to be dominated.

Some want to be the one chasing and doing things for you rather than you doing things for them.

etc.

 

If your constantly doing everything for your girl that she asks and more it will get boring for her. You become like a slave and that's not what most want.

 

By being a challenge for her it makes it fun like:

 

Making herself look good for you/to impress you and getting a nice compliment (only when she REALLY looks good).

Doing things for you and getting rewarded for that.

Getting sex from you only when its deserved and not when its not.

 

There are heaps more but it's best that you work them out.

[Fufu]

I'm sorry about this. You will go through this and it is completely normal to feel what you are feeling now.

 

I feel that she has perhaps rehearsal the break scenario before breaking the news to you, thus she doesn't seem to be upset about it.

 

Whatever the reasons for the break up, people do change, feelings change over a period of time.

 

What I think is if she really feels that you are the right guy she wants to settle down with, even your occasional words of "M" shouldn't have scare her away even if she is not ready.

[SJChris]

I had one final bit of contact with her tonight about getting my stuff back. She was supposed to have mailed it last week but didn't. Now it's supposed to be tomorrow. I tried one final time to gauge what happened but got the same responses :/

 

After I hung up, I unfriended her from Facebook.

 

My recovery can fully begin.

[Kevin_D]

ARRGHHH!! This is making me SOOOOO mad!!!

 

The day after we broke up, I left her mom a voice mail saying thanks for everything. Wasn't sure if she got the message or not b/c I never heard anything. I sent her dad a thank you message on Facebook. I know he saw it...also no response. It's not like I was an a-hole in the message, I was just saying thanks for all they did for me.

 

It feels as if she made up crap about me and told them something. So frustrating b/c I'm an appreciative person and was just wanting to say thanks.

 

This happened to me as well. Her father helped me with a lot of things... picked me up from airport, took us out to dinners, learned me how to play golf... I know that he really likes me. My ex sometimes almost became jealous that we had so much fun together... So I thought it would be nice to write a short message and thank him for everything. But of course, no response.

 

My mother turned 70 about a month after my girlfriend dumped me. She did so much for her and considered her a member of the family. I thought it would be a nice opportunity for my ex to show some style and send her a card or something like that, but of course she didn't do that.

 

It's like when they've said the magic words, nothing else matters anymore. I would hate myself if I behaved like this, but after spending some time on this forum, I realise that this is not very unusual. The mentality seems to be:

 

"The switch was flipped. Relationship is over. Neither dumper or dumpee have any responsibilities now. If you are hurt, that's your problem. If your parents are hurt, that's their problem."

 

In my opinion, this is very immature and cowardly behavior.

[SJChris]

This happened to me as well. Her father helped me with a lot of things... picked me up from airport, took us out to dinners, learned me how to play golf... I know that he really likes me. My ex sometimes almost became jealous that we had so much fun together... So I thought it would be nice to write a short message and thank him for everything. But of course, no response.

 

My mother turned 70 about a month after my girlfriend dumped me. She did so much for her and considered her a member of the family. I thought it would be a nice opportunity for my ex to show some style and send her a card or something like that, but of course she didn't do that.

 

It's like when they've said the magic words, nothing else matters anymore. I would hate myself if I behaved like this, but after spending some time on this forum, I realise that this is not very unusual. The mentality seems to be:

 

"The switch was flipped. Relationship is over. Neither dumper or dumpee have any responsibilities now. If you are hurt, that's your problem. If your parents are hurt, that's their problem."

 

In my opinion, this is very immature and cowardly behavior.

 

I'm right there with you, brother. All I was doing was saying thanks. I wasn't a jerk or anything. I didn't even mention the breakup. And I know her Dad liked me a lot b/c we enjoyed a lot of the same things. He's a hockey nut like me and is a bit nerdy like me. I even joked with her on the weekend of Dec 14th that maybe her Dad was actually my real Dad b/c we have so much in common. And now...I get a cold shoulder from the whole family that I thought loved me. Not only have I lost her, but I have lost a family that I cared for and loved.

 

My ex hasn't even told me to say thanks to my parents and they welcomed her as if she were a part of the family as well.

 

It's amazing how much you can lose when the ex says those magic words: "We need to talk about us..."

[happydate]

I apologize in advance for the novel, but I feel that it's better to get everything out on the table at once.

 

My girlfriend and I were in a loving relationship for 4 years. We met in college, she a freshman (18) and me a junior (20). We are now 24 and 22. I lived on campus and she was a townie and lived at home with her parents. She has a bit of a sheltered life and doesn't have too many friends beside her family. As a said before, our relationship was very loving: we hardly ever fought, were interested in almost everything the other did and so on and so forth. We are both homebodies and weren't really into the whole party life (I still haven't drank any sort of alcohol, she does tho). We'd prefer to stay in and watch a movie or play a video game than go out and socialize. She has been in relationships before but most were bad and the guys treated her bad but I never treated her bad. We never broke up and got back together or did anything like that. After I graduated college, I was forced to move back home and search for work so our relationship became a LDR. But I always spent at least one weekend a month with her at her house. She hardly came to see me, however, b/c her parents always had to drive and meet me halfway. They do spoil her (she still doesn't know how to pump gas, her Dad still does it for her!).

 

Anyway, she called me late at night the day after Christmas and broke up with me. This was completely out of the blue and I was more shocked than upset. What hurt the most was that she didn't even sound upset when she did the deed. She said she "doesn't love me romantically anymore" and "isn't happy." I immediately think it was something I did but when I asked she said "No, you were the best boyfriend in the world, it is absolutely nothing you did. It's me." She said over and over that I just need to move on. I ask if it was the distance and she said no. I ask if there's someone else or if she's developing feelings for someone, both no's. She said she doesn't know when she'll be in a relationship again. Now, I'm a logical person and I tried to get answers from her but her response was always “I don't know.” I ask what happened? “I don't know.” Will you ever feel that way again about me? "I don't know. I can't give you a yes or no answer." What exactly are you attracted to now? "I don't know." Always I don't know. Early the next morning she updated her Facebook status to Single.

 

Now, I started to get a gut feeling something was up after she started her job in October. Yeah, she took forever to text me back but she was ALWAYS like that all 4 years. But something seemed...off. I confronted her about it several times but she always said there was nothing wrong, she's just stressed from work and that all this would pass. She never lied to me before about anything so I figured that's all it was. When December rolled around, it seemed whatever it was did pass and she did start to come around. She started talking to me more and began calling and talking with me just about every night with questions about how to do something at work and just to talk. We visited the weekend of Dec 14th for our respective family's Christmas (BTW, her family absolutely loved me and mine loved her) and went to a hockey game and she seemed completely normal and fine.

 

After the breakup she sent a couple texts seeing how I was to which I gave short and somewhat cold responses. We then talked about getting my stuff back last week and she was supposed to have mailed it...but it hasn't shown yet. During the conversation I did what you were supposed to and agreed with the break and agreed to give space and to leave each other alone. NC started after but I broke it once to make sure her dog, who is very old, was brought inside because it has been incredibly cold lately. We both love animals and I still care for hers like they are my own. After that, I haven't sent anything else and am on day 4 of NC. We're still friends on Facebook but I have disappeared from the site after NC started. She has also started to act different and it seems as though she is trying to make me jealous. Hockey is my favorite sport and I practically introduced her to it and she went to a game last Saturday with her family and posted a picture from it and starts commenting on it like the world's gonna end...something she never done on Facebook before when we were together. She then starts having a conversation with guys on there...guys that I know for a fact annoyed the heck out of her b/c they CONSTANTLY hit on her when we were together and she complained about it all the time. We also got a ton of snow that Sunday and she was talking about how she was taking her brand new Jeep Wrangler out to go to a friend's house..which I find hard to believe b/c we had a bit of slush on the weekend of Dec 14th and her parents wouldn't let me leave to go to THAT hockey game until the day of the game b/c they were worried about our safety. Just seems odd to me they'd let her out with about a foot of snow on the ground. Also, she never went to a friend's house when we were together...not like I would have cared b/c I'm not controlling like that. She was also talking about taking her Jeep out to go mudding, which is also funny b/c I teased her about doing that right after she got it and she said there was no way she would ever do that. She is also liking all this stuff about lifted trucks and other things that (no offense) hoosiers do..which is also funny b/c she made fun of that stuff all the time when we were together.

 

Looking back, I know I should never have gotten on her profile and it is a lesson learned. She's just acting the complete opposite of the girl she once was and it's all confusing to me. I have a feeling this is all b/c things were starting to get real serious b/t us and I have popped up the “M” word a few times and she freaked out. I had a background investigation done for my current job and they asked me questions about our relationship and I know they called her and asked her the same questions. Those calls would have happened around the middle of December. I also feel like she has a bit of depression b/c during the breakup she kept saying how she had a lot of self-doubt. Can anyone help me figure out what's happening? I am trying to move on and I am getting better everyday, but I'd just like to know a reason behind this.

 

Once again, sorry for the novel, but I like to present as much as I can. Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

 

Both of you were incomplete human beings, so both of you siphoned each other off for companionship. She's lonely by herself so she needs you and you're lonely by yourself so you need her. Of course, when you mix in sex, both of you kind of need each other.

 

Don't buy into the my ex-boyfriends were worst then me. You know what, I've dated a number of girlfriends and they all said I was fabulous; 100+% better in sex and kisses and treatment than the other guys UNTIL I got dumped or I dumped her. When I got dumped, all of the sudden I wasn't the best f**ker and kisser and I treated them badly?!? WTF?!?

 

Women are extremely good manipulators and very good at stroking your inflated ego. The stuff you're saying is simply your ego trying to justify the breakup.

 

The problem is not with her. The problem is with YOU. You are attracting this girl to you, because you've got nothing else important going on and neither does she. She's bored and lonely and she needs a man and you just came along and fit her picture of a couple perfectly. If you guys have sex then all the better. The peer pressure from her friends can sometimes be relentless because this is what society expects us. We need to be as a couple to be normal. If you are single, you are not. This society pressure forces some of us to be together for the wrong reasons. And for this instance, it is for the wrong reason.

 

The reason why she dumped you cold after 4 years was because, she NEVER ACTUALLY LOVED you. I repeat, there wasn't any love at all. When there is true love, it comes from the heart and the breakup is very painful. For her to dump you so cold meant that she likes or maybe kind of love you for companionship and perhaps sex, but that is it. You are her convenience, a show for her friends and parents that she's hooked up; she's in a relationship. That's all. In reality, she had already given you the signal long ago. It took you 4 years to figure this out. Hopefully next time, you should take at least 5 dates and maybe a quick sex thrown in to figure her out ok. Be quick. You aren't getting any younger if you keeping wasting your time with these time waster women.

 

I mean; watching movies and playing video games isn't dating. It's called hanging out. Dating is about being together for emotional growth! Where can you see her growing affection and love towards you by sitting in front of a movie without uttering a word?

 

What happened is this way. She initially found you attractive and she went out with you, but she also has low-self esteem and low confidence level, so she stuck with you until she finds a replacement. There must be something she likes you better than the other men, be it sex, kisses or companionship she finds in you that she hangs on to you longer. But this is a relationship that is not meant to last. It's simply a "service" relationship for her. Guys do to women as well. I call it a transition relationship until she finds what she wants by raising her self-esteem and confidence level up.

 

When she wants to dump you, she already wanted to dump you LONG AGO, like say maybe a year or 2 before the breakup. But she didn't muster enough strength in herself to do this, so she was looking for all kinds of excuses to defer guilt on her part. It just so happens that you moved away from her, so she then saw a chance and an excuse to breakup with you. It's a cowardly act I know, but you're not dealing with a high self-esteem individual either. As long as you are attracting these kinds of women, you will go through the same s**t again and again until you change!

 

Here are the traits of a real woman who really love you.

 

If you move, the woman will not think twice and move with you even if it's Timbuktu or in the middle of the Sahara desert. She will drive to see you, even if she has to break into a car dealership to steal a car to get to you etc.. Even if you're sick, she will cuddle with you and ensure you get well soon despite the fact that she might get sick. That's a woman's loyal and trust coming out of her true heart because she loved you.

 

Your woman NEVER showed these traits. She never did because she never loved you. She might sleep with you, but that's not love either.

 

Quickly forget her and learn quickly what these lessons these you, because if you don't, you've be stuck with the same kind of women when you're in your 30s, 40s or even 50s!!

 

Lastly, women like bad boys because they have focus and behave authentically -- don't get treated like a doormat, because jerks or bad boys are complete. They take care of themselves, though their attitudes suck. But good guys are nice guys with the same focus and behaviour as bad boys. While girls like good guys, good guys generally don't date or approach these women unless they only seek for SEX and nothing else, because they aren't relationship quality.

 

She will eventually learn that using people or manipulating people for her own gain will not get her long lasting love. Until by sharing and growing with a man that you will. Sadly, MANY women I know today even in meetup groups just simply don't get it! Some manifesting a man and exploiting them like product will land them a prince -- NOT.

 

Take care.

Edited January 10, 2014 by happydate

[Kevin_D]

I'm right there with you, brother. All I was doing was saying thanks. I wasn't a jerk or anything. I didn't even mention the breakup. And I know her Dad liked me a lot b/c we enjoyed a lot of the same things. He's a hockey nut like me and is a bit nerdy like me. I even joked with her on the weekend of Dec 14th that maybe her Dad was actually my real Dad b/c we have so much in common. And now...I get a cold shoulder from the whole family that I thought loved me. Not only have I lost her, but I have lost a family that I cared for and loved.

 

My ex hasn't even told me to say thanks to my parents and they welcomed her as if she were a part of the family as well.

 

It's amazing how much you can lose when the ex says those magic words: "We need to talk about us..."

 

Haha! So many simularities. Her dad was a hockey nut as well, just like me. We would often drink beer and watch the games together, good times.

 

You know what I think? I think the family members don't know what to say really. I'm pretty sure they think the breakup is a big mistake, but blood is thicker than water, so they can't really say that... so they end up saying nothing.

 

It was easier with my first girlfriend. I never liked her family. The only one I missed was her overweight cat.

[SJChris]

Thanks for the reply, happydate.

 

Yeah, it felt like she stopped loving me long ago. She says she still cares for me...maybe she does...maybe not. Don't really care anymore, it's about me moving forward.

 

I have learned a lesson tho with her...and is kind of unfortunate for the next woman in my life b/c I won't put her on as high of a pedestal as I did her. Because I gave it my all for this one and what do I have to show for it?

 

It's getting easier every day getting over her. I'm kind of calm and collected now that I unfriended her from FB.

[SJChris]

Haha! So many simularities. Her dad was a hockey nut as well, just like me. We would often drink beer and watch the games together, good times.

 

You know what I think? I think the family members don't know what to say really. I'm pretty sure they think the breakup is a big mistake, but blood is thicker than water, so they can't really say that... so they end up saying nothing.

 

It was easier with my first girlfriend. I never liked her family. The only one I missed was her overweight cat.

 

We need to become friends in real life haha. Where are you from and what are your fave team(s)? My fave team is San Jose b/c I'm originally from Cali but I loved the Blues after I moved to STL.

 

A part of me thinks that as well. Sometimes I feel as though her parents don't agree with what she did, and, like you said, they're going to pick their daughter over me any day of the week. I, too, think they just don't know what to say.

[somedude81]

I wonder what the parents think about their daughters dumping guys. If they liked the guy do they tell her, or just say that she did the right thing no matter what?

[SJChris]

I wonder what the parents think about their daughters dumping guys. If they liked the guy do they tell her, or just say that she did the right thing no matter what?

 

I wonder as well. In my case, I did ask her what her parents said...and she said they just stay out of her private business like that. Which is understandable...but I wonder what the parents say to each other behind closed doors. I would love to be a fly on the wall sometimes.